


Gloomy Days

by transcendhumanity



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Romance, Sannami
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2018-10-06 10:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10332323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transcendhumanity/pseuds/transcendhumanity
Summary: The story of the Straw Hats took a darker turn, forcing them to disband and find their worth in the world on their own. The narrative takes place years after the disbandment, when there finally is a reason for them to reunite: Marriage!But some people aren't exactly happy about that.





	1. Broken, damned and drained

**Author's Note:**

> So, how am I going to start this one? A while ago, maybe three months or so, I was scavenging the internet for fanfiction regarding my OTP in One Piece, SaNami, but after a while I didn’t find any new ones. But no problem, eh? Be the change you want to see in this world! Thus I started writing my own, my second fanfiction in general, in German, mind you, and thought it was going to be a oneshot. Well, so much for that, three months later I’m still not freaking finished. And until the muse kisses me again, I decided to translate it into English and share it with you. Please, cut me some slack though, it’s very average and, at times, a bit too angsty. Plus English is not my mother tongue and I’m a far cry from being a Shakespearean scholar. That said, I hope that you can force yourself to enjoy the first chapter. _Cursive_  are the character’s thoughts.  
> Sidenote: I also uploaded the fic on fanfiction.net and tumblr, under a different alias though  
> Sidenote 2: If you're interested in reading the original fic in German, just hit me up and I'll provide the link.
> 
> Disclaimer: One Piece doesn’t belong to me. Which is a shame.

Chapter I – Broken, damned and drained

“ _Cast your stone into the water now_  
_And watch the ripples spread like poison_  
_Under the gun, underneath_  
_You’ll feel slaughtered and betrayed_ ”  
**Witchcraft – White Light Suicide**

_Can’t believe that I really came here. It’s like cutting my own flesh, some kinda shitty devil must’ve possessed me, forced me to endure this torture._  
Despite these grim thoughts, the scenery Sanji was enjoying in this very moment was far from horrible. Not a single cloud shrouded the bluest sky imaginable and the sun shone in all its glory. He was sitting on a bench, quietly staring at the marvellous estate before him. Two wide floors, born from the finest architecture one could find this side of the Grandline, surrounded by pillars made of incredibly expensive marble.  
The owner must’ve been financially gifted.  
Also, the obvious addiction to perfection didn’t seem to stop when it came to the encompassing garden, blooming in all the wonderful colours of spring, seamlessly becoming one with nature while still holding its own special place. At this very moment, a literal army of gardeners  was working tirelessly to preserve the status quo, only adding one little piece to it: They were planting tangerine trees. Sanji of course knew where they came from.  
_Doesn’t come of as a surprise, eh? She never settled for anything but the best._ , he thought.  
He should’ve felt warm, sitting under the bright midday sun while wearing a custom tailored black smoking and, instead of his usual tie, a bow-tie made of silk. A few minutes ago, he had opened the jacket before sitting down to have a cigarette and contemplate his situation.  
_Look, even the shitty sun’s giggling about the poor clown that is me. Goddamn shitty schadenfreude. So grossly incandescent, it seems that there’s never going to be night-time again while I’m probably facing my darkest days here. Oh, l'ironie!_ , surprisingly enough though, he smiled. A tired and resignated smile, but nonetheless a smile. And the only thing that seemed to fit into his current mood. Fate had forced his hand when answering her invitation, fate and a whole lot of booze. How long has it been since the Straw Hats were forced to disband? How did it happen? He wasn’t able to recall, mostly because he didn’t want to. It’s been a terrible time for all of them. He could still remember their former captain, Monkey D. Luffy, crying bitter tears of helplessness, vowing that they’ll meet each other again to continue their adventures and the pursuit of their dreams.  
All of them again, together. Those have been his words.  
But nothing did ever come true. _I should be the last person to be surprised by that, shouldn’t I? That’s what comes from living a life of making empty promises to each and every attractive woman under the sun. Promised ‘em the moon and the stars, but _still left with the first light of dawn. Even after the bonds of friendship were shattered, even when I wasn’t forced to live as a fugitive anymore, I couldn’t stop moving to new places, from island to island, from woman to woman.__  
The cigarette was finished and he slowly thought about moving, not wanting to risk a late arrival to the ceremony, but he couldn’t be bothered with that right now. Thus, he ignited another one. A ritual of his own. The first draw from a fresh cigarette always breathed life back into his body and soul, sometimes literally. With a slight smile on his lips, he remembered shrugging off devastating damage done to his body just by smoking. But those days were gone, probably forever. Why fight anymore, for anything?  
_At least some of us have been able to .. finally be happy with their lot in life. Shouldn’t I be happy for them?_ , but he wasn’t able to force himself to feel good, not for them, not for anyone. It even seemed to him that an eternity had passed since he felt anything at all anyway.  
From a strictly objective point of view, those past years had been good to him. He managed to gain a small fortune with his cooking and his name was first on the list of many a food connaisseur on the entire Grand Line and all the four Blues. No, not 'Black Leg’ Sanji. And don’t even bother with that whole Vinsmoke-thing. He was 'Sanji, protégé of Uke Mochi’, the mythical goddess of food. Sanji couldn’t even remember when it was that he dropped the 'Black Leg’, but sometimes, when his mind drifted away, he was compelled to remember just how proud he had once been.  
All the lives he - no, they - touched, all the tyrants they brought down, the marvellous and sorrowful moments they shared were connected to 'Black Leg’.

And maybe that was very the reason he had to get rid of it.

Absentmindedly, he gazed upon the estate, inclining his head from one side to the other, asking himself how many rooms this monster had anyway. And in how many of these rooms one lucky man received what and who he had been denied for so many years. He arrived an hour ago but had not yet taken any steps to introduce himself to the personnel or the owner.  
Because he didn’t know how he would react to seeing her again. Her beautiful copper-coloured hair ..  _I wonder how she wears it now. Still long? Maybe short again? Pinned-up maybe? Oh my.._ , her gentle and clever brown eyes, so deep that a man could drown himself in there, sometimes, especially when she was working on some kind of plan, looking sly, making her even more attractive. Her face as a whole, he was sure about that much, would still look like angels descended from the Heavens to sculpture it, their one flawless masterpiece walking amongst mere mortals.  _Only .. happy now, that she has arrived somewhere in her life after all the running, the fighting and falling of silent tears. No longer restless, no longer a fugitive, no longer _burdened with fear about what would happen the next day.__  
Did they not have good times too? Even with the marines ever so close by, even with all the pirates that had a different understanding of that word than they had. At least they usually didn’t have to go to bed with their stomachs empty.  
_But .. I guess I can understand her. These times left everyone of us scarred in more than one way, and some of them will never be able to heal .. but could it be that she had the worst lot of us all? At least I wasn’t kidnapped and forced into marriage by that .. beast, Absalom. Yeah, I think I understand why she has chosen this way. Away from everything, conquering new frontiers._ , actually, he did want to walk the path of oblivion too.  
Of course, he never thought about marriage. But after the end of the Straw Hats, he just wanted to forget everything, not willing to torture himself any more than he already did.  
Before his thoughts could drift away again, he suddenly became aware of somebody entering his sphere of solitude.  
“Marimo.”  
“Ero-cook.”  
A few seconds passed until they finally looked at each other and somehow both of them knew that it wasn’t easy for the other one to be here. No matter how aloof they had tried to be when the bonds of friendship, nakamaship even, couldn’t hold the crew together any longer, each and everyone of them was devastated. “Didn’t expect to see you here, ero-cook.”, the former pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro finally tried to start a real conversation, even though in his usual laconic manner.  
“And I didn’t expect that you’d make it in time before the ceremony ended, all the guests left and Winter Solstice.”, was the obvious answer. The pirate hunter’s bad sense of direction was the stuff of legends.  
Sanji took a last draw of his cigarette and flung it away, pulling out another one while exhaling the smoke into the warm day.  
“It’s not like that you’re very punctual yourself, mh? On your way here, did you have to cling to the last pieces of virility your startlingly small frame possesses?”, surprisingly enough, the green-haired swordsman wore a suit himself. Not custom tailored, of course, but it was an actual suit. And it was even more surprising that this very guy, who usually couldn’t care less about his appearance - as long as it was terrifying – seemed to have at least basic knowledge about the colours he could put on with that rather uncommon hair of his. Over a pale shirt, he wore a navy blue suit coat, complemented by trousers of the same colour. He didn’t wear a tie though, but that didn’t surprise Sanji in the least. The swordsman always went for a more casual look, but he could’ve done a lot worse.  
“Actually, I saw you from a distance and it took me half the day igniting candles and having a hell of a lot of moments of silence for the poor, sodding drunkard that finished your attire.”, both men looked at each other again and, surprisingly enough, both of them smiled the very same smile. For just one second, it seemed to both of them, the past was alive and well, new adventures and friends on their way.  
“Jokes aside, I did not expect to see you ever again, ero-cook, here in the least of all places.”, some seriousness found its way back into the conversation and both immediatly knew it, Sanjis mind unable to ignore it all. _Maybe I wouldn’t have come if I had _received the invitation when I was sober. Maybe I would’ve just torn it apart to burn it and throw its ashes into the wind instead of thinking about all the good times we had for hours on end, weeping bitter tears just to accept it in the end, because I _persuaded myself that I had to see her one last time.. How could I even think that some dreams are worth suffering, fighting for? Could’ve just stabbed myself right in the shitty chest, it’d amount to the same. What an idiot I am.._ , instead of replying with even one of these things, he just fell into a somber silence and for a second it seemed that not even the sun in all its glory and schadenfreude did not dare to touch him.  
The first conversation after so many years it was, he didn’t want to start it with lies.__

More moments passed and the good mood had gone into the the realms of forgottenness.


	2. Haven't we lost enough?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Nami's preparations before the ceremony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, the second chapter is here! I mean, it was there before, only in German and it took me the better half of today’s freetime to translate it, but I hope that it’s going to suffice.   
> I just wanted to say that I’m incredibly thankful to the people who liked the first one and even reblogged it, you don’t know how much that means to me (besides the obvious “Hey, someone seems to like it. I did not totally waste hours on end writing it! It’s something!”).  
> That said, this one was done relatively quickly because, yeah, I didn’t have to write it from scratch. Chapter III might take a little longer because my time is limited and I don’t have a clue how to even start that one. It’ll feature several - smaller - sub-chapters, showing off the PoVs of all the Straw Hats presently there. Maybe I’m going to release them one by one or in a bundle, can’t say that right now. What’s your opinion on that matter, dear reader?  
> Whatever! Let’s cut to the chase, stuff is about the same as in Chapter I, Italic are the character’s thoughts and so on. The meaning of the passages of the songs I quoted in the beginning and the end is as deep as you’d like it, personally I think they just influenced my writing of the chapter as a whole a lot. That said, I’d really like to encourage you to listen to the CSN-song, it’s beautiful.  
> As always, I really hope that you can force yourself to enjoy this one too. Try to have fun and be careful out there, we wouldn’t want to see you go hollow.

Chapter II – Haven’t we lost enough?

_If our eyes should meet then so be it_  
_No need to trouble the heart_  
_That is hidden where no one can free it_  
_Only to tear it apart_  
**Silje Nergaard – Be Still My Heart**

It ought to be the single best day of her life and, considering it from the outside, there was no reason to doubt that. Not only was Cassian, her husband-to-be, born into a wealthy family, but he was without the spoils that one could associate with such an upbringing, not to mention his good looks, his benevolence towards her, his family and even the servants one could find in any corner of his ancestral home. Tall, dark and handsome, keeping himself in good shape without transforming into a brick shithouse, more lean and with carefully defined musculature. Exactly the way she preferred it. Besides those obvious merits he had also enjoyed professional education in the liberal arts – he even supported her every step of her way when it came to the pursuit of her own passion, cartography -, and has thus been forged into a well-rounded person and a worthy heir for his family name. He even showed genuine care towards her tangerine trees and took it upon himself to find a place for them in their expensive garden so that they were never too far away from.  
And he did not smoke.  
Some might consider that a more trivial matter, but the smell of tobacco always reminded her of Belle-mère .. and of him.  
There was nothing but grief to be associated with it.  
Back to the good things though! Not only was she about to marry a wonderful person, but she was also about to meet with her old friends, the kind of friendship that could easily identify as blood-relation, mind you. She recalled that Zoro had answered her call, as had their former doctor Chopper and even Luffy came out of the woodwork to be with her. Robin, of course, was quick to accept the invitation and arrived a few days earlier to help wherever she could. That’s what friends were for, right?  
And .. Sanji.  
She was gravely surprised when she heard from him again. Surprised and shaken. Even when she was writing the invitations, she envisaged that he wouldn’t even care to answer or come up with some half-baked reason not to attend, and she would’ve been fine with that. But he answered, said that he’d come and even until this very moment, she did not know how to handle it. _Calm down, girl. You’re getting married today!_ , she reminded herself, shaking her head and examining her appearance in the mirror in front of her.  
Never had she been more beautiful, more marvellous than today, she thought. The dress she wore was perfection, shimmering in a soft white light as if someone lit a fire in the darkest of nights, it was incredibly well tailored and an enormous amount of money had to change the owner for that to come to pass, but every single belly was worth it. It was off-the-shoulder to show a little more of her flawless skin and the fabric felt like paradise incarnate, fitting like a second skin. And her hair, her hair! Robin surpassed every expection and had turned her hair into a piece of classical art, producing a complicated put-up hairdo that just underlined her magnificient, fiery mane. Contact between both women had been few and far between since the Straw Hats disbanded, maybe a letter or a short call every few months. But when she arrived, everything was as if she’d never left. They shared a long and warm embrace before Robin congratulated her on her wedding and the good catch she’d made with Cassian. But the most important thing was that Robin did everything she could to make her feel like a fairy tale princess. And just to top it all off, she agreed to be her witness!  
_This is going to be the most wonderful day of my life and nothing could change a damn thing about that!_ , she reckoned, turning away from the mirror. The ceremony was set to start in about half an hour and she was sure that Luffy would be in the kitchen, begging for food again. Maybe reminding himself of his old, careless persona. A few minutes ago, Robin had left to look for him, because he too had an important role to play: He was to lead her to the altar. When they were still travelling together, she always felt like he was an older brother, at times even a substitute father.  
When they were still travelling together..  _Just, no! Don’t think about that, girl! You’ll just ruin your makeup!_ , she sternly admonished herself. Thinking about the past was normally a very tear-intensive issue that did not have any place within the happiest day of her life. For a moment she remembered how happy she was that he accepted the duty to lead her to the altar and a soft smile formed upon her lips.  _Luffy.._ , within a heartbeat, she felt foreign in her own body, rising from her chair, walking numbly towards her wardrobe, opening it.  
And there it was, antiquated, dusty, not having been worn in what felt like aeons, but still full of memories, both good and bad.  
Everyone of them hit rock bottom when friendship and dreams were just not enough anymore to keep going, nakamaship ended where reality ensued. Defeats strung together and on that single, impossible day they had to bury a beloved member, giving in to his final breath, it just became too much. Disbanding did seem like to only way possible to keep on living.  
Some of them cried overtly, herself included, while others went for a bland, emotionless façade.  
Behaving like that was one of the things she could never forgive Sanji for.  
Don’t get that wrong though, she begged and cried and pleaded for everyone to stay, hopelessly. Robin had gently touched her face, breathing a kiss on her forehead, telling her that it was the only way, the only logical conclusion. Franky and Chopper cried without remorse, holding each other as if the world depended on it. Zoro had been hard, as expected, mumbling about becoming the best swordsman in the world anyway, even without them. Usopp had tried that too, but before too long, his veneer crumbled and he too finally cried, besides being the only one of them to have at least some beacon of hope waiting for him at home: Kaya.  
And finally, when there were only three of them left, Sanji abandoned them. It took a while for her to admit that him leaving hurt the worst of all, she even fell to her knees, trying to stop him, didn’t want to let go of his hand.  
And he didn’t even look at her.  
Sanji, the Black Leg, who’s element had always been fire, might as well have been former Admiral Aokiji in that very moment. Just standing there, silently smoking a cigarette, being an immovable object.  
Sanji had also been the only person she did not have any contact with during all those years. No letter, no call and especially no visitation. And it was a good thing. After the end, there wasn’t a single day for months that went by without weeping. And eventually, she had to abandon Luffy too.  **Devastated**  didn’t even start to describe his condition. His friends, his family, the people he trusted probably the most in the entire world walked out of his life, one by one until no one remained, leaving a wound that would never even start to heal.  
And exactly that was the point that he gave his beloved strawhat to her. Disbanding their small family of pirates had also been the funeral of their dreams.  
A few years later, she met Cassian, who immediately began to court her like she was a princess or something similar, an otherworldly beauty. After she got herself into the relationship with him, it didn’t take long for him to propose marriage, which she accepted without respite. After having lived a restless life for so many years, Cassian was a gift, an anchor in this world and for that, she was unendingly thankful towards him.  
Her whole body shaking, she lifted her hand. Fingers long and delicate beginning to touch the strawhat affectionately.. so many memories, so much time spent together, all the fortune, hell, even all the mishap they had to endure, represented in such a simple thing. But it all ended in tears.  
_I should just burn it! I don’t want it here any longer! .. and I’m sure that Luffy doesn’t want it back either.._ , she felt her eyes tear up, breathing became troublesome as she tried to fight them back. Hastily, she shut the closet tight and turned around, never wanting to look back at this relic ever again. Until she would eventually do it, some habits were hard to break away from.  
Trying to focus her mind on the wonderful time that was lying before her, she rushed towards her dresser to dry the corners of her eyes. It was going to be a golden time for her, the best time of her life, she would’ve everything that she ever longed for: Money, security ..  _and love?_  
She slowly shook her head.  
“That’s not exactly the right time to think about that, don’t you think, girl?”, she told herself, but it sounded more like a question. Cassian had confessed his love for her on more than one occasion, but she only always replied by kissing him, silently hoping that he’d interpret it as her reciprocating. Truth was, she did not know if she loved him. What was so important about that anyway, really? Even if she was unsure about it right now, the wedding would certainly change it for the better, right? Some, probably old, person would proclaim them husband and wife, in front of his family and her old friends, those that once were family. Even more than that.  
Moreover, she’d heard more than enough stories about old couples who only gradually, during their married life, started to actually love each other. Why should it be different for her?  
Again, she started inspecting her appearance in the mirror, needing to make sure that everything was still perfect, that she was still perfect. Even through the shaking of her head, her hair was still a piece of art. Dilligently, she started examining her eyes, these gentle, big brown eyes, even more emphasized through the subtle use of eyeshadow..  _Sanji said that he’d rather drown in them than in the All Blue._  The thought came so suddenly that she nearly choked on her saliva, she literally shocked herself and, in consequence, shook her head fiercely to get rid of it. Over all these years they travelled together, Sanji had said an unending amount of things to an equally unending amount of beautiful women, heart-eyed and wobbly-bodied, like an ape drunk on love, but out of all the things, why did she remember that one?  
_Because he was normal when he told me. Because he openly declared that I was more important than his dream, that once-in-a-lifetime-moment when it seemed that he was serious about it_ , she answered her own question. Some memories already began to fade, but she’d never forget that single moment until the last of her days.  
Because, and that she clearly recalled, she was happy.  
Oh, and how deep she fell after he abandoned them – no, her! - anyway, despite the words that left his mouth. No more tender, endearing words. In that very moment it seemed that he hated even the thought of touching her. Every single thing he said was a lie. _Only I could’ve been dumb enough to actually start trusting him, right? That is never – ever – going to happen again._  She tried, needing  to encourage herself, because the day had come to see him, look into his deep blue eyes again. She promised herself that she wouldn’t weep. Never again and especially not because of him. It was ironic in any way imaginable, normally she was tough, strong and didn’t weep easily.  _Maybe I should restrict myself to just noticing him, maybe a nod. And that’s all, shouldn’t be too much of a hassle._  Again, she wished not to have him invited at all, but it was too late for that.  
It was then that she noticed a cautious knocking on her door that dragged her out of her own thoughts, forcing reflexes to take over, spinning around and staring at it.  
It was also then when she spoke without even thinking clearly, her voice a little too loud, her lips betraying her.  
“ **Sanji-kun?!** ”  
Of course it wasn’t Sanji who opened the door.  _Oh my god, you stupid dumb girl! Why in the world should he be here?! You need a sober mind now and he’s the last person in the entire world that you want to see anyway!_  
Slowly and with a slight smile on her face, Nico Robin entered the room.  
“Not exactly, dear navigator-san. He’s here though.”, her knowing smile even widened a little when she spoke, carefully watching Nami’s expression. “Don’t worry, my dear. It’s perfectly normal for the bride to ask herself if she’s doing the right thing. I’m just here to tell you that I found our captain-san and that he’s waiting to lead you to the altar. The guests have already taken their seats.”, speaking, she gracefully strode towards Nami until she could finally embrace her friend, paying special attention not to ruffle her hair or muss up her dress. “I .. I’m not asking myself if I’m doing the right thing..”, the bride-to-be responded, immediately regretting the oh-so-obvious lie. But even if Robin minded, she did not show. Slowly, she loosened the warm embrace to lock eyes with her, gently touching her face with delicate fingers. “Don’t worry about a single thing, my dear navigator-san. Every single one of us came here to prove to you that you still hold, that you will always hold, a special place in our hearts. And nothing can change a thing about that. No matter how many years pass.”  
The bride-to-be was astonished by these words. Sure, Robin was always polite, sometimes even motherly, but even in the best of times you couldn’t call her emotional. Tears erupted again, but this time, she did not care, instead trying to focus on the eye contact between them.  
“Do you think that I’m doing the right thing?”, the last few words were little more than a faraway whisper, her voice wasn’t entirely under her control anymore. And neither was her body. The shaking started with her hands and would soon reach the center of her body.

“Are you happy?”

_In the night your image arises_  
_Close behind comes the pain_  
_I hope I’m dreaming ‘cos it hurts so bad_  
_When I reach out for you, I’m alone in some room_  
_I just never thought that you’d disappear.._  
**Crosby, Stills and Nash – Haven’t We Lost Enough?**


	3. Clear conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title says, it's all about the King Without A Crown in this one. Need to get that ball rolling somehow. Also: The next chapters aren't exactly in chronological order, might even be in reverse order, but I haven't made up my mind about that. So don't be confused!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I was finally able to write the first part of the third chapter and decided to share it with you instead of releasing all of it at once. As I’ve said in the last chapter, the next ones are going to be all about the crew, starting with “The King Without A Crown” and I really hope that you’ll like it. Another thing I think needs a few words here is the fact that I felt compelled to use a deus ex machina, even though I try to limit his actual impact on the story. The thing is just that for a few days now, I thought about a way to start the ball rolling but wasn’t satisfied with anything I came up with. But when I was thinking about all the adventures the SHs had, it was pretty clear to me that they were as lucky as it gets most of the time, I’d even say favoured by fortune. Well, one thing led to another and a deus ex machina OC was born. I really hope that you don’t mind too much. Have fun!
> 
> Disclaimer: One Piece does belong to me now. Jk, it doesn't and never will.  
> Sitenote: The next chapters will feature heavy symbolism on the side of my deus ex, regarding the interaction with the SHs, in this chapter I simply forgot. Shame on me D:

**III.1 The King Without A Crown**

_I’m tired of running, I’m tired of who I am_

_I’ve been absolved from this prison which I stand_

_I pray for freedom from everything I see_

_Somebody please set me free_

**Riot – The Man**

 

Waiting had become an essential part of his life and no matter what he did, there was no escaping it. The rather unremarkable young man with the short black hair and the clearly visible scar running parallel below his left eye had sought out the next best wall to lean against, arms crossed in front of his chest. During the last couple of minutes, a few of the other guests came by to greet him, but none of them seemed to be interested in conversation. One could have had the feeling that most of the guests only had found their way into these halls to attend not the wedding, but the wealthy, powerful and venerable family of the groom, but he really didn’t waste a thought on that matter. He came because she requested it, because she had a task for him that would tear apart the ties of routine that were prevalent in his life nowadays, if only for a while. And last but not least, because it made his heart dance to see all these beloved faces, to get in touch with them again, no matter how it hurt. Even though it felt like a lifetime ago, he still remembered vividly how these people used to enrich his life with all things one’s heart could ever yearn for.

The past years had taken a heavy toll on him, that was undeniable, even for himself. Contrary to every single one of his old friends, sans maybe Zoro, he hadn’t learned a trade before becoming a pirate, let alone gotten professionel education that he could use right now to keep him swimming. Mind you, he was a genius when it came to fighting and improvising, but being a part of the Navy really wasn’t an alternative at all, even though his name was forgotten and his bounty erased, thanks to a certain old man who couldn’t have been happier to hear that his grandson had finally buried the dream of being a pirate. The other side of that coin was that it lead him to lose each and every way of navigating his own life. No other member of his former crew was as dependent on purpose, again maybe sans Zoro, as he was. Without purpose, he felt just like a burden to the world and himself. Nowhere to go, nothing to fight for. And despite his usually friendly and cheerful exterior, he sometimes asked himself if life was even worth living without a purpose.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. But this was neither the time nor the place to make a decision such as that. He allowed himself a moment of leeway and closed his eyes, trying to recall how good life has been in the past, when they were still nakama. Still, he could clearly remember those times, but his heart grew heavier ever since. With their dreams buried, he had lost all direction in his life. Some of them, Chopper and Franky for example, had offered to stick together, only if even for a while, but with the death of one of their beloved friends, his soul was crushed. He disappointed all of them by not being able to protect a member of their crew. The last nail in the coffin was the very day they decided to let the Thousand Sunny sail on alone, a ghost ship. None of them felt worthy of being on board of her, because everybody felt that she was the only one never disappointing the crew and their collective dreams. _I wonder how she’s feeling these days_ , he pondered, fighting back a lonely tear. Eventually, he found a job that would at least keep him fed, working as a bouncer for ever changing drinking holes situated in various ports. But he was all the more surprised when he came to recognise that being sated alone wasn’t as fulfilling as he remembered it to be.

His silent contemplation of the past was rather rudely interrupted by a conversation only a few meters from him, lead by a booming but cheerful voice.

“Well, my boy, you look rather young for being a part of the clergy! What happened to Father Logarius?”, the loud voice demanded to know. Luffy finally opened his eyes and allowed himself to look at the people talking. Human interaction, especially friendly human interaction, seemed to be the only thing that kept him going during darker times. And that man, even if he was loud, seemed to be happy enough to spark his interest.

The first man he laid eyes upon was rather large and well-built, perfectly befitting his booming voice. Nonetheless, he had a friendly face that only got more round and friendly because of his receding hairline, perfectly supplemented with a broad smile. He somehow knew that this guy meant no harm, he was probably going to pass out later that day while trying to playfully flirt with one of the bridesmaids. For all of his life, he knew when people meant dangerous business, a pretty useful skill for a bouncer and even more so for a captain. Only decades later he learned that it had something to do with his then-dormant Observation Haki. But the only problems this man would probably cause were for the people trying to put his passed-out body in a bed.

“Unfortunately for us all, his ship was caught by a storm and carried off course, word is that it would take him the better part of next week to finally arrive. And wouldn’t it be a pretty large inconvenience for the bride, the groom and their guests if they had to wait any longer?”, that voice belonged to the second man he looked at. Soothing and quite deep, definitely a voice people liked to listen to. He wasn’t nearly as tall as his conversational partner, probably around Luffy’s height, and, apart from his shoulders, wasn’t a broad guy to begin with. Probably around his mid-twenties. Still, there was something about him that seemed odd. For one, his hair was really long for a man and would’ve even been impractically long if he ever got into fights, even though he pulled them together in a simple ponytail that went over his hip. But his hair was the only uncommon sight about his appearance. His eyes were of a light brown and seemed kind and gentle to Luffy, his lips accustomed to a friendly but somehow knowing smile and there was a barely recognisable scar running right above his left eye. Well, and his chin was pretty prominent, but all in all nothing special. _What’s so strange about him then?_ , he silently asked himself and continued to watch these two.

And then it hit him like a brick. _No matter how hard I try, I just can’t get a grasp of him!_ , and indeed, even through the second sight of his Observation Haki, it was impossible to predict just about anything this man would do.

“Well, that’s a damn shame, but I trust that you’ll be perfectly able to perform the ceremony, aren’t you?”, he could hear the large man’s voice again.

“Don’t worry about a thing, sir. I’ve seen .. countless wedding ceremonies all over the world and know the words of every single one of them by heart.”, he gave the other man a reassuring smile and loosened his ruby-coloured tie a bit. And even though Luffy was by now literally staring at him, he didn’t seem to mind or to notice.

“That’s good to hear, honestly. Meaning no offence, Father, but I just have to ask how a man of your young years has been travelling to so many places all over the world. Just seems odd to me.”

“None taken, don’t fret. As for your question, don’t waste a thought on that. I’m just a little older than my apprearance might lead you to assume, but I probably have to thank my parents for that.”, his smile widened a little, radiating self-confidence. And that seemed to be good enough for the other man, amicably patting his shoulder.

“Father, just .. I’m a little embarrassed, but I’ve just got to ask: I’m sure you’ve seen the raven-haired beauty that’s going to be witness for Nami, right? A few minutes ago, she was in a conversation with an absolutely stunning woman, meaning no offence, Father, and no matter who I asked, nobody seemed to know her. I .. what ..”, and then there was a very confused pause.

“I .. I somehow can’t seem to remember how she looked like. I mean, nothing. Not her hair, not the dress she wore. Oh dammit! Terribly sorry, father! Might just be that I’m slowly getting old. But! Yes, she wore a silver wristlet with a ruby embedded in it, the same colour as your tie. Do you have the slightest idea who she was or were I could find her?”, Luffy put on a slight frown. _Someone was talking to Robin? Probably just before she found me. Ya, that might be it._ , he just shrugged off the thought.

“I have to apologise, sir, but I can’t remember laying mine eyes on a damsel such as you describe, I’m sure I’d remember that. But you shouldn’t worry, maybe she’s one of the guests and if that is the case, you’ll probably see her again as soon as the ceremony starts. But I have to excuse myself for a moment, for I need to have a talk with the father of the bride. But if you’d like, we can continue our conversation after the ceremony.”, he renewed his smile and both men shook hands. Luffy himself didn’t even notice for the moment that the smaller man was talking about him, only when he approached did he remember.

“No hard feelings, good man, but you look a bit young to have a grown up daughter such as Miss Nami.”, the man initiated, again with his soothing, friendly voice. Luffy made a try to laugh at the remark, but his heart wasn’t into it. Mostly because of the words he spoke next.

“We’re close friends, used to be even closer when we were still travelling together.”, he tried shielding his feelings with his signature broad smile, but he couldn’t help the sentiment that after all these years, he had finally met someone who was able to read people even better than he could. The man didn’t seem to mind his attempt and continued to smile.

“It’s very understandable that she’d ask you to lead her to the altar, then. Looking at you, though, I wouldn’t mind if you’d perform the same service for my daughter. If I had one, I mean.”, he said with a smirk.

“Thank you, I guess. But if the father is still somewhere to be found, why would you let me do it?”, Luffy replied, weighing his head to the side. That guy was really strange, but he wasn’t sure which way, good or bad.

“Oh, because I’d just be a father”, he stopped for a second, laughing. “In two senses of the word, actually. But you, oh .. the longer I look at you, into your eyes, the posture of your body .. the more I see. Please, good man, just stop me if I’m being too intrusive, but you have the look of a man who has lost more than one could describe, more than most people possess in a lifetime. But even if you deny it now, there is still steel underneath. Determination that somehow keeps you going. And even if you try your best to absent from it, there .. is still hope. And every single little thing in this world is built on hope.”

The former captain of the Straw Hats was at a loss for words and just stared at him “Are .. are you a fortuneteller?!”, he replied a few seconds later, regaining control over his tongue, still staring at the other man with awe. He let out a soft chuckle before he answered.

“I wish I was, it would make things so much easier. But no, I just .. see things, hear things and feel things, and maybe the future isn’t as shrouded in myth to me as it is to you. But I feel compelled to tell you one more thing. When I look at you, I see a man who is amiss of something. Something very important, but still not totally devoid of hope. And one last thing .. no one here is, even if they think they are.”, he paused for a long time, smiling, examining him.

“It’s going to be cold and windy very soon. Maybe you should find something to cover your head.”, and with those words, he just left to take his place at the altar.

For lack of a better word, Luffy was dumbfounded. He just stood there while his gaze followed the man he just talked to. _How .. how is that possible? Maybe he lied and really is a fortuneteller? How could he know all those things? And still I can’t get a_ _grasp on him!_ His thoughts started to run over one another. Actually, the situation was kind of creepy. Was this guy a Navy soldier? He knew things that most people had already forgotten, sans the ones who’s lives were directly touched by the crew. He didn’t even notice that his jaw already touched the cold ground beneath his feet and only when some people stared at him with a shocked expression on their faces was it that he noticed.

But there was no time to think about that, he had a duty to fulfill. But there was this thought that crept inside of his mind that his duty was not to give Nami into the care of another family.

“Captain-san?”, the door of her room had opened and Nico Robin was approaching him, wearing a thin smile on her lips.

“I think our navigator-san is as ready as she can be to .. say the words. And you should .. oh, you look pale, captain-san. Could it be that you’ve seen a spirit of impending doom?”

“I don’t know, but..”, there was something a hell of a lot more important on his mind. Something that needed to be said, no matter how much it might hurt.

“Robin, I don’t think that Nami belongs here.”


	4. Intermezzo (III.1,5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unplanned Intermezzo from Sanji's PoV and his interaction with two persons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that took me a bit longer than expected. The reason for that is actually pretty easy, I didn’t plan writing it at all, if I had stuck to the plan this chapter would be about a different Strawhat, but I really couldn’t help myself, inspiration just jumped me when I tried to climb down into a bottle of whiskey. Gotta live with that, I guess.
> 
> Disclaimer: One Piece and none of its characters belong to me.

_Twenty minutes of reprieve. If I'd really put my mind into it, I could drown myself in wine with only half the time._ , even though he didn't want it to happen, there was no denying the fact that he was astounded that this fine mansion even possessed large ballroom. Here, the ceremony would take place, a servant told him mere minutes ago. _And then the shitty marimo wandered off to look for the bathrooms. I wonder where this legendary voyage will lead him? Maybe directly to the freaking One Piece._ , he thought about getting blackout drunk again, just for the hell of it. The question why he had decided to come here still crossed his mind from time to time and it started to bother him. _Getting wasted on Nami-san's wedding would probably leave a terrible first impression after all these years apart. But what would it matter, anyway? Good impressions, bad ones. After all we went through, divided or together, I dare say that it would only affect the few words of farewell we're going to exchange when all of this is over_. His trail of thought broke off abruptly when a young woman bumped into him.  
Obviously, him losing his balance from the rather soft impact was out of the question, the woman stumbled though, and he was quick to react to that. He caught her by leaning forward and putting his strong, right hand on the small of her back, his thick blonde hair falling into his face. As expected, because he basically expected it from every woman that crossed his path, her hair was made of the smoothest silk, her voice sweet, sweet honey. Her skin was pale and flawless, as was her face, sculpted by a master of his craft, supported by light blue eyes that went heavenly well with the colour of her hair, finally backed up by full, red lips and a delicate little nose. Regarding the nose, she smelled as good as her appearance promised. Sweet, but not too much to offend a trained connaisseur, a touch of cinnamon paired with peaches. She giggled softly, being out of breath from the sudden impact and shock connected with it. Still, she spoke to him.  
"My, you handsome devil, how can I repay you for this heroic rescue?", her voice was, surprisingly enough, nearly overflowing with seductiveness when she raised a hand to run long, elegant fingers over his chest in a more than tender touch. "And oh so well-defined .. oh, please ..", the next moment, he felt the fingers of her other hand touching his left hand, carefully sweeping over his skin. The bright smile she gave him could have melted solid rock. "It appears that the handsome devil isn't wearing a ring, what a beautiful gift that is.", her fingers intertwined with his before she continued. "Such a handsome, flawlessly attired man .. oh, you even smell so good .. when I close my eyes, the vastness of the ocean is within my reach .. and still, no ring. Is there something about the handsome devil that I don't know? Are you, perhaps, a vicious pirate, here to crash the wedding and find a bride for yourself? I've read a lot of books about these things happening, but I'd have never gone as far as thinking myself in that situation .. or maybe once, twice or twice dozen times ..?", her fingers on his chest made their way upwards, over the collar of his white shirt, continuously touching the skin of his neck. Of course, he knew what she was up to. In a matter of seconds from now, her hand would grab the hair at the back of his head and pull his face down into a kiss. Some kind of kiss, good, bad, tender, passionate. It really didn't make a difference. She was beautiful, young, had a body untouched yet by the wheel of time and she obviously thought that she wanted him. His mind was leaning against the fourth wall while her fingers wandered. _What is it with this world of ours, anyway? Nine out of ten women between .. well, way too young and .. fifty-ish are comely, if not outright gorgeous. I wonder if there are other worlds with a lower stunning-woman-per-head-count_. But the advantages of living freely in such a world were blatantly obvious. For one, even a not-so-sharp observer would be able to see beauty everywhere he looked. Another benefit, even if not as apparent, was that it would change most people's perception of beauteousness in the long run, even if it took what felt like an eternity. That and years of lonely travelling could go a long way together. And that was exactly why he had to stop her ongoing attempt of kissing him in a rather timely manner.  
" _Mademoiselle_ , pray excuse, but I must bid farewell, for I fear that I am most certainly **not** what you are looking for.", he whispered softly, although with unconcealed emphasis in his deep voice while straightening his back and getting her to stand on her own feet again. Simultanously, he distanced his face from hers, his right hand let go of her back, the fingers of his left hand slid from the intertwining. _Even moreso, you are not who, or what, for that matter, my heart is yearning for_.  
He could vividly imagine that such a move would have worked on many a bachelor to attend the wedding, hell, just a few years ago it would have worked on him in a heartbeat. _Just her bumping into me would've been enough_ , he corrected himself. But somehow, those days belonged to a distant past. His nose did not bleed, his eyes did not turn into hearts and his body remained in its usual composure.  
Obviously, she wasn't quite happy with the outcome and pouted at him, raising her arms to make another move. It was stopped in its tracks though when their eyes met for a moment. Something she saw in his exposed eye brought her back into the grim reality they were both living in, something in the unending dark blue of his iris must have forced her to halt. "Well, you don't know what you're missing out on.", she turned away and left him bowing in quite a courteous fashion. _Might be, might not be. All the best to you, mademoiselle. May you find what you are looking for_.  
After that little incident, he took up the thought of going towards the bar again. Needless to say, the whole ballroom was stuffed with beautiful ladies, many of the younger ones showing a lot of skin, whilst the more mature women went for elegance over blatant sex appeal. But even though they were easy on the eyes, his countenance effortlessly dealt with almost all of them. Almost.  
Despite all these years and the development he went through, that part of him, the love cook, wasn't dead, he simply got better at controlling his urges. Nonetheless, his trained eye was quick to spot something, someone special. Admittedly, it wasn't really that difficult because she was the only person sitting at the bar, but even so, what he was looking at right now was more than pleasing to the eyes. Pinned up raven black hair exposed a beautiful, pristine neck that transitioned smoothly into a, in lack of a better word, breathtakingly stunning back that was adorned with a small tattoo right above her left shoulder blade. The Marimo was forgotten and even the nearly overwhelmingly strong sense of impending doom he felt, considering Nami-san's wedding, seemed to fade a little. _Well, why the hell not? She's going to get married today, anyway. They're going to have a beautiful shitty honeymoon and she'll be popping out **his** shitty kids left and right and in a matter of hours, I will be forgotten_ , he told himself. Why, he didn't know. He didn't want to care, because doing it would hurt him. Fighting an already lost battle would just destroy the last few remnants of friendship, of their shared history. And still, in the back of his mind, he felt the need to justify his behaviour to .. well, himself.  
A few seconds later, he arrived at the bar, positioning himself behind and slightly to the left of the woman that caught his gaze, trying to figure out if she was wearing a wedding ring. There wasn't one, which was why he continued on with his spiel.  
" _Mademoiselle_ , is the seat next to you taken?", one could accuse him of many things, but he did refine his ways of getting along with women. His deep voice and even the sheer pronounciation of his words helped a lot with that, also worth mentioning was the fact that he stopped going all-out on the next best woman a long time ago. They usually responded quite well to that, and this one wasn't different. She let a soft chuckle and gestured invitingly towards the stool on her left. Her arm, as far as he could tell, was as much porcelain as her neck and back. She didn't wear a lot of jewellery, no rings, no necklace to distract. Nothing but a small, finely crafted silver wristlet in which a ruby was embedded.  
That was enough of an invitation for him and he graciously took the opportunity to eye her face. Her neck and back did not lie about the whole package. Actually, it didn't really seem mundane to him, more like her creator took every possible standard of beauty into consideration and forged it into this heavenly package. Her face had the shape of a heart, her brows were arched and shaped, her eyes were almond-shaped and of the purest emerald green, complemented by a small nose and full, red lips. The smell of her perfume was sweet, a soft-spoken promise of adventure and the fulfillment of one's dearest wishes. Somehow, she managed to look both youthful and mature in all the right ways at the same time. When he realised that he was staring at her, he lowered his head and his hands moved towards hers, a kiss on the hand was the only proper way to begin a conversation with such a heavenly creature.  
"May I have the honour of introducing myself, _mademoiselle_ , my name is S..", he was taken aback when she raised her hand to stop him in his tracks. With a smile on her face, she slighty shook her head.  
" _Enchantée, monsieur_.", she answered, gracefully taking a sip from the glass of wine in front of her. Her voice completed the package in an exceptional way, high and clean enough to pleasantly address his subconscious mind, but not so high that it could displease the ear or destroy the air of mystery that embraced her. Sanji finally lowered his hand as she continued to speak.  
"Stranger, don't you think that names, the names we're given, are just .. so .. boring?", she demanded to know, though paired with a smile and a voice as sweet as before. "Furthermore, I think that my days as a _mademoiselle_ are situated in a distant past.", somehow, there was nothing unfriendly about her aloof demeanour, it just made her seem like a woman with principles. " _Madame_ it is, then.", he nodded in approval, eyeing her glass filled with red wine. Even if she didn't want to share her name with him, it was something to work with. After everything that has happened throughout his life, he still was a first class cook of the sea. He turned his head to the bartender for a moment.  
"A glass of _Côte Rôtie_ , if that's possible.", the bartender nodded, giving a silent "With pleasure, sir" for an answer, filled a bordeaux glass with the liquid and handed it over. This earned him another chuckle, coming from his right.  
"A refined taste you have, stranger. Fortunately for you **and** me though, this is not a romantic dinner.", and that hit right where it hurt. Not only did she know that a wine like that was commonly served at the given occasion, but right then and there, she stopped every bit of momentum he had. And the only thing left to do was to smile and accept defeat like a gentleman.  
" _Madame_ caught me red-handed", he admitted, finally giving the wine a little sway and taking a sip. This was a lost battle, but not a reason to waste good wine. "May I ask why _madame_ would call it a fortunate condition for the both of us, though?", he didn't really know what the answer would be, but her statement was cryptic enough to arouse his interest. Also, even though he wouldn't take her to his room tonight, drinking in the company of a beautiful woman was better than drinking alone. It mildy surprised him that for the first time since he sat down, she actually looked at him with what could be interpreted as interest.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the next song was requested by a lovely young lady and has originally been written and performed by a band called 'B. Crow'. And although it's a rather uncommon request for such a happy occasion, we will comply, sending our best wishes to the young bridal pair that they may never find themselves in such a situation!", Sanji's trail of thoughts was disrupted for a second and he turned his head to where the voice was coming from. Of course they have a shitty band playing here, only the best for Nami-san., he softly shook his head. Why didn't he observe them earlier? Probably because of that easy listening shitty racket, he answered his own question and turned back to the nameless woman next to him, but she just raised a delicate finger when the band began to play the first notes.

_"5:30AM_  
_I couldn't sleep_  
_You were dancing in my dreams_  
_I woke up, and you weren't there_  
_I got up, I needed some air_  
_I walked outside and I saw the clouds_  
_Above our broken home, and I yelled_  
_Pour on rain, pour on_ "

The vocalist had a very pleasant voice, perfectly fitting a song such as that. The woman next to Sanji was actually tapping her foot in accord with the slow rhythm of it, after the first verse though and during the short acoustic transition into the next, her gaze returned to him. Still, she was nothing short of beautiful, not quite mundane, not quite celestial. _Maybe something caught in between, if she was a character in some old myth, the status of a demigoddess might have fit her_ , he contemplated. Strangely enough, even though he was fully aware of her beauty and the air of mystery surrounding her still somewhat attracted him, the first signs of infatuation were gone. As if the love cook tricked him into starting a conversation with her and leave him with his pants down, figuratively.  
"Tell me, dear stranger, and think about it before you answer: Why did you come to me?", she was still smiling that same, knowing smile she had on her lips when he first approached her, as if she somehow knew better what the real answer was than he did. And maybe that was true. His lips opened without him really thinking, but then he hesitated. She demanded of him to think about the answer. No everlasting flow of compliments and flowery language would have served him any good here. Thus, he went with the truth, _only that I don't know what the truth is._  
"The be perfectly honest, _madame_ , I'm at a loss. And .. well, I don't know if I can really grasp your question.", well, that was beautifully done, wasn't it? Out of all the answers he could have given her, he chose the one that did not only leave him exposed, but also gave the impression of him being mentally challenged.  
She surprised him again when her smile became a bit wider.  
"Take a look around, dear stranger. In this hall alone, there are plenty of women. Some comely, some beautiful, some outright stunning. I'd go as far as to say that many a man looking for corporeal beauty could try his luck here and come out successful.", he didn't need to look around to know that she was right. One of these beauties had bumped into him only a moment ago. _Is she playing some kind of game?_ , but his mind started working again. Slowly, he began to speak.  
"So, you're telling me that I did not approach you because of your beauty?", _Say that to my nakama .. my .. no, my old friends and they'll laugh at you for hours on end_. She simply nodded, moving her left hand in small circles to indicate that she wanted him to continue.  
"Pray excuse, _madame_ , but I can't see many other reasons .. or would you want me to think that it was fate?", these last words he spoke rather cautious. Talking about destiny was the same as talking about dreams. One could lose himself in these dreams and after a rude awakening, the waking world would look bleak, shattered, loveless.  
And empty.

" _Pulled out your pictures_  
_Remembered everything_  
_Oh that blue dress on new year's eve .._  
_All the good times, and all the bad_  
_Everything I wish I had back_  
_I turn on the radio to a good ol'_  
_Heartbreak song, and I yell_  
_Pour on rain, pour on .._ "

_What a shitty song request for a wedding. It's all about love and loss and sorrow, but without joy._ , he had all but forgotten that there was still a band playing. Sanji closed his eyes and lowered his face a bit, softly rubbing his forehead.  
"Forgive me, _madame_ , but I'm still not sure about what you'd like to hear from me.", he finally addressed her again, though without looking at her. When she answered, he could hear something new in her voice. Gentleness. Kindness. And appreciation.  
"Oh my, dear stranger, fate sounds so .. hm .. so definite. So absolute. And I don't think that this kind of fate really exists. Humans are not chained, there is always freedom involved. Choices. Dear stranger, everything that happened after a specific point in your life is based on your decisions. You might now be content with them or you might be cursing them, but they have always been yours. And your decisions led you to this place, no matter if you made them wittingly or not.", she took another sip of her wine, again slowly tapping her foot with the rhythm of the song.  
"There .. is this one thing that wasn't my decision, _madame_ , I never made the choice of falling for someone.", he spoke very slowly, carefully and half-drunk on memories. His mind was torn apart, half of it staying in the present, the other half still living in a distant past, when things at least felt better. One could say that he wasn't in full control of his actions anymore.  
"Many years ago, I became infatuated with a fair and beautiful girl. Infatuated at first .. I don't think that true love at first sight might have even been possible when I was younger .. and from a fair but troubled girl, she grew into the most earth shatteringly magnificent woman .. no, **being** to have ever walked this earth. My infatuation bloomed along with her, becoming .. love. But whilst she continued getting better, so much better .. so much larger than life, I .. remained static. My prowess on the battlefield grew, as did my strength .. but just looking at her, a goddess incarnate, I knew I was unworthy, would always be unworthy, no matter how hard I tried. I wasn't good enough, I am not good enough. I'd belie her in every way. Thus .. other women were the only chance I had to get in touch with her, kept falling for them because I saw .. or wanted to see one thing or the other in these women that reminded me of the goddess.", _dear God, what the hell am I doing here?!_ , his senses somewhat returned and when he fully realised that he had just opened up to a complete stranger, he felt even dumber than before. He **never** had talked about the way he felt. Not even to his nakama in the past. Sure, people always said that he was wearing his feelings on his sleeves, but that was only the superficial infatuation he developed for women and that only got stronger over the years of travelling together to drown his own feelings of being unworthy.  
To his utter astonishment though, she didn't seem to mind. There was no irritation to read on her face, the kind that you could usually see on bartenders who had to listen some random drunkard for a whole night and longer, nor confusion.

" _And I can't help but wonder_  
_Where this all went wrong .._  
_And I yell_  
_Pour on rain, pour on .._ "

"The song is close to an end, dear stranger. And I'm afraid to say that our conversation is, too, since time is short and I still have to speak to some other people. For you though, it's time to make use of that wonderful gift bestowed upon you. Make a decision. It's a marvellous time to be alive, because once more, your actions have the power to move things. You're no longer the fish, mindlessly following the current and only deciding under which rock you might find shelter. No, you arrived at the crossroads once again. You have to make a choice. Stay where you are, where you're feeling somewhat safe, or try to cross the river, reach out for dreams long forgotten and face your fear.", with these words, she rose and gave him one last smile. And the last thing he saw of her was that little tattoo above her left shoulder blade, a three-legged raven.

_I beg you, forgive me for what I'm about to do._  
_I'm not strong enough to cross the river._  
_Not alone._


	5. Commitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I shamelessly use this PoV to fill the reader in on what happened before the events of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh shit fellas, look who finally got his shit together! People (like .. four people, including myself), rejoice! I finally finished the next chapter and .. I honestly don’t know what to think about it. It’s a bit different from the chapters before and I shamelessly use the current PoV to fill you in on what happened before the story.  
> So, there’s actually a lot to say before the start. First of all, thank you. All of you who read the story, who followed it and subscribed to it and, most of all, to the friendly people who review it! I mean, damn, that’s a whole new level for me and be sure that you have my deepest, sincerest gratitude for doing that. 
> 
> And because I can, have some personal words:  
> 1\. Yoontae (on tumblr): You’ve been among the first to reblog and comment on the fiction and, if you’re still reading it, thank you. After I released the first two chapters of it, I was on the edge if I should go through with it. You pushed me over that edge.  
> 2\. EastBlue (on ffDotnet): What can I say that I haven’t already said? I dedicated the last chapter to you for a reason. Your reviews kept me going and I earnestly hope that you will enjoy this one, too. I cannot thank you enough for the kind words. Please understand that I hold you in the highest regard for sacrificing your time to write these reviews and for making my day a little brighter.  
> 3\. EsVendetta (on ffDotnet): Let me tell you, I’m a bit of a .. flimsy or non-committed writer. I don’t try to think too hard about the stories and how they should continue until somethings sparks the fire, which leads to many ideas that died before they had the chance to bloom. You know, personal life and stuff that can just become annoying. And then you casually read a review that is full of appreciation and BOOM, it’s there, the fire has been sparked again and I personally think that in that moment, my mind actually committed on finding out how to continue the story. I can’t thank you enough for that.  
> 4\. DWatson (on AO3): Holy shit, dude (or dudette), I don’t know where to start. When I read your review I was sitting in the library, actually trying to focus on work, but .. yeah, after I read it I had to go out to have a cigarette, because it just made me so damn happy that my body trembled for minutes on end. I was (and pretty much still am) at a loss for words and my English is not nearly as good enough as it should be to express the full scale of my appreciation for your kind words. 
> 
> That said, I hope everyone enjoys the following chapter.
> 
> PS: I'm looking for beta reader(s) right now, if you're interested, drop me a message.

_People who’re saying that children are a blessing should make it clear that they’re only talking about their own._ , the man told himself while he watched two of them, around the ages of 5-7 or so, running around wildly, sometimes even recklessly, playing and making a general mess of everything they came in contact with. It was easy for him to tell that one was a boy, the other one a girl, no matter how fast they were and under how many tables they crouched, hiding, finding and hunting the other. His trained eyes told him even more, not only the obvious stuff about the colours of their hair, but even that the boy had lively green eyes and a genuine, broad smile that reminded him of a certain person. The girl’s eyes were of a deep blue, and more of the thoughtful and reflective kind. As far as he could tell, and he could tell a lot, while the girl seemed to have genuine fun during their activities, she was the calm one of the duo. But the raw, youthful energy of the boy didn’t leave her with any time for second thoughts, so she just went with it.  _Well, I had to be blind to not draw certain associations with my, our own life watching this, right?_ And he certainly had a point. The boy fearlessly approached strangers and talked to them about one thing or another while the girl, rather shyly, stood in the background. But sooner or later, she would join the conversation. And the old saying that still waters run deep came true once again. The next time he watched the two of them, the girl was wildly gesticulating with her arms, as far as he could tell to describe the size of a sea king she heard a story about. No, he certainly couldn’t blame them just for being children, even moreso if you took into account that a formal wedding ceremony with a lot of strangers could also prove boring to an adult. And an adult he was, wasn’t he?  _Just minding my own business here, aye._ His thoughts were taken back into the present when he felt soft fingers gently brushing over his hand and with a smile, he turned to his right. “Is something the matter, my love?”, the blonde woman next to him whispered in his ear with her pleasant and clear voice. He could never help himself when she talked to him, when they shared even the slightest of touches. And he knew how lucky he had been that it was always her. No matter where he was, it’s always been her. Softly, he put his own hand onto hers and slighty turned his face towards his right. “See those children, Kaya? I think she’s telling that old guy and his wife stories about monsters.”, that led her to a soft chuckle. “Like the ones you always told me about, the ones you actually faced yourself?”, he nodded while his unconventionally long nose was pointing at the children like an index finger. “You want to go over there and tell them a real story, dearest?”, she continued to whisper in his ear, accompanied by a silent chuckle. “Nah, they’re young, let them hav..” – “WOW! See that nose, Mira?!”, the boy cried out in excitement when he spotted him. Or rather, his nose. With a swift move, he took his companion’s hand and without a word of parting, they left the old guy and his, supposed, wife and began their way towards Kaya and him. And the same as it was before, the little girl held herself in the background whilst the boy spoke.  _Doesn’t look like they’re siblings_ , was the last thought before the ‘confrontation’ began.   
“Do you have the longest nose in the world?! Can you smell your friends wherever they are?!”, he began to blurt out enthusiastically while still holding the girl’s hand. They seemed nice enough and the more the boy talked, the more it reminded him of that one trait that his captain had embodied all throughout his life, helping him to make fast friends with just about everyone, even with some of their enemies. Well, they came all the way over to their seats, why not give them a little show?   
He sighed dramatically, shook his head and covered his eyes. His voice was higher than usual when he started talking, as he tried to underline the fact that they somehow hurt his feelings. “I’m sure you children wouldn’t talk like that if you knew who I am!”, he began his play and Kaya leaned back into her seat, smiling all the time. Now both of the children got big eyes as it, of course, wasn’t their intention to hurt someone’s feelings, but again, only the boy spoke. “We’re very sorry, mister! Really!”, he said in an apologetic tone that made it even harder for the man not to smile. He had to play a role, for God’s sake! That’s when he let out another sigh but nevertheless grabbed two empty chairs next to them which he pulled towards him. “You’re really sorry, is that so? Sit down, kids. I feel that you deserve a treat.”, surprisingly enough, the young boy was quick to oblige, occupying one of the chairs. His companion still held back, though, looking at him with these big, blue eyes. That was enough to force a smile onto his lips and he softly spoke to her. “I don’t bite, little princess. You might not know it, but I’m the great grandson of a famous knight of the seas. His name was Sogeking and he was born on the mythical Sniper Island. On my life and my good name, that one being Usopp, I would never harm a young girl.”, and something in his smile did seem to move her. Even though she remained quiet, she placed herself on the chair next to the young boy who, figuratively, rushed to her defense. “Mira doesn’t talk a lot, mister, and ..”, being as oblivious as only a child could be, he leaned forward to whisper into his ear. Of course, this would still be loud enough for even Kaya to hear and would have been considered incredibly impolite, but the girl didn’t seem to mind. “She’s sad that her .. her parents are planning to move away from our village.”, the cheerfulness in his voice was gone in that moment and Usopp had the feeling that the thought alone hurt the little boy more than he was ready to admit. Somehow, it stung.   
Usopp slowly raised his hand and softly padded the boy on the shoulder, not even trying to return the whisper as to be sure that Mira might hear it, too.   
“Don’t you worry about it, young friend. Friendship, true friendship, knows no bounds. Neither distance nor time apart will diminish what you have..”, unconsciously, his eyes left the boy’s face and wandered through the ballroom, only stopping when they found a familiar form in the crowd.  _Alone, but not forgotten. Silent, but not unheard. A knight is a knight, even fallen from grace, far away from all he ever cherished and loved_ ., he slightly shook his head again and felt a shiver running down his spine. Kaya must have felt it, too, as her fingers gently brushed over his. He didn’t need to look at her to know that she was smiling her signature smile, the one that made him happy and gave him strength at the same time.   
“Are you alright, mister?”, the boy asked with a concerned look on his face. Even the little girl, Mira, looked at him with big, blue eyes, but remained silent. “It’s .. yeah, it’s alright, young friend. What’s there to be worried about? My great grandfather has been an invincible warrior of the seas, and this runs in the family!”, he let go of the boys shoulder and leaned back a little, trying to look all smug and confident.   
“Will you tell us a story about your grandfater?”, the boy asked and a few seconds ago, he would’ve answered with a clear ‘yes’. But there was another story that needed to be told, a far more important one for the occasion. His time in the limelight was made for another story, maybe even told by a different author.   
“I’m going to tell you a story about my grandfather’s companions, all great and noble ladies and fearless warriors in their own right!”, he began and bound the attention of both children and Kaya to his words. And the attention of a fourth person, without even knowing that there was one. “A long, long time ago, somewhere out on the vastness of the ocean, there had been a small but happy kingdom. But that’s nothing special, right? Well, let me tell you that it was a special kind of kingdom, a moving kingdom! People all over the world called it the Moving Kingdom of Sunny! You don’t believe me? Just ask anyone, they’ll tell you that everything is true! So, this moving kingdom was ruled by a young king who went by the name of .. eh .. Gruffy! Yes, that was the king’s name and his crown had a peculiar form, it was shaped like a hat! I bet that you’ve never seen a crown that looks like a hat, haven’t you? But they exist, even though they’re incredibly rare! So, this king .. Gruffy, he was young and full of energy and, I tell you that, he had an incredible love for food. If you would’ve met him, you would think that he loved nothing more than to eat. But, sorry to disappoint, you’d be wrong about that. He loved all of his subjects unconditionally and his closest friends, my great grandfather Sogeking was one of them, he loved even more than that, close to life itself! Can you imagine that?”, he waited for a second and saw rather confused faces in front of him. “You don’t need to go too far, kids. Just look at yourselves. It’s just like your friendship! King Gruffy would gladly have taken any fight to protect his friends, with little to no regard for his own safety, so much did he love them. One was a beautiful and young princess who went by the name of ..”,  _Well, they’re kids, but I assume that they’re not dumb .. so .. what?_ , he took a small break to think of another name that wouldn’t give away too much “Rami! Yes, the fiery princess was called Rami and let me tell you, she was incredibly clever. A genius, one could say, and she would always know what weather was to come! And besides that, she was a formidable warrior princess and her foes feared her, but they also admired her beauty, especially her fiery red hair that led many a man to fall in love at first glance. But she wasn’t the only close friend of King Gruffy, who had all but adopted her, of course. Two of his other friends were rather young knights, but despite their young age, they did cast the shadows of giants. The first was called Loro and he was a warrior of unmatched prowess, so legendary was his skill that the people of the Kingdom of Sunny called him a sword saint! And then there was the other knight, a fine and peerless warrior in his own right with hair as bright as the sun and a good heart to match that colour. His name was .. Janji? Yeah, Janji it was, .. I think!”, he paused for a second and took a good look at the children’s faces. They seemed to be rather captivated by the beginning of his story, maybe the boy was dreaming the same dream as countless other boys? Being a knight, a warrior of the sea, defending the weak and fighting the good fight? It surprised him a little that even the shy girl was smiling adorably, maybe beneath her taciturn facade, there were still dreams about being a princess?  _In a few years, she might look the part_ .   
“Hahaha, these two knights .. oh, I .. I mean, my grandfather told me unbelievable stories about their rivalry, you wouldn’t believe that. Even the giants of the legendary island of Elbaf knew about them! But I tell you, their rivalry was nothing too serious, as they were brothers in all but name. To be precise, all of them were a family in all but blood, like the two of you. You care deeply about one another, right? It was the same with them. The good King Gruffy even allowed his bard, a man so thin that everyone called him ‘Skellyman’, to sit at the same table all the other nobles and friends used to feast. He was a dear friend and the whole world should see it. All of them were bonded to each other with ties as strong as to the closest family. And .. maybe even a little more. My granddad always said that the knight, Janji that is, was incredibly infatuated with princess Rami and tried to win her favour countless of times. He courted her in every way imaginable, left large bouquets of the rarest and most beautiful flowers for her to find and, oh, he was heavenly gifted when it came to that, he cooked her food that even the God’s would drool about! I kid you not, .. I mean, my granddad told me that the food he made was just so perfect in every way that one could imagine. And you know what the best thing about that was? The fiery princess Rami slowly warmed up to the knight and theirs was a friendship, maybe even more than that, that many a bard would write songs about. I mean, she never confessed any feelings towards him, but the way she behaved .. oh, that’s a whole other story. You know, kids, the thing with the best, or at least the most captivating stories is that they need a problem. A huge problem. And exactly that arrived on one fateful day that none of them would ever be able to forget. I'll tell you the story my great grandfather told to my granddad.."

* * *

 

_We were chasing the beast for nearly five days straight, and it showed. First, we began to run low on food, only a little later our water supplies were fading away. On the fourth day, everybody was regretting that we had even started this hunt. Even worse was the fact that everywhere around us, there was water to find. But the inhabitants of the nearby village had warned us not to drink it, as it would turn people into what they called 'Aberrations' sooner or later, and there was no known treatment. We actually saw one of these Aberrations. There were clear traces of it having once been a human, though viciously malformed. That one was dead, otherwise there wouldn't have been a chance to get a closer look. And the human traces were .. dubious, to be fair. It had the same four limbs – that looked rather forcefully elongated - that humans possessed and with a lot of good will, you could say that the face could've belonged to a human, too. With four eyes of a milky white colour, so that one might have thought them blind. That specimen even had human hair on its head which made it all the more creepy and surreal._

_But the captain (_ "Sorry, the King", he corrected himself) _had given his promise that we would not return – I would've agreed with that since the village was boring, anyway – nor rest (I really wasn't content with that) until we had found and run down that terrible beast they were all talking about. Nobody could say how it looked like as there had never been any survivors, nobody knew how it would fight. But the villagers – and us, too – knew that it existed._

_The whole area we were running through had actually been really pleasant and easy on the eyes. The forest canopy was thick and only a little sunlight (or moonlight, since we didn't stop the chase even during the nighttime) made its way through, but everything looked just so peaceful with the dimmed light, the still water and the silent trees. Even the resident fauna was as silent and non-malicious as it could be. The few animals we spotted in the trees usually just took a look of slight interest at us and ran away right after. No giant cats or other predators were running rampant. Even though we somehow wished for just .. anything to happen. And eating the meat of a carnivore wasn't something we had never done before._

_Still, thirst and hunger and not knowing if – or when – the Abarrations would finally attack us wasn't our worst enemy. See, when we entered the area through a long path that lead away from the village, we were greeted by .. something that sounded awfully like a wailing_ _**song,** _ _with no singer being around. At least none that one could see. The 'song' itself, if you could call it that, somehow was eerily pleasant, though. It didn't make our ears bleed nor did it have an immediate effect on our sanity. And at first, even for the first hours .. the first two days, it didn't get intrusive. But imagine listening to the very same song, one that didn't even have words, but only wailing, for five days straight. Five days in which you have been running, chasing some .. thing that you basically knew nothing about. Your supplies run low and the only thing that kept you going was the inhuman stamina of your body and the sheer force of an indomitable will. That was just .. bound to take a heavy toll on you. Next to the King and myself, there were four more of us. Rami, the fiery princess, Janji, who continually proclaimed to protect her as it would befit a knight, Loro, who just wanted nothing more than to slay the beast and sleep for two weeks straight and, as our last companion, the bard they called Skellyman. Oh, don't worry, even though singing and playing the violin was his area of expertise, he was a formidable fighter in his own right. The six of us should have been enough to perish everything short of a god._

_We were wrong._

_When the sun arose on the sixth day, we found what we were looking for. And, dear gods, I wish we never did. We thought that we cornered the beast in its cave and the King and his two faithful knights were itching for a fight. Happy to leave everything, especially that .. that_ _**terrible** _ _song behind! And son, when it finally came to blows, everything seemed just normal, everyday practice. That beast looked like a giant toad, but with only two legs. As I said, nothing out of the orderly, right? The King, his knights, even the princess, the bard and me went all out when coming face to face with the beast. At least we thought that it was face to face. But the monster’s skin was incredibly sturdy though and not even with our forces combined were we able to damage it._

_What happened then, we took for a good sign. It wasn't. All of a sudden, the song vanished and everyone froze. Just .. being in silence was a relief. But then the toad opened what we thought was its mouth and .. oh gods, two giant, lanky green arms seemed to sprout from it, tearing the 'mouth' open even wider. Beneath all that sturdy skin,_ _**there was a face! And with an utterly inhuman voice that was as deep as the vast ocean, it GROANED!** _

* * *

 

Not only did Usopp try to recreate the deep, stoneshattering groan that all of them heard, but also the face that was lying underneath the sturdy skin. With questionable success, one might add. The two kids just looked at him and at each other in confusion while Kaya chuckled softly. 

"Ah, well .. okay, it just looked scary, trust me!"

* * *

 

_He was right. The face under that dark green skin was green aswell, even though of a lighter tone, just like the arms it had used to tear its own skin away. It looked like .. the giant, wrinkled face of an incredibly old woman, but without eyes and teeth, mouth – a second mouth, if you want - wide open. Just human enough that one might draw the association, but just so inhuman on the other hand that it even shook the fearless hearts of the King and his knights. And that was all the time it .. and_ _**they** _ _needed. Countless of the beasts that were known as Aberrations had arrived, no longer dormant as the song had become silent. They moved inhumanly fast and swarmed us, within seconds our offensive had died and we were in full retreat._

_Everyone fought valiantly, the King, myself, the princess, his knights, even the bard. There were countless beasts, but we were warriors of renown! .. and thinking that, forgetting about the giant toad itself, didn't help our cause. Not in the slightest. As I told you, son, we were in full retreat when the beasts started their vicious attack. We retreated towards the entrance of the cave which was so slim that only two people were able to walk side by side, the others had to move after them. And it just was swarming with them .. oh, you poor knight._

_The King and Loro took the lead, fighting off every single Aberration that was coming from the front, the princess and myself were in the middle as both of our weapons required some space between us and the foe while the knight Janji and the Skellyman guarded our rear. To be honest with you, I .. I don't know what happened. All I know is that Janji stumbled, that he fell to the ground and .. within just a few seconds, they were upon him. Three of the beasts, maybe four, trying to claw out his heart, his eyes .. foul teeth gnawing on his limbs in ravenous hunger .. and it took him and us just too long to get rid of them._

_Don’t get me wrong, in that very moment, all of us failed. The princess and I were too slow in helping the knight to get rid of the beasts and poor Skellyman was on his own against the ever growing tide of new beasts arriving. We .. we should have been faster. Could have been faster, but we weren’t. None of us knew it, but every action we had taken since our arrival on the island was an action to dig the graves for our collective dreams._

_The onslaught of beasts seemed unending, the ones that befell Janji were still there and we were in danger of losing him. And if there was any rule we tried to live by, it was that no one should ever be left behind. He cried out in pain when fangs tore apart the flesh of his limbs, but he was still fighting. He had an oath to uphold. The princess wept bitter tears as she struck down lightning on the beasts and myself, I shouted. Shouted for my father to watch over me, prayed for him to acknowledge his son as a true warrior and worthy heir to Sniper Island. It was all for naught._

_By now, the beasts were nearly upon us and the Skellyman fought at the absolute height of his skill. That thin man that people could mistake for a skeleton fought with the ire and prowess of a god of war, but it wasn’t enough. The second he cut down another of these Aberrations, it was already too late. The princess and I disposed of the last beast that was clinging to Janji’s body, but he was all but incapacitated. Still conscious, though, he told us to leave him behind as they might stop the pursuit if they had the opportunity to feed on him. But neither the King, his brother-in-arms, the bard, myself and, least of all, the princess Rami would allow that._

_It was then that our obliviousness concerning the giant toad beast broke our backs. A long arm of a light green colour appeared out of nowhere, rushing through the darkness of the entrance and a gigantic, mighty hand grabbed the body of the princess, willing to take her with it for reasons that I don’t even want to think about. The young knight cried out in terror as he wasn’t able to protect her, I myself was struck aside by the unexpected force behind that arm and nearly lost consciousness. The King and the sword saint wanted to help, but they couldn’t, as the countless number of Abberations grew even larger and, although they had their powers combined, it became increasingly difficult to fend them off._

_That was the moment the heroic bard made a decision._

_He began hacking away at the arm and drew the ire of this centuries old monster .. or demon onto himself. His elegant and slender blade cut deep into its flesh, but that only poured fuel into the fire. Under the helpless shouts of the knight, he managed to break the princess free. But oh, at what cost?_

_The beast had two arms._

_And he was inhumanly calm when the second one came out of the shadows and took a hold of his body. I vividly remember his last words, son, a sign of true companionship .. true nakamaship, compassion, loyalty and honour. His last words were those of a hero that shall never be forgotten._

_With a bitter smile, he gazed at the young knight._

“ _Let this be my turn, Janji. I have lived long enough. Allow me to take your place, just this once. So that you have the chance to be there for her, come the light of a new morning. Yohohoho!”_

_And thus, he vanished into darkness without a trace._

* * *

 

“You have to understand the gravity of this situation, children. No one wanted to leave him behind and they tried to turn around to rescue the bard, but it was all for naught. Wave after wave of Abberations crashed into them and they were forced out of the cave, and not even the righteous, selfdestructive ire of the King could stand against a whole world that had so quickly become hostile. And to make matters worse, immediately with the vanishing of the bard, the whole island began to .. sink. King Gruffy had to make one of the most difficult and painful decisions in his entire life. Save his crew .. I mean, his people and break his oath or sacrifice all of them and let the heroic sacrifice of his bard go into nothingness.”, Usopp didn’t care for the tears that filled his eyes, nor for the trembling of his body. It was all too vivid.

“But .. it all worked out in the end, didn’t it? It’s not a good story unless it has a happy end!”, the eyes of the children were watery, too. They didn’t fully grasp the concept of the bard’s heroic sacrifice, but they understood friendship and duty towards one another all too well.

“I .. I must admit that I don’t know about that. All of us .. I mean, all of my great grandfather’s companions were shaken and lost sight of their dreams, remaining a shattered, aimless bunch of misfits .. but maybe it’ll make you happy that some of them were able to find meaning in their lives? Maybe even happiness.”

“I don’t like that. And neither does Mira!”, the boy proclaimed, unconsciously clinging on to the hand of his friend as if she provided him with energy.

“They .. they lived, at least. Though the King lost his crown and within a few years, the Kingdom of Sunny was no more .. Loro began pursueing the remnants of his dream on his own, my great grandfather returned to Sniper Island to find comfort in the arms of his queen..”, he squeezed Kayas hand to ease the trembling of his body. “.. and the princess and her knight .. I don’t know if you’d understand it. He swore an oath to always be there to protect her .. and the one single time he failed, a dear friend paid with his life. The whole image that San- .. the knight had carefully constructed of himself was shattered in a single moment. He told himself that he disappointed everyone and finally, he too left what remained of the kingdom. I don’t know what has become of him, maybe an aimless knight errant, but I dearly hope that he found himself when he travelled alone.”, again, he broke eye-contact with the boy and his gaze wandered to where the familiar form was found before. 

And there he was, still standing, still alive but not whole again, watching his image in the corner of a large mirror that was fastened to a wall. Usopp couldn’t help himself but to imagine this man, this knight with hair as bright as the sun, as a burdened, broken man, clad in old-fashioned armor, his hand chained to a past and a princess he was desperately trying to forget. 

“I hope that some day, all of us .. but especially the knight will answer the call again. To face our decisions and try to make them right again. Or .. at least find the strength to live with them.”, he didn’t care about the words he chose. After all, it was **their** story.

What happened after that immediately reached the bottom of his heart. An astounding show of innate human goodness and the sometimes flawless perception of .. a pure-hearted and caring child. This scene alone would leave him in absolute awe for days to come, fondest memory and living prove that humans, even if their existence was without a higher purpose, still wished to help one another.

It was the young girl, Mira, who let go of her friend’s hand and stood up from her chair, slowly, even a bit clumsily following the path of Usopp’s gaze until she finally reached the lonely knight.

_Sanji .._

He wasn’t aware of her until she grabbed his hand. Seconds passed before he understood and knelt down to talk to her. Or .. not. There weren’t enough words in the entire world to even come close to one simple, kind-hearted gesture. That shy girl of few words embraced the graceless knight and his eyes began to fill with tears of gratitude.

_Maybe not all is lost. Maybe there is still hope .._

He turned around when he heard someone standing up, mixed with .. what sounded like the rustling of a bird’s feathers, but there was no one to be found, except Kaya who still held his hand. If one asked him later, he would say that he heard a voice too, neither male nor female, ethereal, speaking only in whispered words. 

“There’s no need to talk to this one, he has what it takes.”

Kaya smiled at him, but her eyes were watery. 

“I want you to chase your dreams, my love .. make usproud. You know that I’ll be yours, forever.”, she whispered, embracing him to share a kiss so tender that he felt it everywhere on his body. 

And then, she gently put his hand on her stomach.

_Make .._ _**us** _ _proud?!_

 


	6. Old Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More backstory and terrible musings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here and I'm straight up disappointed with it. Yeah, it's lackluster and the reason for that is most likely that I'm not AS emotionally invested in the characters this time, but I needed to get it out anyway because I wasn't able to make any progress on the story at all. I hope you have fun and can find it in your heart to forgive me.

**Chapter 4 - Old Ties**

_We've had enough_

_This is the end_

_Try to break us, we won't bend_

_No matter what_

_Your way of life will never save me, no_

 

_You always try and drag me down_

_I WON'T LET GO_

_And I'm coming back for more_

_Save yourself_

_Cause I'm gonna take it all_

_All the way_

 

**Striker – All the way**

 

"That's some awesome mane, bro!", the moment the man turned around to see who was taking to him, he had to smile. As was the usual, the guests at this wedding were dressed up for the occasion. After all, the heir to a wealthy and venerable family got married to a beautiful wife. Almost nobody gave a second thought to her questionable past, anyway. In fact, many people belonging to the island's high society solely arrived to strengthen their bonds with said family. This one, not so much. Not that it was a surprise, as this man's past would have given the average person cause for enough concern to fill a lifetime.

"I'm taking a wild guess here, but I'd bet my life on you belonging to the bride's family.", the stranger replied with a smirk. Some things were just too obvious. And the huge .. man replied in kind, crossing his massive arms in front of his chest. Actually, he struck a comically serious pose that just begged for a reaction. He didn't have to wait for long, as several children immediately cried out in collective awe.

To be perfectly honest, they rightfully did so. The man's proportions weren't entirely human and at first glance, one might have asked how his rather slender legs were able to support an upper body that was so wide and muscular, it could've put a smaller giant to shame. The next moment, the person asking said question might have recognised that these lank legs were supported by what might have been steel. The questions wouldn't have ended there. One could only see that his legs were supported by some machinery made of steel because he didn't wear any pants but a red bathing slip, appropriately coloured to match his Hawaiian shirt of a ground of red, adorned with green palm trees.

Maybe there was a reason to all of this, maybe he just wore it loose and open to put his impressive, muscular chest in the spotlight, or the two fine but incredibly long scars that ran from within his bathing slip up to his neck.

He let a few seconds pass until he lowered his arms – they, too, seemed to be made of steel, not only supported by it – and nodded solemnly.

"You'd have won this bet, bro. Wouldn't be cool to stay absent when my little sis is getting married, right?", well, one could say whatever about this huge man, but at least he had enough manners not to wear his black sunglasses within these halls. The stranger nodded, still smirking. "That's absolutely right. It's her big day, isn't it? I hope that she's taking the pressure well enough.", these words made the huge man break out in a booming laughter that might have raised the dead. At least, some angry people turned their heads towards the two and quickly came to their senses when they saw the sheer size of his upper body.

"You don't know my little sis, man! She's as tough as nails, I promise you! Gotta be sharp to match the storms on the Grand Line, bro. Girl's been without equal, I tell you, she was able to outsmart friend and foe alike and was riding our ship on top of the storms like she never did anything else in her whole life.", a rather dramatic pause followed and when he spoke again, he exchanged his booming voice for a whisper. "It's a shame that she's giving up this life to settle down, if you ask me.", realising what he just said and that he said it to a stranger who might as well be a relative of the groom, an awkward silence followed.

"Ehm .. no offence to the broom, bro.", the huge man tried to defuse the situation a little. To no need, as it turned out, as another player hit the stage.

"FRANKY!", the high voice was fitting for another contender for the title of oddest guest to this wedding. In fact, one could say that these two guys, some might consider them freaks at such an elevated event, were hitting both diametrically opposed ends of the weirdness scale. Surprisingly enough, that didn't stop ties that might have been long forgotten, but never severed, from coming back in full force when their eyes met.

“Oh .. I can’t believe it! It’s really you, Chopper!”, both ‘men’, if one could call them that, were moving towards each other and an unknowing bystander might have feared that if that huge man tried to hug the .. reindeer that walked on two legs, he might have crushed him. That fear would’ve been proven insubstantial, though. For reasons that are not easy to explain.

When the two reached each other, the reindeer .. changed, for lack of a better word. Wearing fur, it didn’t have the need for clothing besides short trousers and a huge hat. This was probably to ease the difficulties of said change. The reindeer that went by the name of ‘Chopper’ was relatively small, so small indeed that its antlers might barely be able to reach the thighs of a human of normal height. Within a second though, possibilities were thrown out of the window and a magnificent transformation took place.

Within the blink of an eye, the small and rather cute reindeer was no more, it had been replaced by a hulking bruiser of a .. very hairy man. Its body was completely changed, the reindeer’s small forelegs had grown into strong arms that were able to put trained legs to shame, the entire upper body resembled that of a – hairy – body builder and even its face had changed. Surprisingly enough, it was more humanoid after the transformation, a grim, hairy visage that might have given the impression of it being the precursor to what people thought of mythical monsters like the Big Foot, full of inhuman strength. That strength, though, was necessary as the following scene emphasised.

Both ‘men’ threw their arms around each other and embraced the other in what doubtlessly was an emotionally charged hug. The muscles on the man-reindeer’s arms were clearly showing as they seemed to have a little brotherly contest regarding strength. This contest was short-lived, as they realised that their forces evenly matched and both men finally let go, staring at each other in a mixture of disbelief and happiness.

“Hrmpf. Friends of the bride, I guess? Somebody should have taken the time to teach these .. people proper manners! No surprise, huh, Father? Given that we barely know anything about her past.”, the voice was raised from slightly behind the man and he turned around, a knowing smile on his lips. The complainer was a well-dressed man of advanced age, wearing a tailored, black suit and receding, greyish-white hair. A pair of gold-rimmed spectacles was sitting on his nose and the face he made was full of disdain. Talking to this man might have been an interesting pastime, but the clock was ticking.

“Actually, they’re her family. That, and I fear that I might not have the capacities to talk to you right now, pray excuse.”, then, something very strange seemed to happen. They were both looking at each other and without any sign of alteration, all colour left the older man’s face and his eyes widened. Whatever he had seen in the stranger’s timeless face, it did make a lasting impact on him. To no surprise, he was the one to break away.

“’cuse me, Father. Think the wine’s getting to my head. Beg my leave.”, the man bumbled and left his presence within seconds, quickly enough to not have been noticed by the cyborg and the reindeer. By now, both of them were on their way back to the man, Franky having slung an arm over the equally muscular shoulders of the man-reindeer.

“Oi Bro, let me introduce the greatest physician on the Grand Line and all the Blues to you, Doctor Chopper!”, the compliment resonated visibly with the doctor, even though in a hilarious and unconventional manner. He _danced_ rather childishly and his muscular arms wavered as if they had neither bones nor muscle inside, all the while he spoke with a shy, high voice.

“I don’t need your stinking compliments, you idiot!”, but the cyborg didn’t stop there.

“I’m not lying to you, bro. You’ve got your limbs cut off? He’ll sew and glue them back on, you’ve caught some random disease on a remote island? This guy will nurse you back to health and won’t catch a second of sleep until you’re alive and kicking again, I literally haven’t seen anything he wasn’t able to cure!”, even though the stream of compliments continued, the reindeer-man’s dance ceased and sobriety replaced happiness.

“I wish you were right, Franky. No matter how hard we try and tried, no matter how many lives one can save, there will always be the one you fail to do anything. The one that’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.”, as it happens so often within these lines, the general mood of the reunion turned into a gloomy one, at least for the reindeer. His friend, though, was showing an incensed look on his face.

“Goddamn, Chopper! You’re a physician, you cure people’s ailments and heal their bodies, a damn broken heart isn’t something that you can nurse back to health with some tonics and medicine!”, Franky finally let go of his old friend and they were giving each other a sombre stare-down. Whatever it was, it seemed to be bringing back memories that should have better remained buried. Or not.

“You’re right, it was not my task alone to mend his heart. As you said, I’m just a physician, but we were family! Their family! I .. I just have the feeling that none of us tried hard enough to comfort these two in their hour of need. Franky, .. we just .. we just could have done more. So. Much. More.”, the man-reindeer had great difficulties holding his tears back, so much was obvious. A rather peculiar sight in the face of something that might have been the reason that humans believed in monsters that hid in the woods. It was just as surprising that the cyborg had his own tears to fight.

“Just remember the times, bro. The situation was terrible overall and we couldn’t have done more, and it was his decision to leave with all the ghosts he gathered to weight him down over the years. Maybe it was right, maybe we were not destined or considered worthy to follow these big dreams of ours. I don’t know, I don’t even want to know! All of us are free now, are we not?! Still, nothing has become of it! Just look at the two of us, we thought that our sheer combined will was enough to reach our goals. What now? We left Sunny on her own, as the only one never to disappoint us. She might as well be sunk right now. So much for my glorious dream.”, this time, there was no stopping the tears. That, and he didn’t even try.

“I know that, Franky! I know that we left her behind. I have not forgotten a single line of everything. And you’re not the only one with shattered wishes! I wanted to be able to battle every illness on the whole world, but look at what has become of me. I’m just sitting around on an island and try to do my best to help the people, but there is just so much that I don’t know, so many ways to cure sickness that I’ll never learn because I don’t travel anymore!”, an awkward silence followed the conversation and both of them were still staring at each other. The perfect time for the stranger to join in.

He cleared his throat to get their attention.

“So .. you two seem to be having a history of travelling together, if I take that right. It also seems that you’re not exactly happy with how things are now, but, if I may, let me ask this one question: What’s holding you back from going back to how things were? Both of you are still young and strong enough to take to the seas again.”, contrary to the overarching mood, the stranger still held a firm smile on his lips, watching the both of them, and they answered at once.

“Because we’re not whole anymore. We can never be whole again.”

“That’s not exactly precise. Would you mind to elaborate?”

It was Chopper who took the initiative.

“It’s kind of a long story, are you sure? Yes? Well .. I mean, it all kinda began with .. with the heroic sacrifice of one of our _nakama_ , he gave his own life to save others, one of them being the bride herself”, whatever he was waiting for, astonishment or maybe a shock, didn’t appear, thus, he continued.

“Brook’s final .. death was what triggered our breaking. Another friend told me that he took his demise right on, stared into the abyss until the abyss shied away. To help, to support his family one last time. He couldn’t have known that it was in vain.”, the reindeer turned his head around for a short scan of the surroundings, an easy task due to his massive size. When he found what he was looking for, a shiver ran down his spine and within the blink of an eye, he transformed again. Back to his old, small form that could have reminded people of a fluffy teddy bear, grabbing for the cyborg’s leg, barely controlled excitement accompanied his voice.

“He’s here, Franky! Have you seen him? Spoken to him? Do you think he’d be willing to .. maybe?!”, but the delight didn’t pass over to the cyborg who had followed his gaze and was now shaking his head in a slow fashion.

“Don’t think so, Chopper. Don’t think so. See, bro, blondie over there ..”, he nodded into Sanji’s general direction before he continued, “.. he’s a .. special case. He was one of the last people to leave our crew, but the first one to .. to break away from it. So, before we continue with our little story, you might want to tell us if you belong to Nami’s side or her groom’s. Can’t remember ever meeting you, but that means nothing, right?”, he was watching the stranger carefully, only to interrupt it from time to time by looking at Chopper and the back of Sanji’s head.

“Oh, I’m no one of consequence, the literal unexpected guest, if you grant me that joke. To whom I belong is a rather complicated question, I admit, but let’s just say that I grant allegiance to those who have lost their way.”, that was neither a precise answer nor had anyone asked for mysticism, but not belonging to the groom’s side did seem to be enough.

“Alright, Mr. Mysterious Stranger, that’s good enough, I assume. Well, after .. Brook’s end, my friends finally made it back to our ship and we were reunited, but blondie was bleeding from more than a dozen deep wounds and .., he nearly lost it during treatment. Really wasn’t a nice sight at all .. especially not for _her_.”

 

 

_The last few days had been rough and nobody really talked to one another. Understandably, taking the into account that they had just lost a member of their small crew to some ancient, pelagic abomination. Nobody had been able to help him and trying to retrieve him had been proven vain, as the whole island was swallowed by water as soon as the group had reached their ship._

_They wanted to come back in force. To rescue, to save or even to avenge him. All that was taken from the Straw Hats when the island was engulfed by mighty waves and torn back into the deep as mythical Atlantis was. Midnight was upon them when Chopper entered the infirmary to look after his one patient. A dozen wounds from sharp teeth and claws had not rendered him as feeble as the single thought that because he had failed for once, another was lost. Guilt’s weight was lying upon his shoulders and dragged him down, seemingly taking his ability to speak at all._

“ _Are you feeling better today, Sanji?”, the reindeer asked while putting his stethoscope on, but he never received an answer. As was the usual for the blonde cook since their return. He had his eyes closed and was lying still, bandages covering his limbs, his throat and his chest. Chopper quickly went through the check list and wasn’t surprised to realise that the wounds were already healing, blood pressure was normal again and his fear that he might have caught an infection was put aside. The Monster Trio, so much was a given, was barely human anymore, their wounds used to heal as quickly as those of a forest’s beast._

_The doctor already wanted to pack his tools and leave Sanji to rest, when the patient finally opened his lips to speak in a voice that was robbed of all its strength._

“ _We’re going after him .. right?”, Chopper feared that he might ask this question. The thought appeared to all of them as soon as they arrived back on the Sunny, but the ship’s coating was used up and there were no streams in the nearest vicinity that would be strong enough to drag her down. Franky tried to figure something out, but, as of now, to no avail._

“ _I hope.”, was the answer Chopper gave, staring at the ground he was standing on. Sanji’s mental condition was out of his area of expertise, though he was sure that telling him outright that the chances of even getting revenge on that monster were so slim, they could be called non-existant. The doctor didn’t want to be the messenger of these grim news, actually he didn’t want anyone to bring them, as he feared that it would break Sanji completely._

“ _I need a cigarette.”, there, Chopper made his first mistake. If the situation was not as dire as it turned out to be, he would’ve beaten Sanji for the thought of a cigarette alone. This time, he granted him the request, a fact that didn’t go unnoticed. The cook placed the small, white coffin nail between his lips and incinerated it, invigorated either by the smoke or his assumptions. His voice was louder now, leaving his mouth with more force and suppressed rage._

“ _So, there’s not a chance in Hell we’re able to get him back?!”, the sudden surge of power that found its way into his voice was enough to startle Chopper, nearly making him fall to the ground. He held his balance, for the moment._

“ _That’s not what I said, Sanji. There is always hope!”, he replied, raising his voice in kind but still remaining in his fluffy form. Things might have escalated quickly otherwise. Nobody could have said how this situation would evolve and nobody needed to, as a sudden knocking on the infirmary’s door brought silence on both of them. Only a moment later, said door was opened and the frame was filled by the massive upper body that belonged to the cyborg. He wasn’t alone, though, as slender legs followed behind, entering the room just after him._

_It wasn’t Franky’s voice that was raised in an accusing fashion, targeting nobody in particular but Sanji and Chopper both._

“ _Why is he smoking?! Who allowed that?”, her voice .. oh, her voice. In literally any other time, it would have elevated Sanji into the highest heavens, soothing wounds, sickness and even an over-abundance of death. Not this time, though. Just hearing her voice was a reminder that he had failed. If everything went according to his plan, to sacrifice himself to the eldritch abominations found deep within the island, Brook would still be living. He should have been the one who to make the ultimate sacrifice. One simple act of honour and love for the goddess and his true family._

_Yet, he was still here to listen to her voice, while Brook was not. The fates had decided to sculpt the most wonderful sound in the entire world into a living reminder of his failure. Sometimes, all it needed was a moment to burn down an entire lifetime of faithfully doing your duty. In his own mind, Chopper knew as much, Sanji had always styled himself as the knight that would conquer Hell for his goddess and give his life in the moment of need._

_Even though no one but him cared or even noticed that fact, it didn’t matter. He knew of his failure. His image was shattered when they dragged him out of the tunnels. His purpose was denied when he had to listen to Brook’s signature laughter for the last time._

“ _Franky .. when will we be able to hunt down that beast?”, it surprised all three of them that he didn’t talk to Nami first. A sign for the terrible things that should haunt the crew for the rest of their time together, some of them being affected long after they split up._

“ _Bro, you’re not in the condition to hunt anything other than a bed. Get rested and we’ll figure something out, don’t worry.”, Franky’s usual optimism was as faux as it could be, and anybody knew. Yet he still tried._

_The cook was about to raise his upper body, maybe even wanted to stand up to do whatever, but he was stopped in his tracks by a force so much stronger than all the physical strength he had acquired over the years._

_The gentle touch of the woman he loved with all his heart, all that was him._

“ _Don’t, Sanji-kun. Franky is right, please, rest a little.”, he closed his eyes as opposing powers fought for dominion over his body. On one side, the fierce and fiery love he felt for the goddess by his side, on the other one, though, the knight that had fallen from grace. The knight that had to face his failure every day, until his last breath. The problem was that both his love and the graceless knight drew strength from Nami’s presence, but only one of them was nourished by his survivor’s guilt._

_Many would have fallen in the face of chaos. But not this one. Not today._

_The blonde’s body calmed under her gentle touch and he let himself sink back into the pillows, all the time struggling for control. Nami herself was exchanging short glances with Chopper and Franky, both of them got the clue._

“ _Nami .. may I leave you two for a little while? I need to fix some ointments for the wounds, otherwise they’re still going to leave very ugly scars.”_

“ _Yeah, and I’ll try my best to see the ship being coated or otherwise able to dive again. That’s going to take some time, I guess. See ya later, bro.”, Franky said as he held the door open for Chopper before both of them left the room. Outside, though, they went a few steps away from the infirmary and quietly began talking to each other._

“ _You think cook-bro, will make it, doc?”_

“ _Yes, Sanji is inhumanly strong, these wounds won’t stop him for long. He’ll be ready to fight again very soon.”, Chopper replied, taking the obvious path that made it necessary for Franky to specify his question._

“ _Not his injuries, man. You know what I’m talking about. Have you seen his eyes? They’re empty, there’s no fire in there anymore. It’s like his will to live has been taken away instead of Brook!”, before the conversation could run rampant, though, Chopper raised his hoof._

“ _Shh, they’re talking. Nami might be the only person able to bring him back from where he is right now. Maybe we should just put our trust in her and do whatever we can to support it?”, the reindeer’s fine sense of hearing wasn’t stopped by the infirmary’s thick, wooden door. An advantage he had over the mechanically enhanced body of Franky. The cyborg nodded and slowly approached the door for the off-chance of hearing parts of their conversation himself, but to no avail._

“ _You sure they'll be able to work something out?”, he asked again after returning to chopper, lowering his voice as much as possible. If the cook was able to use his Haki right now, he'd know of their presence anyway, but the sheer thought of eavesdropping on their nakama felt disquieting._

“ _Can't tell, Franky, I really can't .. but he's talking to her, at least. More than a few words at a time. More than simple accusations. Isn't it strange how he's able to open up to her? It's like she really is someone special to him, like .. like a sister!”, to that, the more experienced and – at least in some ways – more mature Franky burst into laughter and softly padded the reindeer's shoulders._

“ _Well bro, 'sister' might not be the word you're looking for. You know, doctor, sometimes a man might not be able to open up to his closest kin, but if there's a woman holding dominion over his heart, she'll burn down all the walls and get right through to him. I'm sure that you're going to understand that in due time.”, the thought alone seemed to shock Chopper, that even within all of their true companionship, there was still a different level of relation to reach._

“ _YOU MEAN HE'S IN LOVE WITH HER?!”_

_Sometimes, when the night is at her blackest, a single, endless void that seemed like an ocean, one could still find a star. A beacon of light._

_Sometimes, that single beacon of light was all that was needed to lift the spirit, to keep it going._

_At other times, this beacon of light was nothing but a ghost light._

_When Nami rushed out of the infirmary to shout at the eavesdroppers, they thought that things would get back to normal soon enough. They were wrong._

 

 

“See, bro, for about two months we thought that things might get back to how they were again, sure, blondie talked a little less than usual, but he got back to cooking and fighting and flattering the women. None of us realised that we began to rot from within, until it was too late. For a few weeks, I even thought that blondie and the bride might have something good going. Probably not going to have to mention that I was wrong, and things went downhill from there.”, Chopper nodded in agreement.

“Guess you could say that our time together simply ran out. Brook's last stand had made an impact on our crew that none of us was aware of .. until we were falling apart. You know, bro, I'm actually happy to see that my sis found someone to spend her life with, because she deserves happiness. It's just that I think that her true purpose is still out there, on the sea. She might be content with being wed, but to the last of her days, I'm sure she'll ask herself what could have been ..”, again, the hilarious sight of seeing tears running down in streams from a cyborg's face.

“He's torturing himself.”, even though Chopper was in his fluffy form, the one that possessed a rather high voice, too, he sounded as sombre as it gets. A fact that surprised both of his conversational partners.

“What? Who?”

“Sanji. You've implied it yourself, didn't you, Franky? That he might be in love with her.”, he was looking up to the cyborg's face, not waiting for an answer.

“I now think that you've been right all the way. That, and we both know Sanji. He isn't one to change, at least not by a lot, not when it's concerning something that is important to him. The ladies, the All Blue, cooking, I'm sure that all of these will never cease to be of utmost importance to him. Still, if you take a look at him now, he's just sitting there all by himself instead of courting any of the young ladies here. This has to mean something! She's the one who carved her name onto his heart, Franky!”

The cyborg wanted to reply something, he might have even wanted to tell the reindeer to stop dreaming. Instead, he looked at the stranger, of all people, for help. He smiled.

“I don't have all the answers, my friends, but .. after all, you're still pirates, aren't you? Freedom does have a different, one could say a more 'extreme', meaning to you than to other people. Maybe, maybe, maybe .. there is so much more to see, so much more to do. What use are dreams if you never chase them? Oh, and I personally think that it's better to go regretting to have said something than to regret not to have said it, these are not the times for things to remain unspoken.

All of you are still young enough to take back the night.

Maybe it is your purpose to inherit these seas.”

 


	7. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone needs to find the bar, because if all else fails, it's better to die drunk. Also, we finally meet Nami's husband-to-be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fellas, I felt a lot better about writing this chapter than the last one, I hope that you'll might like it, too. And don't mind the differing chapter numbers, because I just messed up royally. They're still in order, it's the seventh post concerning Gloomy Days, the fifth one after I stopped numbering them with III.x and it's 3.4 if I stuck to that. Or so, I really don't know anymore.

Chapter VII / V / III.4 - Second Chances

 

_Where the Hell am I?_

 

The question was not really as surprising as it should be, considering the person that was asking. After a good time of wandering around, it became blatantly obvious that he got lost within the mansion while he was looking for the bar. The exact bar that was in clear line of sight just a few minutes ago. The exact bar that the obvious blonde hair of Sanji could have been seen at. Still, he got lost. Besides that, he felt awfully naked without his trusty companions made of tempered steel at his hips. For the record, he had gotten lost in places that were much more simple than this opulent and imperial mansion, and his evergrowing thirst for booze didn't help. As did the fact that meeting Sanji after years of separation did indeed have a lasting effect on him, as much as he wanted to deny it.

They had been brothers in all but blood for many years until the rot began to tear the crew apart. Even the strongest metal could be destroyed by corrosion, a mountain could be ground down by waves. With the bonds of friendship, it was just the same. When people stopped to be true towards one another, to keep a thing going only for the sake of it being what they used to be, even the strongest ties tended to lacerate. The swordsman had used the long time apart to reflect on it, something that none of his former crewmates would have believed.

 _Damn cook, I bet he's at the bar now, flirting with some broad and having booze, while I'm .. somewhere, I guess. Think I didn't leave the house, did I? Why does everything here look so unfamiliar?!_ , he was of a mind to just punch his way through the walls until he found some people and just a few years ago, he would've done it in an instance. Today should have been a special day for his former navigator, though, and if he accidentally broke the skull of her groom, she'd probably not be too happy about it.

 _That, and I still owe her a load of money._ This fact was more a problem now than it used to be. When they were still travelling together, there was booty to be had, money to be stolen from other pirates. Now that he pursued his dream of becoming the greatest swordsman in the world on his own, things went .. a little slower. Falling back into his old ways as a pirate hunter, he found out the hard way that the World Government didn't actually like to pay bounties to ex-pirates. Scratching that off of his list, he worked as a bouncer for a few months, as his former captain did. Sadly enough, the paycheck wasn't even close to cover his drinking habits. That, and his employers didn't like that he slept on the job. To keep himself floating, he resorted to teaching swordsmanship, although that also didn't work out as well as he was expecting. If people got monstrously strong in a relatively short amount of time, they sometimes lost perspective. This loss of perspective did dawn on him when he broke both the arm and the wooden sword of a pupil during a practice session, after seeing that, the large influx of new people that were drawn to his name suddenly subsided.

_I wonder when the ceremony is going to start, I might just be able to hear them .. until then, why not take a small nap? Can't do anything wrong with not moving any further away, right? Right?_

It was all the more unfortunate that simply taking a nap wasn't as good since he left the crew as it used to be. On the outside, the green-haired swordsman was a killing machine, a force of nature when it came to battling their foes, but still waters used to run deeper than one might have thought. The events of their separation did make a lasting impact on him, traces of that even haunted him up until this very day.

 

 

_"YOU GODDAMN MORON!", he shouted out in an unusual fit of rage when the first punch was thrown. The cook didn't even try to react to it and faced the consequences. His balled up fist came crashing down on Sanji's face and sent him flying straight into the ship's rail. A lesser man would've lost consciousness from the force of impact alone, but even though Zoro would never admit it, the cook was as tough as nails. Thus, he was able to simply shrug it off and stand up as if nothing happened, rubbing the place of impact in an apathetic manner._

_"We're done yet?", the indifference in his voice enraged the swordsman even more, didn't the moron see that he was trying to help him?!_

_This scene was just the climactic finale of the developments that had occured within the crew since Brook's final death. The situation got from bad the worse and here they were, under the cover of the moon. The swordsman's blood was boiling because of the scene he had witnessed just minutes before. Not only did that dumb cook hurt himself in the process, but he hurt the one woman who might actually be able to unconditionally feel for him. Not in any physical way, of course, but that somehow made it even worse._

_"YOU GET BACK IN THERE AND APOLOGISE!", he shouted again, at least showing enough foresight to not draw his swords. Things would have gotten really messy if both of them unleashed all they had._

_"What does it matter? And why do you care, of all people? This crew's finished, marimo. Robin knew it, even Franky and Chopper left. This is it, deadlock for our dreams. Just stay out of my way, I'm going to hop off at the next harbor and you'll never have to see me again. It's just a matter of days.", he pulled out a cigarette and put it between his lips, though he didn't have a chance to ignite it as the swordsman took his next swing. A mean hook that impacted on the right side of his head and smashed him to the ground again, throwing the cigarette from his lips._

_Zoro was quite surprised about the whole situation himself. Usually, he pretended not to care at all, especially when regarding the cook. This time though, it was different. When Usopp left the crew after his fight with Luffy, there were more pressing concerns to be taken care of and things worked out in the end, anyway. He was so sure about it that he didn't feel the need to intervene. The same thing happened again when the cook was doing his spiel with his wedding, though he pretended not to give too much of a concern about the situation, he was certain that Sanji's abilities would be more than sufficient to resolve it in their favour. Yes, it did need the invertention of Nami, Luffy, Chopper and Brook, but things worked out._

_This time, he couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. He had to do something about it or the whole thing would go to Hell. It probably already was._

_"You didn't answer my question. Why in the world do you care?!", Sanji's indifferent facade was finally crumbling, his hands were balled into fists and after the first two, free hits, he was finally ready to defend himself._

_"Shut up, go in there and apologise if you don't want me to kill you.", the anger wasn't exactly subsiding, but at least the swordsman had found a way to use it in his usual manner. Focussed on the enemy, he raised his hands in the style a boxer would._

_The fights between these two always had something comically serious, as if two storms were wrestling with each other, two unstoppable forces of nature. Surprisingly enough, none of them had ever been hurt within their encounters, but both of them knew that this time, the outcome could be different. One of them might die._

_For an outsider, it would have looked as if two mortal enemies were engaging each other, they wouldn't have known what was lying underneath. After all that happened, this fight was still a show of mutual respect. None of them was giving quarter or a second of relieve to the other and besides the fact that Zoro wasn't using his swords, he went all out. Even blocking or evading attacks became secondary as they traded crushing blows that would have killed a lesser man. In this situation, they broke bones and tore flesh apart, but none of it was lethal. These men were evenly matched and it seemed that the only condition of losing was to go in the defensive._

_After a few minutes of all-out combat, the swordsman and the cook were breathing heavily, bleeding from a dozen or more minor wounds and ignoring a plethora of broken ribs and other bones. Still, they went at each other in a final clash in which they traded hits again. Sanji's shinbone came crushing into Zoro's ripcage, again, and unfolded enough kinetic energy to throw him into the ship's rail, but the trade-off was that he wasn't able to defend himself against the swordsman's devastating right. The impact let him collapse backwards and blurred his vision. After all, none of them was in the condition to continue this fight much longer and they did make one hell of a noise out there._

_Getting back up, Zoro knew that another one of those kicks would damage his internal organs enough that it might kill him. If the broken ribs hadn't already began with puncturing his lungs. Too bad that showing weakness or admitting defeat was not his strong point. At least the cook wasn't looking much better, if any better at all. He had taken so many htis to his head that he was sure to have a concussion and blood was running down his nostrils and his mouth. The situation would have proven dire if all the noise they made didn't alert one of their remaining nakama. She bursted out of her cabin, her eyes still teary from the conversation they had, before the fight between these two 'brothers' escalated._

_"STOP IT, PLEASE!", she started crying the moment she realised what was happening. And against any better judgement, even after all the things he said .. or more, didn't say and didn't do when the whole world came crushing down on them, she still ran up to the now sitting Sanji and fresh tears filled her big brown eyes. "Please, Sanji-kun, please stop ..", this provided Zoro with yet another proof that he was doing the right thing here._

_Sure, it wasn't easy for Nami and Sanji when things started out, but somewhere along the way, his relentless pursuit of fulfilling all of her wishes made her open up. So much, in fact, that it seemed for a while now that she had made the conscious decision of being with him, openly caring for him. And he was about to throw it all away. Zoro knew that the cook understood his trail of thoughts when their eyes met. The navigator was sitting right next to him and visibly wanted to comfort, to embrace the cook. Maybe a simple touch could have changed how things went, maybe it could have been more than a hope spot. The moment passed, though, and Sanji worked himself up, aching every step of the way, carefully averting his gaze from the red-haired woman next to him. This scene reminded Zoro too much about what had happened minutes ago, when she was on her knees and begged him not to go._

_Still, he wasn't even looking at her, the one remaining person he desired more than the All Blue itself. Zoro's lips silently formed the words 'Stay. For her.', but to no avail._

_The Sunny was in the middle of the ocean right now and Sanji had suffered some devastating blows, yet he still refused to give in. To do what's best. The last chance for a second sunrise vanished into thin air when the cook jumped into the air, his face full of regrets and his visible eye the source of neverending tears. He skywalked out of sight within the next moments, leaving behind shattered bonds and two broken hearts. Hers and his own._

 

 

"Excuse me, sir, are you alright?", he was opening his healthy eye, actually being happy to have been awoken from this haunting dream. The swordsman took his sweet time to reply, first and foremost beginning to inspect who was talking to him. _Hrm .. too handsome for his own good._

"It's alright, just took a little nap before all the .. fuss.", he didn't know how to assess the cautious laughter that followed his remark, but an idea already began to form.

"Haha, oh, my good friend, you're absolutely right. I, too, find it a little distracting from the more important things. The wedding probably is blown out of proportion. Many of the guests aren't here to meet Nami, anyway, they're here to attend my parents.", he was holding out his right hand towards Zoro to help him get to his feet, but the swordsman declined by shaking his head, getting up on his own instead.

"Thanks, I'm .. good. My throat's terribly dry, though, where's the bar?", he was leaning his head to both sides, making his neck crack in a manner that visibly sent shivers down the other man's spine. Yet, he continued to smile.

"Sure, my friend. Right down this hallway, you can't miss it. Before you go, though, may I ask you something? Since I don't know you, I assume that you belong to my dear Nami's guests, is that right?", Zoro nodded, moving his right hand in a small circle instead of just telling him to go on.

"That's great, I'm really excited to finally meet most of her family and friends! Judging from the hair and the rough exterior, I assume that you're Roronoa Zoro, is that right, too?", again, the swordsman just nodded. How much did she actually tell that guy about her past? The scion of an old and influential family, getting married to a former pirate? Even if the guy himself wanted it, his parents might not be as excited about this prospect.

"You might not want to write it on your shirt, though. People can get a little weird when they're in the company of pirates. Or .. former pirates.", in contrast to Luffy, who's bounty had been erased by his grandfather, Zoro's was still active. That also was the main reason that he wasn't able to collect bounties from the people he hunted down.

"Oh, don't worry about it, my friend. Nami trusted me with these informations about her past, none will hear them from my lips. It would cast quite the shadow on our marriage and I really don't want to put her through this stress. I mean, even if it was to come out, I'd still stay by her side, but the act of calming the waves would be a distressing start for a life in wedlock, don't you think?", still, the swordsman wasn't really sure what to think about him. He was as tall, dark and handsome as they could get, definitely not a bad catch. And he had money and even though he knew about her past, he seemed understanding enough. A nice companion for her future.

"Yeah, better that way. What's it you want to know? Just going to remind you that I'm really getting thirsty right now.", well, he mostly was thirsty, but he also wasn't terribly delighted to be a part of this conversation right now. As far as he could see and feel it, there was nothing really wrong about this guy. _Quite on the contrary, even. I've got the impression that he actually is genuine._

"Well, my friend, it might be the wrong time to fill you in on this, but since you're one of her closest friends, maybe you'd know a way to lift her spirits. During the time she was writing your invitations, especially during the last one she wrote, she actually broke down and started to cry. See, she wrote all of them during the nightly hours, away from our bedroom and in isolation. When I heard her crying, I rushed to her bureau, but she just wouldn't let me in. So .. I mean, you don't have to answer me, but I'd love to know what that could have been about. The next day, everything went back to normal and I didn't ask what was going on, thinking that she'd open up to me when she felt like it, but that did not occur yet.", for the first time now, the groom had Zoro's full attention. After meeting so many wealthy and powerful people, it felt refreshing to meet someone who at least seemed to be a reflective, true-to-himself person. Yet, Zoro didn't want to get pulled into this. He had tried to intervene once and it failed, he wouldn't try a second time. That, and if he said anything, just about anything wrong here, it might be his fault that this nice bubble that Nami had built for herself would burst. How would he react when confronted with the swordsman's theory that her heart, in fact, might still be beating for another man? _Probably not what you want to hear on the day of your wedding._

"Sorry, can't help you with that, but I'm sure it's going to work itself out. This way to the bar, right?", it was obvious by now that he wanted this conversation to end. If in any way possible, without leaving a broken groom behind. _Not going to carry that cross. Every other, but not this one. I'm not even going to try to fix this mess for you, freaking perverted cook._

The groom nodded in a sad fashion before he forced himself to smile again.

"This way, my friend. Well, I already said that it'd be alright if you wouldn't want to answer that question. Just .. see, I want Nami to be happy, in the best of all cases, I would want her to be happy with me. I just fear that if there's an unspoken thing between us, the marriage might suffer from it. That's not what I want, neither for her, for me nor for my parents. So, one last time, my friend: Is there something I should know about her past? Did she have bad experiences with another man?"

_Whatever this is going to be, I'm not playing a part in it._

"Give it a rest, man. It's probably nothing and you'll have a nice, clean marriage waiting for you. This way to the bar, now?", again, he was pointing at the wrong direction. For the third time or so.

"My friend, this way. And I'm sure that you'll understand that it's rather difficult to put this situation to rest. You've known her longer than I did, that I'm sure of, so, shouldn't it be a shared interest of us to see her happy? I .. see, my friend, I know that I told you that you don't have to answer me, but I simply can't stop thinking about her crying in the night. I'm sure that it wasn't the only time that it happened, either. Sometimes, when she wakes up, her eyes appear to be swollen. She's always quick to cover it up, even telling me that it's because of an allergy, but you wouldn't believe that either. Especially not during the Winter."

_Hell, can't he just leave me alone? I don't want to be a part of this!_

It was then that another thought occured to the swordsman. For all his life, he never believed in fate, in some kind of god or a divine plan. Even if godlike things existed, they wouldn't care about humans, wouldn't they? So far out of touch with their own creation, nothing they would think or do would matter to him.

_But what if .. No, no, no. We're not going down that road. I've tried it once and I failed. We're not going to do that again. Whatever happens between all of them, it doesn't concern me anymore. I really need some sake right now._

The gnawing doubt was still there, though. What if there was some kind of a divine force that lead people through their lives? Not even all the time, only appearing when they were straying from their paths? Would these powers be able and willing to grant second chances?

_ARGH! They better will, because that frenzied woman will have my head if this doesn't work out!_

Finally having made a decision, Zoro stopped in his tracks, turning around to the still waiting groom.

"You know .. Cassian, was it? I don't like it, because you seem to be a nice guy, but you forced my hand in this. Yes, there once was another man. Do with that information what you will. I'm just telling you right here and right now: **You're not big enough to fill the hole that he left**."

With these words, he started moving towards the bar, now in dire need of a drink because Nami would almost certainly kill him and dying blackout drunk didn't seem like such a bad thing.

"Hey .. my friend, that's not the way to the bar."

 


	8. Tying Loose Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's about tying loose ends. And this is exactly what happens. Also, it's rather long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well fellas, here it is, my magnum opus’ next chapter (huehuehuehuehuehue). Actually, there are only two more chapters to come (plus the epilogue) before it’s finished. All of this has taken me a long time, thinking about the musings and of a coherent plot etc., the writing itself was done relatively quickly. And I just wanted to use this preface to thank you for the incredible amounts of support I’ve received. This author is very grateful for every like, every reblog, every kudo, every fav and every follow. Most of all, that shouldn’t be too surprising, I’m grateful for the people who’ve taken their time to leave a comment, that’s .. I don’t know, probably the Holy Grail for every writer (besides fanart, I guess, but contrary to commenting, not everyone can do that or has the time for it).
> 
> Where am I going with this? Well, dunno. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed this ride with you very much and I hope that I’ll be able to give the story a satisfying end.
> 
> As a last note, I’d like to dedicate this chapter to user @alaznesweeran / @onepiecefeatstuff for being an infinite source of support. I appreciate it more than I’m able to express with words. Hope you like it.
> 
> Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters don’t belong to me. Which still is a shame.  
> Disclaimer 2: I still fucked up royally regarding the chapter numbers, as this should be chapter VIII. Oh well.

 

**Chapter VI – The Maiden of Honour / Tying Loose Ends**

 

_Can you hear the silence, fighting with the wind?_

_Numbed by the illusion, that nature is a wind_

_Flying trees can’t handle needs_

_Waiting for your call_

_In this kingdom, queens are ruling, all for you all_

 

**Witchcraft – Ghost House**

 

She was a dream dressed in the colours of the night. The light tone of her skin went perfectly with the gown of night-blue she had chosen, it was flawlessly tailored aswell, emphasising all the fine, feminine assets she had inherited from her mother. Paired with her unusual height and her black, flowing hair, she sure was a sight to behold, frequently drawing lecherous looks from men old and young (besides the jealous gazes she gathered from a lot of women). All of these attributes together, her incredible looks, her height and the mysterious air of a seductress that was surrounding her, were carefully put together, though. Old habits did die hard and on more than one occasion in the past, she was able to gather informations from their adversaries, acting as a spy in all but name. Even at an occasion like the one she was attending right now, it definitely wasn’t to her disadvantage.

It was true, men were easily manipulated by looks and some of the older fellows might drop a hint or two about their families history, providing her with more vital informations for her line of work. At least sometimes.

Knowing all too well that she was able to turn men’s heads around the world, the recent moments were even more surprising to her, if slightly amusing. As mentioned, she was well aware of the fact that her looks were indeed working at peak performance, which made it all the more strange that the one man she knew who possessed an outstanding ‘beauty radar’ didn’t even take notice of her. Amusing and interesting at the same time.

_Maybe it has something to do with the woman he was talking to? Maybe a conversation with her could be worthwhile. If she’s a witch, the worst thing that could happen would be her biting my head off. Oh, exciting!_

The woman that had caught the cook’s undivided attention was leaving him alone at the bar, giving herself to the everflowing current of guests that surrounded this oasis for the brokenhearted, as it seemed. It wasn’t much of a problem for the maiden of honour, though, as her eyes and wits were as sharp as ever. She was quick to notice that the woman’s movements left the impression of not being mundane at all, even though she was surrounded by people, none of them even grazed her. The grace and flow that gave life to her movements were not natural, but in a good way. They were inhuman and it seemed to the archaeologist that her feet never really touched the ground, as if she was floating on a low air stream to reach her next destination.

_Oh, shouldn’t I be looking for Luffy? There’ll still be time for that. Well, if she doesn’t bite off my head. Wouldn’t that be an interesting way to start a marriage?_

She was quick to follow that woman’s trail, her height alone was enough to enable her to stride through the crowd. Maybe not as graceful as the other woman was, but it worked just fine. And if even that wasn’t enough, there would always appear a literal ‘helping hand’ to make space for her.

It took a few minutes to catch up to her and another few until both of them reached the crowd’s edge, a place were a normal conversation might actually be possible. Robin’s eyes met the woman’s back and she was astounded to see that her skin took the word ‘flawless’ and raised it through the roof. She wasn’t able to find even the smallest scar or the slightest disturbance on the woman’s skin, a fact that made her even more unnatural. The only people she could think of that might even be able to come close to it were the Celestial Dragons, but she was sure that this woman didn’t belong to them. The dragons, even though they didn’t have to breath in the ‘polluted’ air normal people were living on, were oftentimes hideously deformed due to countless generations of inbreeding. This strange woman though, at least as far as the archaeologist could say, was perfect in every sense of the word.

The only thing that was up for debate might have been the small tattoo that adorned her left shoulder blade. Tattoos were indeed prevalent in many parts of the world, but they usually didn’t appeal to the upper echelons of society. Instead, they were mostly found on the bodies of gang members or pirates, both professions not really fitting for the woman in front of her. It also was a rather peculiar and dark motive: A diving black bird, quite possibly a raven or a crow. Robin wouldn’t have thought twice about it if there wasn’t something special to it, though. The bird had three legs.

Just one more reason to start a conversation, and this would be the best time to do it, too. Robin raised a hand and softly touched the woman’s shoulder.

“Excuse me, madam?”, the touch made her stop in an instant and while Robin was lowering her hand, the woman turned around, a warm, approachable smile on her lips. The maiden of honour was indeed a little disappointend that she didn’t transform into some abomination from beyond the deepest depths of the ocean. A little disappointed. 

That being said, the beauty found within her face easily matched the flawlessness of her body.  _I will never see eyes as clear and green as these again, not in a thousand years. Maybe the reason that cook-san didn’t notice me is more simple than expected?_

“Pardon my impudence, but would you mind if I asked you a question or two?”, she began. 

“Oh, I’d be delighted to, my dear.”, her smile widened a little and she brushed a lose strand of hair aside, a simple gesture that appealed to the subconscious mind, making the person who saw it think that they had their undivided attention now. 

“I’m very grateful, thank you very much. When I was standing behind you, I couldn’t help but notice the ink on your shoulder and since then, there’s the gnawing question on my mind if it is what I think it is. Travelling the earth, I think I’ve seen this particular bird a few times already, venerated mostly by the inhabitants of rural and reclusive villages and a few hermits along the way. May I ask if that is indeed Yatagarasu, the heavenly messenger?”, the woman’s smile widened, if that was possible.

“My, I’m very impressed by your knowledge, my dear. Very impressed. Your assumption is correct, this little piece of ink depicts one version of the messenger, the most accurate one, in my .. opinion. It’s the version most relevant for the rural people from the North and West Blue, as a lot of their myths tell the tales of the Three-legged Crow.”

“While in the East and South Blue, he’s the Eight-headed Crow. I’ve stumbled upon a few of such tales whie I was working in those parts of the world.”, the archaeologist complemented the facts she stated, much to her delight. 

“My, you are a sage and a scholar, my dear! I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be recognised.”

_To be recognised?_ , Robin raised a brow, waiting for a correction that should never come. Unfortunately for her, this was not the time to think too long about such trivialities and she moved on to the next topic, deciding not to pay attention to this remark.

“The last thing I wanted to talk to you about, though .. a few minutes ago, I saw you talking to one patrticular blonde man at the bar. He’s an old friend of mine, but we didn’t have the chance to have a conversation in years and I fear that this marriage might be a lot to stomach for him ..”, she paused as the other woman raised a hand, returning to this enchanting mixture of smirk and smile that was sure to break men’s hearts by the dozen. 

“Ah .. I see, straight to the point, right? I adore this attitude, even though I’m of the opinion that the mind needs rest, at least from time to time. Oh .. alright, I’m guessing that you want to know how he’s holding up? Appropriate, regarding the circumstances, but still on the verge of making or breaking, if you allow me the jest. This man knows that the abyss returns even the boldest of gazes, but his decision to shy away from it is crumbling.”, Robin was left speechless. This woman wasn’t talking to Sanji for more than five minutes, yet she still possessed a unique insight both into his thinking and into the situation at hand. This could not be the work of five minutes of conversation alone.

“I’m .. astounded, to say the least. You seem to be understanding him better than a little chit-chat should allow you to. Could it be that you knew him way before your meeting here?”

“Dear, my dear .. this is not what you want to ask, we both know it. For all of your life, you have been nothing but efficient, there is no need to stray from that way, now.”, the woman was right. All throughout her life, Robin had to be efficient, she had to be sharp to outsmart those who hunted her, to forge bonds that she could use to her advantage. The dangerous knowledge she carried was a burden for her but a blessing for those who seeked the truth. 

“I understand. So .. that leaves me to the question if he’s willing to accept that she’s getting married to another man.”, usually, it would have been more fitting for Robin’s nature to give a snide remark about the whole situation and move on with more important things, only that this time, the exact thing that was of the utmost importance was this situation. Even though she usually didn’t show it in the same flashy and over-the-top manner that her former _nakama_ did, she cared deeply for these people. Her true friends and the closest things to a family she had all over the seas. 

“At this moment? Yes, he’s willing to accept it. Even though he’s on the brink of crossing the river, all his strength and willpower will fail him when push comes to shove. Thus, yes, he’s going to accept it, her marriage and the fact that it will break him. As you probably have expected, this man is more than ready to sacrifice every single little thing that’s keeping him alive to see her happy. Even if that last thing is hope.”, her smile had faded away and the tone of her high voice had become increasingly sombre while she was speaking, according to the topic she was touching. 

“What .. what is going to happen after the wedding?”

The strange woman shrugged before she answered. “I don’t know, to be honest. Nor do I care. Don’t mistake my role for an active one in your stage play, Nico Robin. It is my wish and my purpose to show the actors another way, but I can’t force it upon them. This is what free will is all about. The decision is up to any single person involved, and neither the Heavens nor any God can change a thing about that. The world keeps turning, my dear, but it’s neither stagnant nor unalterable. Personally, I’d like to see a world in that people are free. So free, in fact, that some of the branches of the current World Government would consider it a crime. Your former captain might have been able to bring about this future, but with how things currently are, the situation looks dire. I hate to say it, but this is the point of no return. The true test, Nico Robin: Hold fast! Or expire.”, she was turning away by now, ready to move on to wherever. Still, there was one question left to be asked.

“Does he still love her?”

She stopped in her tracks, turning around once more. This time though, she was smiling again.

“Irrationally so, yes. With all his heart. Dreams might be shattered, bonds might be broken or forgotten, but the love that this graceless knight is carrying within the depths of his heart will never waver. It is what will drive him insane.”, with those words, she vanished out of sight. Like feathers in the wind. 

But Robin wouldn’t have been Robin if she was easily shaken. There were other, pressing concerns to be taken care of. The wedding was about to start and the clock was ticking lives away. 

Her feet were moving on their own, carried her to the next destination without failure. The archaeologist’s former captain was still waiting were she left him and she used these few moments of reprieve to slip into Nami’s room, knocking twice while she was already opening the door. 

“Sanji- _kun?!_ ” was what greeted her. (Author’s notes: See chapter II for their entire conversation, it’s been a while, I know)

“Not exactly, dear navigator-san. He’s here, though.”

With all the additional impressions she had gathered from her time here, this conversation was bound to be unpleasant. At the climax of it, the archaeologist finally asked one of the most important question of all.

“Are you happy?”

The appropriate answer for a bride would have been ‘yes’, but only silence was heard, occasionally interrupted by Nami’s sobbing. 

_Cook-san might have said that a woman’s tears always told the truth._ , she contemplated when she softly embraced her former navigator. There might have been some truth to it, too. As her tears were falling, her tongue was loosened. 

“I should be .. I really should be, this was supposed to be the most wonderful day in my entire life .. look at me now .. it’s not, I don’t even know if it can be .. he’s here, Robin, you said it yourself. Is his purpose to mock my damn heart? Has fate decided that it would like to see me suffer? Why did I ever write his invitation?”, her sobbing became uncontrollably and it took her a few seconds to regain some composure. 

“I’ve .. I’ve told myself that the only reason for his invitation was to prove to myself that I was strong again .. but from the moment the letter was sent, I felt weaker and more frail every day. Now that he’s here, I .. I just don’t know what to do! Can you send him away, Robin? Is that possible? Would you do that for me?”, irrational thoughts within a stressful situation were the norm, the mind was clinging to everything that might be able to reinstate normality. 

“Shh, my dear navigator-san .. everything’s going to be okay, I promise. But .. if it helps you and if you really want me to send him away, I will do it.”, Robin knew all too well that this was a dangerous gambit, especially considering what some parts of her were hoping for each and every day of her life, all since the great divide. She had taken it with more countenance than most of her male _nakama_ , but she wasn’t the ice queen that she used to be. And quite happy about that, too. 

For a second it seemed that Nami would indeed beg her to send him away, and that would be the end of things. The true funeral of dreams, as throughout all of these lines, the central conflict was always the one that the human heart fought with itself.

Adversaties, though, could foster hope. And resilience. Within the darkest hours and against the backdrop of despair, sometimes, all it took was a moment of valour to burn the shadows away.

Though the tears didn’t subside, her voice was steady again when she answered.

“No .. no, Robin. I have to go through with this, I have to see him one last time or my mind will never have peace. It .. it might not be the most wonderful day of my life anymore, Robin, but clarity will do ..”, Robin was quick to recognise how much her friend had to fight with her demons to remain calm and composed, an admirable effort in the face of tragedy, past and present.

“We’re going to work something out, my dear. That much I can promise you.”, while she was talking, the powers of her devil fruit were invoked. Arms that came from nowhere sprouted on any possible surface, all the way from her dresser to where they both were sitting. All for the simple act of carrying tissues to her friend. She was a bride and had to look like one. Robin took the initiative, let go of her and began to dry her tears and clear up her makeup. A sysyphean task, but a much needed one. 

“Why did he accept the invitation, anyway?”, the archaelogist had been afraid of this question for a long time, because back then, she wouldn’t have known what to answer. To be perfectly frank, she didn’t exactly know it right now. Up until this point, things went reasonably well, Nami had even regained her composure when she was standing on the very precipice to oblivion. This matter was a completely different one, though.

_Well, what did my mysterious acquaintance say? ‘Hold fast! Or expire.’ Does it really matter what I say now? The situation is bound to end in tears, but what’s the lesser evil to go with? Wouldn’t it be my duty to tell her the truth? But what’s to come after that? She might cancel the wedding and they’d still be in the very same situation of days long gone by. Then, should I lie to her? I don’t like the prospect, even if navigator-san is able to live through the wedding just fine, wouldn’t I be damning her to sticking to the second-best? People are complicated and I’m not even a single step closer to knowing what to do._

“Robin .. are you still with me?”, the navigator sounded hesitant, excited and fearful to hear the answer at the same time.

“Yes, my dear .. I’m not going to leave your side until all of this is over.”, this might just buy her a few more seconds of thinking. _This is not going to work out, I need a little more time .. just a little more. With a little luck, the others might have an opinion of their own on how we should act._ Despite her undeniable intelligence, the archaelogist was a supporter at heart. It had always been like this, others would know where to go, but she would work out how to get there and collect intelligence.

“My dear navigator- _san_ , he’s here for the same reason all of us are. He wishes to see you happy, no matter the cost.”, that was vague at best and distracting at worst, but some decisions could not be made on her own. 

Nami affected a laugh and straigthened her back. She sure was grateful for everything Robin had to say, but a clear answer would have been very welcome.

“Would you excuse me for a moment? I’d like to have a word with our former captain, my dear. We’ll be with you again in a few minutes, if that is alright.”, Nami nodded and rose up from her chair, making her way to the dresser. She had to renew her makeup at all costs, a bride wasn’t supposed to look the way she was. “Don’t take too long, please.”

Leaving the room, the first thing to do for her was to look after Luffy. Surprisingly enough, he wasn’t ruining the whole buffet, instead patiently waiting for the beginning of the ceremony. The only odd thing about this situation was the deathly pallor his skin was showing. One more reason the archaeologist had to chuckle, stygian humor always was her go-to.

“Captain- _san_? I think that our navigator- _san_ is as ready as she can be to .. say the words. Oh .. you look pale, captain _-san_. Could it be that you’ve seen a ghost?” The rubberman was known for his strange antics, no questions asked, but this time, his serious face was the source of all the weirdness.

“I don’t know, but .. Robin, I don’t think that Nami belongs here.” That actually was astounding. Monkey D. Luffy, as obstinate as he most of the time was, wasn’t one to take matters of the heart, at least of other people, into his own hands. Especially not if these matters promised a bright, or, at least, a good future. Nami’s marriage fulfilled all these qualities, Robin had a few conversations with Cassian and thought that he’d make a fine partner. Maybe not the perfect one, but a good one, nonetheless. If she had any other opinion, she would’ve told her good friend. It was still too early, though. And she had to act fast

Within an instant, hands were sprouting from his cheeks and pressed against his mouth to stop him from talking. The archaeologist closed the distance between the two and her voice was nothing more than a whisper. She was good at thinking fast, waiting for an opportunity. These things might have come with her past as a criminal, even an assassin. Acting too hurriedly was almost certainly bound to bring about a catastrophe. Not regarding the stress, her mind was working as quickly as ever and assumptions were made.

_When I first talked to him, he wasn’t exactly delighted about the occasion, but he was still willing to take the role of being her surrogate father for the ceremony. This has changed now. ‘It is my wish and my purpose to show the actors another way’, those were her words. I’ve seen her talking to cook-san and talked to her myself. Could it be that she had a little conversation with captain-san, too? And the others? That woman also said that she’s not playing an active part, only showing us another way. We were all supposed to be guests, to support her at such an occasion, could it be that ‘the other way’ is us taking a more active role? One that might change the outcome of this stageplay, as she called it? Oh, what a sly little devil the heavenly messenger is .._

“Please, captain- _san_ , I can understand your doubts about her wedding, all of them. But I beg you, have a little patience. Just a few more minutes, until all of us .. until the ‘troupe’ is ready and the stage is set. No matter what happens, just .. just wait a few more minutes. You’ve seen her, too, haven’t you?”, she lowered her voice a little more. The door to Nami’s room was thick enough, but her navigator’s senses had been exceptionally sharp all throughout the time they’ve known each other. _Finally, I’m beginning to get a grasp on the whole picture. I think._

To her surprise, the rubberman was shaking his head and mumbled something into the palms of her devilish hands. She loosened the grab enough to understand what he was actually saying.

“To her? No, Robin, I’ve talked to a long-haired fortuneteller! Yes, he really was one! Oh, he also has something to do with the wedding, but I didn’t care about that. He reminded me of something, Robin. Something that we used to live on.

Hope. Hope, as long as we still draw breath, there is hope. And as long as there is hope, we dream. For too long, I had forgotten what it meant to be dreaming. That is no longer the case.”, this man was incredible. Normally, during a conversation he was prone to make absolutely idiotic remarks, living up to his fullest only when facing danger.  _Could it be that his subconscious mind recognises Nami’s wedding as a danger to dreams that we thought long gone?_ But moments of clarity were just that, moments.

“Also, I think I’ll call him Halflight. When I was trying to get a grasp of him through my haki, this is what he appeared to be. A sudden glimmer of light within mostly confusing things. I think that he might like that name.”

“I .. eh .. yes. I’m sure he’s going to like it.”, she couldn’t add anything else, being astounded how quickly he was able to switch between insightful and inspiring to .. a child.

“I’m going to tell her that she’s got to bail out of the wedding. Right now.” Did this man ever listen? She stopped him before he was able to move, pressing her hands against his mouth again.

“Captain- _san_ , please, listen to me. I’m of the same mind as you. This wedding is not what’s going to make her happy. But we have to wait just a little longer. I assume that your ‘Halflight’ was not only talking to you, but to all of us. And if I’m right, he .. or, well, she, is trying to show us a different way. Remember how we were invincible when we were together, no matter the odds? We have to act flawlessly, my dear captain- _san._ And soon. The bride is waiting, but the stage is still missing something. I will take care of that. Just heed my words. No matter what’s going to happen, wait for the right time.”, his nodding was good enough. She hoped that it would suffice. The hands that were pressing his mouth shut vanished into flowers and she took his hand, wanting to lead him inside of Nami’s room.

“Remember, alright? Don’t act until we’re all ready.”, the task was simple, but little did Robin know about the test to his resolve that was about to come up. 

When they entered Nami’s room together, the bride was quick to hug the man who had been a brother and a surrogate father foremost, being her captain was of secondary importance. There was the test coming up, though. When they entered and both of them greeted each other, Robin was slightly relieved that he didn’t shout his thoughts out, as she expected he’d do. Up until now, things were working quite fine. Then, the request came up when the navigator walked towards her wardrobe.  _What’s she .. oh, please, no .._

“Luffy .. I .. I do have another request, one that you might not like. Most of these people here don’t know who I am and what I was. I .. I admit that I have forgotten myself for some time. But just this once, maybe for the last time, I want them to see my true colours. And I can’t think of a better way to do it than through you. All of you, my family.”, with these words, she grabbed the lonely strawhat out of her wardrobe, turned around and presented it to her former captain. 

Needless to say, Robin feared for the worst. An emotional outbreak, him crying and telling her all the things they talked about, telling Nami to bail out of the wedding. Again, he surprised her. A truly astonishing man. Monkey D. Luffy, a feared pirate, a child, a relentless eater. But he also was deeper than one might expect, insightful when it was necessary and he was able to stick to a plan when his subconscious mind thought it being the right thing to do. 

And within just a moment in time, king and crown were reunited once again, and even though they were just three friends standing in a dressing room, when he put it on his head again after too many years of absence, Robin was able to feel how the weight of the world fell down from his shoulders and shackles, thought unbreakable, vanished.

“I’ll see you outside, navigator- _san,_ captain- _san._ There’s just something very trivial I have to take care of. Don’t worry about it, your rings are safe with me.”

After leaving the room, the archaeologist approached her objective as quickly as her feet carried her. Together, they were invincible, but how could they be together if one of them wasn’t walking the earth anymore? The solution was all too obvious.

“Storm’s coming, mates. It’s going to hit the harbor in about half an hour, if the folks here can be trusted.”

“So what? You afraid of a little wind and rain, man? Let’s just get hammered inside. If you’re lucky enough, one of the girls here will be drunk and blind enough to take ya home,” another one answered him. 

“Oh bugger off, you know that I ain’t afraid of no storms. It’s what’s livin’ within these that I’m wary of!”

“Better shut the hell up about all your deadly fogs and storms and whatnot, man, I ain’t buying your shit about freakish voices in the dark and ghosts sailing ships! No ghost in his right mind would do that, they’d just swoosh around and find the first comely girl taking a shower!”

Robin cleared her throat and won their immediate attention.  _Too easy._

“Gentlemen, would you be so kind as to grant me a request?”

The men were looking at each other, under different circumstances, they’d have probably thrown themselves into the waves to impress the lady, but they had a job here and the ceremony would begin in just a few minutes.

“Please, it’s just a little change of plans. It actually is a request of the bride herself, she’d be very grateful if you grant her that wish, she said that she’d even take to you to meet some of her bridesmaids if you would find it in your heart to do her this favour.”

The men were still hesitant, looking at each other, as if one of them had the answer. But Robin knew that they’d accept. They didn’t know it, but they would, soon enough.

“Well .. if it’s the bride’s wish, I guess we’re ready to comply, miss. What’s the song she wants us to play? And when?”

“I’m very grateful, gentlemen, as is the bride. I’ll give you the sign, just don’t take your eyes off me, hm?”, she said, winking.

“And the song in question is ...”

 


	9. Two Minutes To Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dazed, reeling, about to break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I do not know what makes a writer, but it probably isn't happiness.” - William Saroyan, The Bicycle Rider In Beverly Hills  
> Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters do not belong to me.

 

Chapter VII – The Graceless Knight / Two Minutes To Midnight

_This is it. How it’s going to end. Goodbye, my dreams, my family, my love. I could never have imagined that this would be the tragic extent of my failings. The woman said that I’ve arrived at the crossroads, and my actions could change the course of things, but the only way to win this game is not to play at all. Just .. just let it be over quickly._

After the conversation at the bar, his mind was torn apart. The moment he went there to talk to the mysterious woman, he had already decided to take whatever was coming head on. But she, that woman, whoever she was, had managed to make things more complicated. She had shown him a tiny spot of hope, but in truth, she just led him to an even higher cliff to jump from. There could be no hope in this wonderful hell-hole. No hope at all. After taking his seat on the side of the bride, as far away from his former crew mates as possible, he was left with his own thoughts again. Struggling not to care, fighting his inner demons in a last, defiant stand. One that he was about to lose for good.

_What has become of me? I can’t even look them in the eye. Chopper .. Chopper even seems to be afraid of me. Am I really that broken of a man? Vestigial in all but outward appearance? I need to leave this place as soon as the ceremony is over. Can’t take it anymore. Memories are a terrible thing, and I remember everything. Every tear she cried, every night of drunken stupor to numb the pain of leaving her behind. If I had known that the way would lead me here, I .. I might have ended it all. Me being .. just being, is no more good to anyone, least of which to her._

He finally forced himself to look around for a moment. On the side of the groom, he could see no familiar faces. On Nami’s side though, all of their former  _nakama_ had arrived, at least those that could make time for the event. Those that were still alive. If he hadn’t known it better, he might have thought that denial could be found in all their faces. What they denied, he did not know. Maybe him being here? Some of them had already left when he clashed with the swordsman and had to flee from the love of his life. Word, though, travelled fast and far. He was sure that they knew about all the things that had transpired. He was sure that they knew how much he hurt Nami on their last day, and even if they found it in their hearts to forgive him, he could never do.

_I’m sorry that you wasted your time, madame. After you left me at the bar, I felt invigorated. If even for a moment, I saw a chance that it just might work out. But moments vanish like summer rain. I will not do it, I can not do it. This is Nami-san’s chance for a good life, a wonderful life even. She will have security, she’ll be a wonderful mother, she might even have true love. What could I offer to her that’s worth more? Nothing. I’m a broken man, unable to give her anything but more wounds on her soul. She was so wonderful .. she .. she might have loved me. Why did I ever leave her behind?_

Mere thoughts alone did not have the power to change the world. And after tens of thousands of words, the clock finally struck the hour and the band began to play the wedding march. Heads were turned in the supposed direction the bride was coming from and voices were raised in collective awe.

_She .. oh my god .._ Mere words and thoughts failed Sanji at the sight he was given. 

Even at the worst, the most stygian of days, the red-haired goddess that went by the name of Nami was a light in the darkness. Even when the universe seemed uncaring and ignorant of humanities insignificant existence, even the most callous of beings must have felt the heat that she was radiating. If mankind ever ceased to exist, if only one human being should remain as the precursor for its renewal, it should have been her. In the light of this angel - no -, this goddess, mankind should be reborn. When Sanji talked to the mysterious woman at the bar, he thought that she might have been the most physically perfect being he ever witnessed. Now, all thoughts about her were forgotten. The bar for human perfection had been raised. No one could ever be her equal, a bride fit for the progenitor of all the things that men looked upon and felt tenuous.

He was paralysed with awe. Senses went numb and even if he had tried, he wouldn’t have been able to battle down the thought that pictured himself as the groom, not the man who was waiting for her at the altar. Dying wouldn’t have been half bad right now, gaze set upon the most beautiful sight that he could ever think of. Unfortunately for him, the story didn’t end here and a silent death was too easy a way out.

After a moment that seemed like an eternity in the light of the celestial plains, his mind returned and he was able to witness the shock that went through the groom’s side of guests. Shock, murmur and whispers became prevalent were awe had been just a moment before. It took him a surprising amount of time to find the source of it, and when he did, his heart stood still a second time, the mind that was racing to show him pictures of what could have been came to an abrupt stop.

“Is that ..”, he focused to understand the whispers.

“Yes, it’s him!”

“I thought he died?”

“This cannot be. Absolutely not!”

“Is this a crude joke?! What an impudence!”

“I vividly remember his wanted poster, it’s definitely him!”

“Her father is the infamous Strawhat Luffy?!”

“The son of the Dragon?!”

“Was she a member of the Revolutionary Army?”

“No, idiot, he was a pirate. Does that mean that she was one, too?”

“That’s enough of a reason to stop the wedding, isn’t it?”

“Cassian seems to be perfectly comfortable, maybe he knew?”

“Might be that she was forced to stay with the Strawhats. It might not be her fault.”

_Cassian .._ the cook’s eyes moved to the altar and focused on the groom.

He indeed seemed to be the very embodiment of serenity, as was befitting his overall appearance. Sanji couldn’t deny that he was a handsome man. Not tall enough to be towering over everybody else, but it was still an impressive size, possibly around 1,88m (around 6ft2), his dark brown hair was combed back to not take away anything from his face. His cheek bones were clearly visible and his broad, distinctive chin was radiating virility and masculinity, even more so because he was cleanly shaven. His eyes might have been the real catch for the ladies, though. They were of a lighter tone of brown and perfectly comfortable with reflecting the smile he had on his lips. When everything else about his face said that this man was better than his peers, these eyes made him approachable, friendly, gave him the look of a caring man, the ideal partner.

_I want to hate him. I really do. But .. he knows about her past. He knows that she was a pirate under our captain and he doesn’t care. Even in front of his friends and his family, he doesn’t care. Oh, I want to hate him .._

Moments passed and somewhere along the line, the murmurs subsided. The guests saw that the groom was comfortable with this show of affiliation and, at least for now, went with it. Meanwhile, Sanji was finally able to avert his gaze from Nami for more than a few seconds and he began to examine the clergyman or whatever he was, who as accompanying the groom at the altar.  _Or is it his best man? I really can’t tell._ As he would soon find out, his first assumption was right. The long-haired man that was standing beside the groom was, indeed, of the clergy. From his clothes alone, no one could have said. Clad in a tailored suit with a red tie, he could have been just another guest. Not a person of consequence, probably. His eye began to wander again, this time coming to a halt when it met his former captain.

_Were all these past years just a dream? It’s as if nothing changed, nothing ever happened. Brook’s still alive and we’re on our way towards the next adventure. Back again on the Sunny, living for our dreams alone. No .. no, no. Idiot shitty dreamer, that’s what I am. These days are long gone by. We’re no longer nakama. No longer family, our dreams are buried and forgotten, nothing could ever bring them back. Purpose failed us, fate was no longer on our side. Our bonds are shattered, we’re acquaintances, not family anymore. All of us have our own lives to live. We’re done. Not even seeing him with his greatest treasure again can make it undone. Years of living apart, an eternity of not talking to one another, a lifetime of existing with a broken heart. We’re done, we’re through. She’s getting married and I should be here to support her, yet I cannot. She mustn’t see. She mustn’t see that I’m torn, that it’s killing me to just be here, to see her. All of them must not know. Keep up the act, idiot! Tear your eyes from him, from them. One last act of duty. Be here for her, wish her all the best. She’s happy. She must be happy, will be happy. The most important thing of all. Luffy has his hat again, so what? Maybe it was her request. Just to have the impression of being family one last time until she starts her own. There’s nothing left. The only thing that remains from our shared past are wounds to be tended, lessons to be learned. STOP! LOOKING! AT! THEM!_

His mind was screaming as so many memories came back to haunt him. She cried because of him, she cried because she feared that he’d leave her. He didn’t want to, never wanted to hurt anyone. Yet he did, in the cruellest way imaginable. He ran away from her, broke her heart and his own and never tried to mend it. If suffering was the price, he’d gladly pay it. Seeing her with this man was just the beginning of it all, it must have been. Under these white ceilings, she would say ‘yes’ to a man he could not hate. A man that must have been better than him, if only for the reason that he managed to fight his demons instead of giving in to them, whatever they were. Everybody had these demons.

All of a sudden, the bride and her surrogate father had reached the altar. The maiden of honour was waiting to bring the rings. The stage was set, the troupe was ready and as the clergyman began to speak, Sanji felt as if he was finally drunk on all the shadows that his fragile soul carried for so many years.

Dazed, reeling, about to break.

The sonorous voice of the long-haired man filled these opulent halls with ease, demanding attention and silence. Even the erratic energy of the present children was not enough to successfully struggle against it. There was no way to stop all of this from happening, his darkest hour was the hour of her ascension. The heavenly bride was about to be united with a worthy husband. A husband that would not make her cry.

“Honoured bride, honoured groom,

Take a look around. In this decisive hour of your lives, you are not alone. You are surrounded by people who are close to you, who were close to you for years on end. Looking into each and every single face that gathered here, I can say with the utmost certainty that the bonds that run between all of you can be felt, can even be seen.

It is these bonds that make a human lifetime so precious.

Some philosophers say that life has no intrinsic purpose. That the universe is vast and dark and uncaring towards our very existence. But it is their conclusion that the uncaring universe is a good thing. Sometimes it might seem that the Gods are ignorant about humanity’s very existence, as they left their creation in a stygian void.

What better place but this void, though, to struck the match? To bear a blazing star? To make the shadows afraid?

These philosophers might be right, a life might not have intrinsic value, but the greatest gift bestowed on us is opportunity! Where there is no destiny, there are no bounds, no rules. Every life is free to find its own worth in the world. We all find bonds that might last for a whole lifespan and even longer.

This is what keeps all of us alive. This is what’s the most wonderful thing about living without a cosmic purpose, we are free to pursue what’s most important to us. If no one lends us a torch, we are free to find our own. To live the exact life that we are dreaming of.

The indefatigable search for our own, personal purpose, our own dreams and their fulfilment, the bonds forged in fire that accompany us for our whole life. All these things nourish the flame that stands between us and the darkness of the void.

Looking at all of you, honoured bride, honoured groom, dear guests, even the endless void is trembling. Within the uncaring nature of the cosmos, one can see that it’s eternal premise is to drive us apart, as one alone might not always find the strength to stand against the ever-growing darkness. This eternal adversity, though, fosters resilience. Within it, we find the heat that is necessary to temper the bonds we share.

I ask you, all of you: Is there a better way to laugh into the growing abyss’ face, than to be a part of this communion?

We are gathered here today, in the face of this illustrious company, to join together Cassian and Nami in traditional matrimony; an honourable estate, instituted by our forefathers, since the first men and women walked the earth.

Therefore; it is not to be entered inadvisedly and lightly, but reverently and soberly.

Into this venerated estate, these two persons present come now to be joined.

**If any one can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.** ”

_I .. I can. Because I love her more than I love myself. Because she’s worth more than a thousand dreams to me, her eyes are deeper than the All Blue, the Grand Line and all the Blues together are but puddles compared to how vast her heart is. Because she is a goddess, a goddess that needs proper veneration. Because I shall never tire in trying to make her happy. Because I’d gather all the stars in the sky if she just asked for it. Because .. I love her. Truly, madly, deeply. Having known her, I can never, ever fall in love with another woman. Having met her, I know that she’s both the Alpha and Omega to all the things I yearn for. Having known her for so long, I feel that she’s the brightest beacon in an endless night, the most wonderful being in existence. Nothing can ever, will ever be able to compare. I love her. I will never stop loving her, even if it drives me insane. In the reflection of her eyes, I can see myself being reborn into a light I had never known existed. I can not .. even though I have to let her go. Goodbye, Nami-san. I’m yours, forever._

Tears were filling his eyes, blurring his vision. The end was nigh, the words were about to be spoken. Despair filled his heart, breathing became increasingly difficult and death, right in this moment, would have been nothing but relief. His broken heart would never be able to recover. But she would be happy. She was everything that mattered. She would always be everything that mattered. Her smile. May she be happy. The hour struck midnight. The clouds gathered and unleashed a furious storm. His mind drifted away, may the roaring thunder be the witness of their communion. He was no longer able to control his sobbing, the frail picture of masculinity that he so carefully cultivated throughout his life was crumbling.

He was alone. All alone within an endless void. The one reason to live for was taken away from him, never to be found again. He could not speak, he could not bear witness to their union. Just being here, knowing what was about to happen, tore his heart and mind apart. Desperation and madness took over. There was no hope in this Hell. No hope at all.

The old tales and stories told of heroes that journeyed to Hell and back, emerging victorious. In this moment of perceived clarity, he knew that all of these stories told nothing but lies. One person alone could never emerge unscathed from facing the abyss. 

 

“Yes.”

A female voice. _Nami-san .. gods .. she said it. She said yes. All is lost. I should have never come. I'm vermin. Nothing but. I .. I .. I can't take it anymore. No one should be forced to endure a situation like this. All I asked for was forgiveness and love. All I ever wanted was her._

Were men allowed to cry? Were they not? Did anything matter anymore? His uncontrolled sobbing found its climax. He finally broke down and began to weep bitter tears.

The groom's side grew louder as the moments passed. They were happy. He was sure. And no one would ever pay attention to this broken man.

 

The End.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or was it?

 

 


	10. Radiance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of you guessed the song right, I'm sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger in the last chapter.

**Chapter X – The Graceless Knight / Radiance**

 

“ _Angel, angel, what have I done?_

_I’ve faced the quakes, the wind, the fire_

_I’ve conquered country, crown, and throne_

_Why can’t I cross this river?_

 

_Pay no mind to the battles you’ve won_

_It’ll take a lot more than rage and muscle_

_Open your heart and hands, my son_

_Or you’ll never make it over the river_

 

_It’ll take a lot more than words and guns_

_A whole lot more than riches and muscle_

_The hands of the many must join as one_

_And together we’ll cross the river”_

 

**Puscifer – The Humbling River**

 

Things were not always what they seemed to be. And even an affliction as powerful as hopelessness, nourished by shadows whispering of conspiracy, might not always be what one thought of them. Voices grew ever louder, so loud indeed that he wanted to press his hands on his ringing ears and close his eyes shut. Be done with it. Leave this place. The words were spoken, the new bond established. Was a life of hopelessness even worth living? He had to make this decision as soon as he left.

“What’s this supposed to be?!”

“It’s against all of our island’s traditions!”

“I don’t think that this is even a wedding song.”

“Impudence, I tell you!”

“Father, do something about that!”

What’s that? Even a mind as far gone as the cook’s was able to recognise that these voices were not happy. Quite the contrary, the tone they carried was irate, affronted, enraged, confused. Something didn’t go according to a plan. Whatever it was, there seemed to be enough of a reason to call out to the person of the highest authority present. To their surprise, he didn’t seem to care. Raising his sonorous voice, it seemed as if he was taking his place as a staunch defender of whatever it was that was going on.

“Honoured guests, I beg you: In this very moment, every voice has a right to be heard. Even those who left our lives may speak if their cause is just, the only requirement is for them to be given a voice. This might just be the case.”

What was all of this supposed to mean? The ceremony was at an end, both must have said ‘yes’ to each other. They were man and wife now. She was gone, forever. Why was it, though, that he couldn’t shake off the feeling of warmth caressing his skin? He was sure that a storm was raging on the outside, the mortal enemy of the sun, forbidding her to bring light to those in need. Yet, his skin felt as if he was embraced by loving arms, a shiver went through him as his mind tried to make sense of all the contradicting signals his ears gathered and his subconscious mind interpreted. He shouldn’t feel good. There was no warmth left in this world, at least not for him, not on this occasion. Yet, he couldn’t shake it off and ban it from his thoughts. Something was in the air, so thick that one might even be able to cut it with a knife. Something that should be forgotten, a remnant of a past he desperately wanted to forget. A very special something that was not allowed to emerge from memories clouded. Still, it did. After all these terrible memories that haunted him, he had forgotten that the world was not always dark. Even within these gloomy days.

Slowly, step by step, his mind was creeping back out of its shell. He didn’t want it to, but the siren’s song was too strong. The voices that cried out against this ‘impudence’ were still prevalent, but resistance was raised. It all began with one single voice that took a stand against the evergrowing darkness of his mind, one that he heard somewhere before, singing words that he was all too familiar with. It shouldn’t be, yet it was.

“Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho .. Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho ..”

Were one voice was raised, others were soon to follow. The source of the warmth that was touching his skin wasn’t sunlight, but sound. The lonely voice was, at first, accompanied by only a piano and a few violins.

Music was proven to have an unbelievable impact on the human mind. Depending on the song chosen, a plethora of emotions could occur within the listener. These days, sadness, depression and longing for reclusion were most prevalent in the cook’s life. This particular one, though, had other things in mind. Its purpose was to lift spirits, to create purpose within a life that seemingly didn’t have one.

More voices were joining. They knew the lyrics by heart. Every single of them knew. His ears caught the most unlikely of voices first, deep and booming. It belonged to the marimo. Even he knew.

“Going to deliver Bink’s Sake! Following the sea breeze! Riding on the waves! For across the salty depths! The merry evening sun!”

The swordsman was not alone. More voices chimed in and it felt as if Sanji’s very heart itself was beginning to move to these forgotten, ancient tunes. Numbed senses returned, were driven out of a hell hole that seemed so devoid of hope. He just let it happen.

“The birds sing as they draw circles in the sky!”

_Usopp, Franky .. am I dreaming?_

“Farewell to the harbor, to my old hometown!”

_Even Chopper. None of them has forgotten._

Soon enough, he heard all of them.

“Let’s all sing out with the Don! As the ship sets sail! Waves of gold and silver dissolve to salty spray! As we all set sail to the ends of the sea! Going to deliver Bink’s Sake!”

_Robin .. Luffy .. they’re all here. For the sake of all of us. Within these halls, we are reunited and reborn into the light. An ethereal moment, but it is so real that I might be able to grasp it with my own two hands .._

“We are pirates, sailing through the Sea! The waves are our pillows, the ship our roost! Flying the proud skull on our flags and our sails!”

The cook’s own voice was the last to join, unrestrained and invigorated. His world might have succumbed to darkness, but in this very moment, they were with him and he was with them.

“Now comes a storm through the far-off sky! Now the waves are dancing, beat upon the drums! If you lose your nerve, this breath could be your last! But if you just hold on, the morning sun will rise!

Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho

Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho

Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho

Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho ..”

Finally, the inevitable end of the song was here. The moment of warmth and unity would be gone, too, in just a second.

But it was a hallmark of the Straw Hat’s to defy fate whenever they could. Facing impossible odds was what made them what they were, what some of them still are, even to this day.

Sanji could still feel the backdrop of despair, the desperation that held dominion over his heart and mind. But he wasn’t alone anymore.

“Forgive my discourtesy, navigator- _san_. I felt that it was necessary to give our bard a voice, for he does not have one of his own anymore. And .. Nami ..”, her use of her real name was something out of the orderly. What was happening? Had it been Robin’s voice, the female voice that answered with a ‘yes’, shortly before the song was played?

“I beg your forgiveness again, but I feel inclined to share his opinion.”

The bride’s face went pale as she heard these words, she turned around to her former captain, her surrogate father, to look for help. She found him smiling. Not his signature, broad smile, though, but a thoughtful and reflective one. His voice resonated with it. Even though he was reunited with crew and crown again, it seemed as if his subconscious mind didn’t find cheerfulness fitting for the occasion.

“She is right, Nami. You do not belong here. You weren’t made for this life. Just take a look at yourself. The shivers that went through your body when Bink’s Sake was played. Your body still remembers where you’re supposed to be. You were born to sail this world, with us! We’ll always be with you, Nami, our dreams were made to complement each other’s.”

Sanji couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Robin AND Luffy both decided to speak up against her marriage instead of being staunch supporters of her choice?

An old saying told that even the darkest hours of the day were only preceding the break of dawn.

Three voices joined together to push the thick clouds apart, as to make way for the sun’s rays to grace the earth once again. They were not alone.

The cook’s head twirled around as he heard another chair being pushed back, another person standing up for what he thought was the right thing. He had put on his black sunglasses, possibly to cover the fact that he was crying an endless river of tears. No one was tricked by that, yet he went with it.

“Sis, sis, I’m sorry! So sorry! I arrived to support you, I’m still here to do that! It is just my heart that’s telling me that the backing you need should lead you into another direction! Freedom, sis, is what you need! Sailing the Blues again, visiting strange islands, drawing your maps right where their source is, that’s the freedom I’m talking about! I just can’t help the feeling that you’re chaining yourself by going through with this marriage, you’re giving up your freedom and condemn yourself to a prison cell with a nice view.”

_Luffy .. Robin .. Franky .. even Brook from beyond the grave. Is that really what all of you think? Didn’t .. didn’t we come to help her? Or is this what you consider helping? Now, all of a sudden, we’re acting like .. like family again. Did something happen? Is none of you able to remember the past? These terrible days that tore us apart? Why, now, do you want to bring them back? I don’t understand .._

Franky didn’t waver, an impressive sight to behold and reason enough for Luffy to finally show his smile again. Was the past coming back to life again? Even if it was, not all about this was good. When his eyes found the goddess again, it was clear as day that she was close to tears. Maybe because she felt betrayed by her friends. The very same friends she invited to have their support while moving on to a new life. That was most likely, wasn’t it? Her skin was pale, her eyes watery, yet she didn’t speak. Maybe because she knew that right now, she wouldn’t have control over her voice. A welcome opportunity for .. the next one to stand up.

Even in his small form, the impact his voice made was clearly visible as most of the groom’s side of guests sharply inhaled. Contrary to that, children found it incredibly cute, but that didn’t take the gravity from his words.

“Nami, when we were young, we all set out to see the world, to chase our dreams as if there was no tomorrow. I .. I just know that you haven’t forgotten what you were once dreaming of. I’m sure that you haven’t forgotten all the things we lived through, that brought us together, forged bonds that would never truly break. It is not only your purpose that’s still out there, it’s not only your dreams that have been buried alive! It’s not too late, Nami, not at all! A .. a friend told me that we’re still young enough to change our ways again. Our dreams are still waiting out there, on the sea. If we don’t even try to seize them now, they’ll be gone forever. I’ve known you for many years now, Nami, and it’s the same for you as for the rest of us. If we don’t take the opportunity that is given to us right at this moment, we will spend the rest of our lives asking the same question every day: What could have been? I, for one, would never be able to forgive myself, letting the chance pass to just know what life has still in store for us.”, the small reindeer was taking a deep breath, the smallest and youngest of them all was a shining example of what idealism really meant. Having travelled with them, he knew how to reach their hearts. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more! Another put his strength to the test against the rising tide. His voice echoed in these halls and in the cook’s mind aswell.

“He’s right, Nami. You know that as well as I do, as all of us do. Whatever action you’re taking, it’s just a band-aid to keep the things you earnestly desire at bay.”, some voices from the groom’s side were trying to interrupt him, only to be .. looked at. And within this instant, all the stories he told about himself became nothing but the truth. A terrifying warrior that sailed all over the Grand Line, facing down monsters and tyrants, pushing onward into the gaping mouth of the abyss itself. It wasn’t quite the famed Colour of the Conquering King, no, but the easily forgotten yet still burning spirit of a mighty warrior of the sea, easily overshadowed when compared to the inhuman strength of his former crew mates, but a shining beacon of might when standing on its own. In fact, reaching this state of mind, reflecting it within his deeds, could have even been considered more than the monstrous strength that his captain, the swordsman and the cook were famous for. Because he was just a man, yet he still gave no quarter.

The brave knew fear, but despite it, they fought on.

“Nami, we’re not going to live forever, but don’t we owe it to our dreams to go on, to carry the flame for those about to follow? Forgive me, Nami, but a recent revelation .. just puts me into a position that is close to yours. I have more reason to stay than I could explain right now, yet I still hear the call. It’s been growing louder ever since we were separated and I’m sure that it’s going to consume my heart if I don’t act according to it. It’s been too long, but our time has come again. Allow yourself to act. And .. as a last, humble request from someone who has been your friend over all these years, please, I beg for you to find .. find forgiveness in your heart. Not for our sake, not even for his, but for yours. Your heart might be mended through forgiveness. Give it a chance to breathe again. It will remember.”

_Forgiveness .. what’s he talking about .._

Seeing all of his old friends again, making a stand to do what’s right, he felt as if he was going back in time. Back then, this was what they did. They were game changers and breakers, no matter the situation. All of them together had the power to force the winds of destiny to change its course. A tyrant of terrifying power was no match for the combined strength of the Straw Hats, even when the sun was out of sight, they still carried the torch. Not only for themselves, but for everyone around. Freedom was for everyone, injustice had to be fought. Every life had a right to follow its dreams. Back then, when their hearts were will pounding as one.

_It’s not enough. It can never be enough. All the things I did can never be forgiven. This attempt is futile._

His heart wasn’t into his thoughts, though. Yet he was unable to speak up. A fact that did not go unnoticed.

“Do I have to fight all of your battles, idiotic, weak erocook?”

_Even .. even that one? But should .. should I really be surprised? He always stood when it was necessary._

That was indeed what he was doing, not only pushing his chair back, but rising with such an outburst of force that it was thrown to the ground. His face a reflection of both annoyance, irritation and genuine care for those around him. A rare mixture, but perfectly fitting for this man.

“Guess that after this is over, you’re going to charge me big time, woman. But witnessing that **some** of us are still unable to find their backbone, I’m without option. Our _nakama_ are right. This is not what you were born to do, yet they somehow forget one more important fact. One that I remember all too well. Coming here, I didn’t know what to expect of your groom, to be honest, but having met him I can say that .. well, he’s a nice guy, promising you a safe future. Nami, that’s neither what you want nor what you need. Am I the only one who’s able to recall your face and all the tears you cried when this thrice-damned erocook left the crew? Am I the only one who couldn’t have a nap because he heard you crying? Goddamn, Nami! I know it and you know it, too! The man you’re about to marry isn’t half as big as he needs to be to fill the blank spaces that this idiot left! 

I’m not going to beg your forgiveness for telling you the damn truth, woman. And neither am I going to waste the rest of my life regretting that I remained silent when I was supposed to speak up. You damn well hear the storm outside, don’t you? I know that your heart’s longing to fight it, to navigate a ship through it, to show that we’re superior to everything this world can throw at us! It pains me to see that you’re too stubborn to admit it! It pains me that the both of you are still too god damn stubborn to go where the wind takes you! I’m not your fucking parent, I can’t and won’t tell you which way to go, but I can’t be the only one who knows that we were born to go wherever life will lead us. Believe me, I’m regretting this step even in this very moment, but you just have to open your damn eyes to see the truth.”

His face had become red from all the suppressed and now finally freed fury that was raging through his body and mind. Now, he raised a hand to point at Sanji before he continued.

“This man, Nami, is the one you’re looking for. Gods know what must be wrong with you, but he’s the one you’re looking for. And you’re the one he’s wasting his life dreaming of. How could I ever come to respect this idiot again without the strength he used to have? **YOU,** god damn woman, were the fire that raged in his soul! And he was all the shelther you ever needed! You can’t be so blind as to make this unseen.

Picture home, Nami, just do it for a damn moment! Picture home! What is it that you see? A big old house in the countryside? I bet it’s not! We are where you’re at home! The Sunny, the smell of tangerines in the air, the water’s salt on your tongue and within your nostrils! This is what you consider home. Riding on top of a storm, besting the tempests like a deranged, mad goddess with some damn knight at your side! Just admit it, woman, and keep in mind that whatever you say, there’s no going-back from that. But .. but also keep in mind that however deep you’re going to fall if you take this step, we’re here to catch you, we will soften your fall. Until the last of our days.

You are the spark, Nami, but what good is a spark without kindling? Come back home.”

Sanji couldn’t believe the things he just witnessed. It was too much, took him by surprise and the unexpected heat that the swordsman put into his words was more than he could ever hope for. It was not as much that hope had been given to his heart, no, but the sheer force of their combined speeches had burned out the dominating hopelessness that had settled for his heart and mind. Control over his body was gone when he himself rose. It didn’t end there. His steps were staggering, aiming for the space that was left open between the sides of bride and groom. Somewhere in his subconscious mind, he knew that his was the place he was supposed to be. One last time in the spotlight before an inevitable demise.

_If it really is inevitable. Could it be that my mind has become so accustomed to the thought that I am unable to see another way out of this situation? A thousand and more words have been spoken, they have been thought. Was it speaking to the marimo that set things in motion? Was it her invitation? Our paths might not be predetermined by destiny or any other higher force, but the things set in motion could have hardly occured at random. These pieces were made to fit together perfectly. Robin was her maid of honour, I don’t think that it had been her plan all along to talk her out of the wedding. Luffy’s spirit was broken, up until the very moment he was reunited with the crown that has always been his. Franky, Chopper, Usopp .. I don’t know. I didn’t know that they cared so much, even though I should have._

All eyes were on him when he met the center of his ‘stage’. But except for the loveliest pair of two brown eyes, they did not mean anything to him. These past thirty minutes or so where enough of a time for him to make a decision. He came back from the verge of breaking, walked away from the abyss, molded with the always prevalent yet new found knowledge of companionship that strengthened his back, that poured fuel into the smouldering embers of his soul.

_If I go, I’ll go with a clear conscience. I will go with the knowledge that I’ve given my all. Might it be that I’m not standing all alone?_

The one appropriate thing to do was to fall to his knees. After all, he was a knight trying to have semi-religious dialogue with the goddess he swore to serve.

“Nami- _san .._ if it is your will, these words of mine shall be the last for you to ever hear from my mouth. I will gladly abide your wish, as I always have. My only request is for my voice to be heard. One last time.”

Another murmur went through the groom’s side, this time though, it was more prevalent than before. All the others had spoken up against the marriage, yet they were ‘just’ friends. Something about this man, his kneeling, his language and the look of utter, selfless admiration on his face, made him stand out of the crowd. He was not just another friend, but a contestant! Someone who might have had it in his hands to change the course of this day. In retrospective, everybody must have known. Even the  _marimo_ , as he was the one who finally managed to make him raise his voice. 

“We’ve all heard it now, you’re against my son’s marriage. Now sit down and let them commence, your concerns have been heard and none will pay any more attention to them!”, the enraged voice of an elderly man was raised, obviously being Cassian’s father. His face was red with enragedness and his voice was venom. The woman to his left, who might have been quite beautiful in her younger days, was red with anger aswell, but only nodded to her supposed husband’s remarks. Others followed.

“What an impudent whelp!”

“Who does he think he is?!”

“Let’s just get this over with and throw him out, shall we?”

All these words made the next voice even more remarkable. It might have been the long-haired clergyman’s duty to speak up against them, to tell them that their traditions dictated for everyone to be heard, yet he shrouded himself in silence. Instead, the most unlikely person of them all rushed to his aid. A voice that demanded obedience, even from those who most likely stood above the speaker, used by the one man his mind had fashioned as the enemy’s accursed champion.

“Father, dear friends, I admire your defence of this marriage, but I want you - I need you - to remain silent.

I want this man to be heard. Here, before the eyes and ears of gods and men. I might not like the prospect of his speech, but in front of you kneels a man who knows that adversity and existence are one and the same. Of his past, I know nothing. Yet I am able to see a mountain that defies the consuming sea.”

It is absolutely needless to say that his words sent a shock through everyone present. Immediate stillness fell upon the room. His parents went pale, words that were about to be spoken faced eternal damnation. Robin’s eyes widened, as did Luffy’s smile. The only face he wasn’t able to read was the one of the bride herself. Too many emotions rushed through her eyes.

“May your words be heard, my friend. Make them count.”

An unexpected turn of events, an uneasy alliance even .. so confusing indeed, that Sanji lost his ability to speak for a few seconds. Were the gods mocking him?

_You’ve been given a chance. Make the most of it. The only way to earn salvation is to endure. The terrors that haunt us at night are nothing but rain in the forest, but fog before sunrise. I .. I feel it. Every inch of my body resonates with their words. I was standing at the very precipice of oblivion for so long that I had all but forgotten about the light. I am not alone. I never was._

“Nami- _san_ , it feels as if I’m reliving countless dreams. For hours and days uncounted, I thought of nothing but this day. Not only your marriage, but being reunited with you. A million words and sentences raced through my mind, some of them I thought true, others just an illusion. But being face to face with you again, I realise that none of them mattered. Retelling all the things I thought up would slander this event, they would be an insult to you.

Originally, I arrived to support you. I was willing to suffer until the end of my days to see you smile once again, Nami- _san._ And if that is your wish, I’m still willing to do just that. I .. I just needed to let you know that no matter how many years pass, no matter how many miles we were and might be apart, my beating heart will never stop seeing you as what you are. In the past, I have given you the title of a princess, a queen, a goddess among unworthy men. These still remain true, but I had yet to awake to the most genuine of truths:

Man can live without all of these. Man will live on without a sovereign, even without a divine hand that guides him. But there is one thing, not even a material one, that cannot be lived without.

Home.

You are what my heart considers home, Nami- _san._ The one place I can’t live without. I’ve travelled far and wide, lived in many places and got to know as many and more people, yet you are the one that my heart is yearning for. Every time I close my eyes, it is shouting out your name into the darkness. Even when I thought that all was lost, my stubborn heart could not be hushed. 

It is nothing but the truth, Nami- _san_ , when I say that your name alone will be the last word that leaves my mouth. The last thought that will run through my dying mind. Step by step, little by little, your name alone has been carved onto my heart. Falling before you, I feel no shame to admit this. You alone are all I want, all I need. You are home. The sum of all of my dreams. Your eyes are the real All Blue, the vastness of your heart gives shelter from the storm and nourishes any hunger, past or future. Next to the depths of your mind, I need to tread carefully as to not get lost. Nothing and no one will ever compare to you, Nami- _san._

And .. I fear that this might not be enough, but it is all I have to offer. For a brief moment, the blink of an eye on a cosmic scale, our hearts had decided to beat as one. I was reborn into a light I never knew existed, all because of you. Whatever happens now, Nami- _san_ , however you decide, I need you to know that I’m grateful for the moments we shared. You granted me a glimpse of Heaven that I will never forget and cherish until my last breath. 

Forgive my impudence if you find it in your heart, Nami- _san._

I love you. I will always love you.”

 


	11. Catharsis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's quite a long chapter because I did have a lot of ideas on how to tie loose ends. Here's hoping that I did it in a satisfactory way. There will also be a chapter 11,5, but don't worry, it's not gonna be nearly as long and will focus on people who have been out of focus for the whole story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearly there, lads and lasses. After I don't know how many years since I started this fic, we're nearly at the end. Isn't that great? To be perfectly honest with you, I don't know. After having the thought of it in the back of my mind, it kinda feels wrong to end it because to someone, somewhere, it's not gonna be satisfying. But that's the way all fictions goes, right? Someone will always complain, you can't please everyone and that shouldn't even be your aim. Thus I'm going to try to settle with less. If there is only one person around here who really enjoyed the story up to this point, I am truly happy and the joy I brought to you means the world to me. 
> 
> And because I still have like 4,3k characters left for these notes, I'd like to thank some people (in some cases, again) because while likes and favs and kudos are great, the biggest show of appreciation for a writer is if you left a comment. But don't worry if you didn't, we're still cool.
> 
> In no particular order:  
> EastBlue on ff.net - I don't know if you're still around, but your kind words and encouragement were some of the main reasons I continued writing this. When it comes down to the wire and we're talking about one single person liking this story as a whole, I hope it is you. 
> 
> DWatson on Ao3 - I can vividly remember this one rainy day I was sitting in the library and didn't know what to do with myself, but then I read your comment and holy shit, it nearly made me tear up. So much for being a manly man, right? Even though I never heard of you after that comment, I thank you dearly for it and do hope that you find the rest of the story to your liking.
> 
> Renillion on ff.net - Don't know what to say, mate, we kinda got out of touch somewhere along the line, but I enjoyed our conversations very much and I hope you're doing well.
> 
> PintedPatrich on Ao3 - You're another one of these people who managed to really warm my heart with your appreciative words, and another one that I hope will like this chapter. Nobody suffers forever, right? Not even Sanji.
> 
> Alaznesweeran on tumblr and Ao3 - Hey, what can I say? I dearly hope you know how much I appreciate your every word regarding my stories. All the best to you. That and I do hope that you'll come out with some more stories of your own as I always enjoyed reading them.
> 
> luteolousMonkey on Ao3 - You were basically the last person I had contact with when it came to my fics and our small conversation and your encouragement helped me cope with all the bullshit that's going on within the One Piece fandom. It is very, very much appreciated and my hope is that you'll find some delight in this new chapter. See you around, I hope.
> 
> Saorii D. Nightray on ff.net - Well, I honestly do think that your comment is the reason I really put my mind into writing Chapter XI and actually started writing something. I don't know what else to say but thank you.
> 
> the_SicknessxD_96 on Ao3 - You know how there's sometimes people who jump into your life, do one really impressive thing or say something that really moves you and then you never hear from them again? As is the same with others on this list I don't know if you're still around, but if you are: This one's for you. And even if you're not, this is the internet. Maybe you'll find it some day, mate. I can't thank you enough for your words.

**Chapter XI – Catharsis**

 

_The woods are lovely, dark and deep,_

_But I have promises to keep,_

_And miles to go before I sleep,_

_And miles to go before I sleep._

 

**Robert Frost – Stopping by Woods an a Snowy Evening**

 

'Too much' didn't even start to catch the absolute gravity of the current situation. To say the least, it was easy for her to imagine the world crumbling into pieces again, just like it happened many years ago. There she was, thinking that her life was good if only for different reasons until all of it went downhill again.

 

_We are where you're at home._

_Picture home._

_I love you. I will always love you._

 

The words resounded in her head, loud enough to deafen the angry voices outside. The guests were mad and enraged words were exchanged between them and .. well, mostly Zoro. Her spouse's father, that didn't surprise her, was the loudest of them all. His words didn't even manage the scratch the surface of her perception, his red face was bound to be a sidenote of little interest in whatever way she would remember this day. There were more important things to care about. To think about.

 

At first, her gaze caught Cassian's face. Fair, noble and composed, his kind eyes fixed to the ground. He remained the exact same man that she got to know throughout their relationship, the shadow of a sad smile on his slender lips. These exact same lips that had kissed her, declared his love for her and, finally, asked for her hand in marriage seemed to know what was about to happen, prepared to accept every possible outcome with dignity.

 

_Picture home._

 

She thought about these words once again, now more aware than ever what they actually meant. This mansion wasn't home, no matter how much she wanted to force it. This family wasn't home, no matter how friendly and welcoming they had been. And .. Cassian wasn't home.

No matter how much she had tried to feel at home in his arms, no matter how beautiful the days were, his gestures, his words. She saw the open sea in her dreams, she embraced it in her heart. Cassian had been a safe harbour when she was in dire need of one and now that she finally realised it, she felt like an utterly horrible person. In her past, when she was still a slave to Arlong's wishes, she took advantage of many people, but she was always able to drown her feelings of guilt with the knowledge that it was for the greater good. For her people.

This time, it was different. The way she saw it now, Cassian had been made a victim of her need for safety. Deep down, he might even have always known.

 

_And the worst part? He won't even be mad at me. He won't shout at me. He won't say that he never wants to see my stupid face again. I wish that we could just fight our way out of here._

 

The thought of it made her smile. An honest smile, the first one that went over her lips since the cermony had started. Usually, her first impulse in the face of danger was to retreat behind someone's back, actually trying to plan on how to fight back. It was unintentionally funny how her thinking had changed. But mere seconds later, the thought vanished and so did her smile. Nami shuddered as a mighty gust of wind crashed into the mansion and managed to blow one of the heavy wooden doors open, just long enough for everyone to easily guess the storm's strength. Long enough to send an eerie howling through these halls. Long enough for a white cat to sneak in, that nobody but her seemed to pay any mind to, as the guests were too busy with closing the door again, putting their strength against the tempest.

 

Nami's eyes searched for Cassian again, the sight of him nearly overwhelming her with guilt. Guilt that she always felt when she was sleeping in his arms. How could she possibly tell him that her heart always longed for the open sea, for her crew?

_Don't start lying to yourself now. It doesn't matter what you say to him, if this is indeed farewell, it matters how you will remember yourself. Excuses, white lies, kind words .. what's it going to be, girl?_

 

To her, it felt like running in circles. She had always been proud of the sharpness of her mind, her intellect, but there seemed to be no way of stopping it. The look on his face said more than a thousand words, her guilt over having used him came next and, finally, she asked herself the same question over and over again. What's it going to be, girl?

 

Nami might have actually been able to find a solution to this problem, just given enough time. But her problems didn't stop there. When she finally found enough strength within her to remove her gaze from Cassian's face, it wandered off to the other man. Was he the reason that she could just not allow her to embrace the safety of marriage, the opportunity for a bright – if a little unexciting – future?

 

 _No._ She answered the question decidedly. There were a great many things that this blonde idiot could be accused with, as he was a man of many flaws, but it wasn't his fault that even after all these years, her heart still knew his name. On the good days, it only hummed it like a melody, but on days such as this, it was shouting it. Under different circumstances, she would have dropped literally everything to return to the sea. With her family, him at her side. Unfortunately, she didn't find herself under the influence of different circumstances. This day was supposed to be her wedding day and not the day that she betrayed the love and trust her husband-to-be had offered her for the past years.

 

Conscience could be a beast. When at first she hoped that the weight of her guilt would lighten up the moment she didn't have to see Cassian's face, it happened to be even worse when confronted with these eyes that were as deep and blue as the open sea, swollen from hidden tears, his hair that once had been the colour of the sun. Without a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, he almost seemed naked to her. A child, not a man to crash into a wedding to steal another one's wife, even though she could hardly believe that any of these events were planned. The same way that nobody could control the weather, no one was able to change or even influence the winds of fate.

 

_Under different circumstances .. all of you .._

 

Again, her gaze wandered off, maybe aimlessly, maybe unconsciously willing to look into a face that would not force the guilt of the entire world upon her shoulders. Seemingly everyone present had taken one side or the other. Her former crew, of course, wanted nothing more than to leave for the sea again to enjoy the endless blue and the adventures it offered. Together, the same family they used to be. To achieve this, even Zoro had spoken up to take the cook's side. Sometimes, it was life's turn to imitate art. In a great many books she read, even in some of the stage plays she had seen, there were these incredibly rare moments when a character with established, sometimes even comic relief traits, broke out of his usual habits. Many times, it meant that these characters took a situation more seriously than before. It actually surprised her that the man cared as much as the others did. If not more. His words alone didn't understate the involvement of the others, though.

Hearing _Bink's Sake_ after all these years again nearly made her think that Brook was still with them, wanting the best for his newfound family even from beyond the grave, proving that not even the veil that separated the living and the dead was strong enough to keep the memories of a loved one at bay. It must have been Robin's idea, her ability to read people's true intentions made her border on being a clairevoyante. That and she wasn't the kind of woman that would rudely interrupt a ceremony such as this with a temper. What Nami didn't know was how exactly she persuaded the band to disrupt the ceremony, but, all things considered, it did hardly matter. Even without the song, without the singing, without her feeling at home for the first time in ages, someone would have spoken up, and other voices would have followed. It made things all the more difficult. Again, she thought about how every single person in this room seemed to have taken either one side or the other. What was worse was that both sides were actually right about something.

 

Her friends did not have strong feelings about Cassian, at least as far as she knew. To them, he wasn't Cassian, he wasn't the heir of a venerable family, the good man she had come to accept as her husband. No, to them, he was just her husband-to-be, just another obstacle that had to be overcome until they could leave this harbour once and for all. But to her, even though she finally began to realise that he wasn't the man she was still truly, madly and deeply in love with, he was still so much more. It wasn't just the safety he offered her when her when she was in dire need of it, not the generous and amicable way he treated the servants or how welcoming he was towards her friends, he was even better than that. And with every passing second another thought about him crossed her mind. Cassian insisted on finding a perfect place for her greatest treasure, her tangerine trees, personally. He didn't care about getting soaked in the rain or figuratively burning under the brightest sun, the only thing that mattered to him was that these trees were important to her. That was even before she told him why she held them so dearly. It only seemed to be adding insult to injury that even now he was trying to calm his father down. Even in an hour as dark as this one, he held on to the selflessness that was so rare within aristocratic families, a trait that she genuinely admired with all her heart. It was her bad luck again that she just had to be honest to herself once in a while, and this meant that she had to admit to herself that this pure admiration of some, if not most of his character traits, did only mean that she admired him. Not that she loved him.

 

_If anyone's got an ace in the hole, I'd be more than willing to use it._

 

The chances for this wish to come true were as slim as one might imagine. One by one, her former crew members had left their seats with differing intentions. Usopp, Franky and Chopper tried their best to be voices of reason, but they were shouted down by Cassian's increasingly angry father. She didn't get anything, but there was talk about disowning him flying around. Robin was quietly talking to Zoro, probably to calm him down. Sometimes, when things didn't go their way just fast enough, he'd resort to violence. Engaged in combat with the marines or other pirates, this could be a very welcome sight, but not here, not today. Luffy, though, seemed to be more confused and aimless than before. To him, things were pretty clear. The captain knew that she wanted to return to the seas with them and he probably did not yet grasp the gravity of such a decision. If everything went according to him, she'd just have told Cassian that she did not want to marry him and they'd have left the mansion together. Sometimes, just sometimes, she wished that she could act with the same recklessness. Once again, her eyes grazed Sanji. Maybe he was the sole reason that she was never ready to let herself fall in love with Cassian? Was this even the right time to think about it? Even if not, she couldn't help herself but to contemplate the man who's gaze was fixed to the very floor she was standing on. He was the only former crewmate that she didn't have any contact with over the past years, but that did not mean that she was unaware of what was going on with his life. Magazines all over the four Blues covered the rise of this man, a cook, they wrote, gifted by the very Gods themselves. He prepared food for nobility as high as kings and commoners alike, and from every corner of the world, his dishes were praised as poetry served on a plate. The glamorous magazines only covered his ascent and one had to have a look at the less credible, indeed nearly pulpy magazines to get any knowledge regarding the fall of this star. Informations they provided were vague at best and absolutely unbelievable for the rest of the time, but they might have held some truth. An ongoing struggle with alcohol addiction and a taste for womanising went a long way to make his popularity with the aristocrats suffer.

 

_I wonder if he really managed to smooth-talk his way into the bed of a princess or a queen._

 

This idea didn't come from nowhere as she had read that in some corners of the earth, this gifted cook was regarded as a persona non grata. She quickly shook her head. Maybe there'd be a time to think, to talk about these matters. But not today. There were other problems in dire need to be handled first, one of them actually was .. Sanji. Nami wouldn't lie to herself and say that his words, their words did not move her heart, but she did not know if she was actually ready to jump off a marriage directly into a relationship with a man she hadn't seen for close to seven years. The memories of him were, even at the best of times, vivid, but she had asked herself on more than one occasion if she was just in love with the thought of a man from her past. Now that he was standing before her, everything was so .. different. Complicated. Maybe the two of them had to get to know each other once again. Then, she could make a decision. Possibly one that he might not approve of, but that was the way of these kinds of things. What that would lead to, she could not say. Quite frankly, Nami didn't even want to think about the many possible outcomes. Would they still be able to serve on the same ship, follow the same dreams? Would they break apart again, this time for good? Would it actually be her damn fault, because she might not want to be with their cook?

 

Nami took a deep breath and averted her gaze from the cook, desperately trying to find someone .. someone uninvested. And for the first time in what felt like hours, she met the eyes of the clergyman who solely arrived for the marriage. Nami would have understood a wide variety of expressions in the face of what was probably a very busy man, but not .. a kind and complacent smile on his face that extended to his eyes. The priest seemed to be giving not a single care in the world as he was kneeling down, petting the white stray cat that walked in when the door was blown open by the storm. It was quite an interesting sight to see: While nearly every other person present was engaged in some form of verbal dispute as of the most recent developments, the priest familiarised himself with an animal and was absentmindedly looking at her.

 

_Absolutely wonderful. There is only a single person in this entire hall who has not taken a site and .. it's not gonna help me in the least._

 

As Nami was about to look away, the clergyman's mind seemed to finally have decided to return to this world. He still smiled the same smile, yet his eyes had gained more focus. As he went back into a standing position, he stroked the cat's head one last time.

 

"Don't worry about him, we're old friends." She didn't know if these words were meant to confuse her even more and decided to simply ignore them. Taking a small step into his direction, the dam she put up around her inner turmoil began to leak as little tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. Deeply embarassed by this apparent weakness, she immediately regretted having approached him. Yet as he rose, she realised that her regrets came too late. What was she even supposed to say, to ask him? A new direction in life? Nami thought that she was supposed to be old enough to find her own way and by the looks of it, this man was about her age. How could he possibly know anything?

 

"Tell me about the burden you bear, my child." His voice alone took her aback. Contrasting his looks, it was surrounded by the air of wisdom that belied this youthful appearance. Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't all wrong about looking for help in her desperate situation. Yet her voice failed her, somehow, she wanted to tell him everything. About her past, their shared past, the divide and the thoughts that plagued her in this very moment, but her tongue betrayed these efforts and not even a whisper passed over her lips. Interestingly enough, she somehow had the feeling that there was no need for her to wrap the burden she carried in her heart and in her memories into words. Whatever it was that she needed to be said, maybe her expression explained more than enough on its own. The priest inclined his head slightly to the side whilst still smiling at her.

 

"I do understand the conflict that is raging within you, child. It was always stability you have been looking for, isn't that right?" Nami felt the cat brushing against her leg as he spoke and it sent a shiver down here spine. What in the name of everything holy was she doing here? The future she had been carefully building for the last years was crumbling everything around her and she listened to the words of someone who seemed to be living so far off from the average human that he was talking to cats. Even though, his words rang true in her head, but that wasn't something that she was unaware of. Ever since the adventures of the Straw Hat Pirates came to an end, she was looking for anything that would even promise the smallest sliver of stability in life.

 

"My dear, dear child .. how can you seek stability when life itself is only change? Could it be that you might have actually been looking for the wrong kind? Life is everything that happens around you. Every moment of every minute of every hour of every day. It is subject to change and the only time that it stops shifting is when your heartbeat forever grows still." He gesticulated towards the windows and as her eyes were sluggishly following his waving hand, she realised that the storm had passed the island over and the rays of a brilliant sun were already piercing the glass again.

 

"Change, Nami. These mighty walls might have protected you against the storm, but could you really say that they offered stability or just .. shelter, a place to hide from the winds and the rain? I heavily doubt that you were thinking of a lair, a prison of sorts, when the word flashed before your inner eye. The kind of stability you yearn for lives only within you and within the people you choose to be with. Be well aware, sweet child: My old friend introduced me to the very vital information that while one storm has passed, another one is already on the rise. Terrible, powerful and strengthened by aeons and .. memories. Be swift and sure, for this light you see, this warmth you feel, it is indeed hope. But if you don't nourish it, it shall expire and with it, your dreams."

 

_Has he gone absolutely mad or .. could it be that he's the real deal? I don't know about that, it's probably not important in any way, shape or form. The priest has a point, and if there is indeed another storm on the horizon, I .. I know with whom I want to face it. With my family. My true family._

 

"Did you manage to talk some sense into her, Father?!" Little by little, her mind left the shell it was hiding in, ready and willing to take on the difficult task of .. of breaking Cassian's heart.

 

"Oh, but I do hope so", and as Nami and the priest shared a last glance, whatever conviction he might have seen in her face seemed to satisfy him. Kneeling down for a moment, he picked up the stray cat and whispered a few words in its ear, words that only Nami and the cat itself could hear. "Shall we then, brother? I wouldn't want to miss the _grande finale_ , especially after all these years of waiting." And, just like that with the cat still on his arms, the priest went straight for the door and left the hall, leaving the door open as if to allow the rays of the sun to further conquer the mansion .. her selfimposed prison.

Even Cassian's father was left speecheless, if only for a moment. Without giving him the chance to explode into enraged words and maybe deeds again, Nami finally made her move and took the wind from his sails with ease.

 

"I'm sorry", she began, struggling to find and sustain the right volume for everyone to hear her and without having to shout. Now that the beautiful bride had spoken, even the children went silent. All eyes were on her. _Quick and painless, just like one would do it with a patch. Better to end something with a scare than enduring a scare without an end._

 

Her eyes met Cassians and she repeated herself, tears running down her face. "I am so incredibly sorry. But I .. I can't marry you. Not today, not ever." And there it was, finally out, finally being spoken to him and not to herself. People gasped all around her, seemingly not being able to process this information. It was good for her, since no one had yet found his voice to shout her down.

 

"Cassian .. it .. forgive me, if you find it in your heart. You have given so much to me and I will never be able to repay it. The warmth and safety you provided me with when no one else would .. I can't even start to count all the things you've given to me just out of the goodness of your heart. It's all my fault, Cassian. I mistook the safety I felt for love. Or .. or at least for something which could grow into love. It .. did not. It was never meant to be. Not while the sea is calling my name. Not while I still dream. Cassian, I'm so incredibly sorry .. but I don't see you in my dreams. I need to return to the open waters. Not .. not for another man .. or with another man. For myself and my family. There is so much more that I need to tell you, but .. today, something that should never have begun will end."

 

As the last word left her mouth, time slowed down to a crawl. Something more than adrenaline seemed to be heightening her senses to unknown degrees, and yet she still struggled to perceive everything that happened around her. Cassian didn't even move as he was listening, only his soft smile flickered when he fully began to understand the gravity of her words. Sanji, who was still standing only a few meters away from her, sobbed nearly without sound when he realised that while she would return to the crew, she did not intend to return to his arms and Nami immediately felt deeply sorry for that. After she had broken the promise of marriage, she just couldn't force herself to make another one, even moreso to another man. It has just been too long and she knew that there was still a change of simply being in love with the memory of a man she might have never really known.

She could see tears of joy in the eyes of her others. Chopper, Luffy and Franky where smiling from ear to ear, Usopp kissed his Kaya and while carefully caressing her belly and only then did she realise that the new informations he had received might mean that he was becoming a father soon. Even the normally so emotionally distances Nico Robin whiped a single tear from the corner of her eye. And Zoro? He just sat there, arms crossed in front of his chest and his single healthy eye closed. _Has he fallen asleep?_ quickly crossed her mind.

 

" **You impudent woman! Cassian gave you everything and you're spitting in his face!** " She had already expected the furious voice of Cassian's father. Even in the past, without knowing who she really was, his parents were already suspicious of their marriage, and even though she could very well understand why, it still managed to hurt her feelings from time to time. After all, Cassian was the scion of an aristocratic and venerable family. Young, intelligent and good looking, he was the perfect material for marriage when it came to other families of the same social standing, yet he decided to ask for the hand of a woman without a past, the same woman that was now leaving him. It was as if to add insult to injury that he still continued to defend her.

 

"Enough of that, father." It was more than obvious to everyone that Cassian was struggling to keep his composure, yet his words carried enough weight with them that the voices of many enraged complainers fell silent. "Nami might not be my betrothed anymore, much less my wife, but she and her friends are still my guests", he forced himself to cough into his fist, averting his gaze from the surrounding people just for a moment to collect himself before he continued.

"And because of this, I will not suffer anymore insults aimed at her or her .. family. Yes, a promise has been broken and it .. it ..", he swallowed and coughed again, increasingly struggling against the fate that had befallen his wedding. But he did not break. "It pains me deeply to let you go. To let you go, Nami, and it might still hurt in years and years to come. But it was never and will never be my wish to put you in chains." He addressed his father once more.

 

"Can't you feel her fire? Her wild spirit, longing for adventure? This and only this is the reason I fell for her. Because she was .. no, she **is** the antithesis to everything I grew up with and wanted to get rid off in my youth. Through her, I had a taste of pure freedom and I will never forget that. I will not allow anyone to tarnish these feelings. Not you, not mother, not any of your guests."

 

These words only seemed to enrage his father even further. Not only did the honour of his family suffer because a no good piece of a woman backed out of marrying his son in the last second, no, now even his soon showed his true colours in disobedience. From this point on, everything could have happened. And it did, kind of. Though not in a reasonable way that one might have expected.

 

The heavy wooden door was thrown open again and the abruptness of it sent a shiver down Nami's spine. Were it really just here heightened senses that felt the urgency that filled the air when the door was opened? It took only a second for the door to reveal a young man, maybe a servant of the house, gasping for breath and supporting his upper body against the doorframe. After endless seconds he managed to get his message across, even though it was obvious that he struggled through every word that left his mouth, his voice always on the verge of breaking.

 

"Ha-Ha .. **HARBOUR! Monster!** " These were his only words before he collapsed out of exhaustion and they didn't fail to get a response from the crowd. Nami knew that many guests here had never faced a sea king or other giant creatures that lived in the sea, even when they travelled from island to island. An imposing army of bodyguards or even soldiers were usually at hand to deal with any threat whatsoever. Not this time, though. The island they were currently on was a thriving port and merchants from all the four Blues travelled here because the trade routes were secured by the Marines. They probably weren't as heavily fortified as everything that was even close to the Holy Land Mary Geoise, but one could get the picture. Rarely did someone hire bodyguards around these parts, as that would have been a waste of money. Pirates were a rare sight and no one had witnessed anything larger than a whale in a hundred years.

 

"A monster?! Let's see it!" Nami had to forcefully supress a broad smile when she heard those words. Some things in this world never changed. One of them was her captain. Luffy had already left his seat and minute by minute, the past years vanished from his face. With every friend that spoke up, his youthful energy returned. With every family member that rejoined the crew, a little more of the old Luffy was to be seen in his face.

 

_It really has been too long. Are we finally allowed to act?_

 

And by the gods or any other power that might have existed outside of what humanity saw as natural, they were. Within seconds, old instincts took over and forced them onto their feet. "Take care, my love. We'll be waiting for you." Nami looked to the side and saw how Kaya and Usopp exchanging one last kiss. Chopper was the first one of them to reach the door. "If the monster is attacking the harbour, people might have been hurt! We need to hurry!" The little reindeer would never, ever change. And this was a good thing as he united both Dr. Hiluluk's idealism with Dr. Kureha's skill, he'd never leave a cry for help unanswered, no matter the cost. Franky, Luffy and Zoro followed closely behind him. It was obvious that Franky wanted to save some of the ships anchoring because they somehow had to leave this island, Luffy being Luffy didn't really think that far in the future and really just wanted to see another monster. Zoro .. Zoro was itching for a fight. Nami didn't know nor did she really care how long he had to go without having the opportunity to put his once superior skills to the test against an equally imposing enemy. She turned around and locked eyes with Cassian. There was still much more she could have told him, but remaining here any longer had the potential of hurting him even more. Her lips formed a silent 'Goodbye' and the last thing she saw of him was his smile. He was not content with this situation and might never be, yet he was a big enough man to know that sometimes, if you wanted two people to be happy, they'd need to be happy apart from one another. When Nami was about to turn towards the door, she suddenly stopped in her tracks. One of them didn't move and wasn't filled with the same energy and joy as the others.

 

_What I said must have hurt him .. oh, Sanji-kun .._

 

She had to supress the urge of just going straight toward him, taking his hand and leading him outside. Both of them needed time, they needed to get to know each other again and only then could they decide how life would be going on. The former bride feared that the moment she touched him, her mind would lose the battle with her heart and she might just kiss him on the spot. She didn't want it to start like that, especially not in front of Cassian. To her luck, Zoro didn't care too much about his physical well-being and grabbed him borderline-violently by the shoulder, carrying him with them whilst spouting his usual insults at him.

 

 

The reformed crew only needed close to fifteen minutes to reach the harbour, yet it was almost too late to save anything or anyone. Whatever this monster was, the only thing it left was destruction. Many a proud ship had recently been sunk, almost all buildings in the nearest vicinity of the water had been razed to the ground. They were lucky to run into a group of survivors in hiding. Running head first into adventure did mostly work out for them, but it was nothing but tempting fate to take this thing head on after it destroyed most of the harbour area in less than an hour. Nami noted to herself that all the destruction stood in stark contrast with the absolutely marvellous and radiant sun that had conquered the firmament after the storm went by. She knew that it probably meant little and less, yet she felt stronger just because of its powerful presence.

 

"It was terrible, I tell you! We have to leave this place and find safety in the surrounding areas, maybe the woods!" One of the survivors was shouting at them. A hardened old sailor he was, yet his body was shaking as if he suffered from hypothermia. "It came over us like the storm that preceded it, groaning with a voice as deep as the sea and within minutes, it crushed and tore apart every armed ship! Some fools tried to fight it, bringing their cannons into position, their rifles, their pistols! It was no good, I'm telling you! No good! There is no hope to defeat that thing! We need to hide!"

 

Zoro was grinding his teeth behind them, his hands lying on his hips where his swords should have been. "You got your Clima-Tact, Nami? Usopp, you got your Kabuto at hand?" The question was posed in vain. None of them was armed and Franky's cola reserves seemed to be running dangerously low. Chopper went through his pockets and produced a single rumbleball. "I doubt that three minutes of my monster form will be enough to beat down whatever it is that laid waste to the area. Still, it might be our best shot." Nami nodded and .. felt useless. Without her Clima-tact, she was nearly as weak as a normal human being. She wouldn't let these feelings stop their advance, though.

 

"Okay guys, we have three minutes of Chopper's monster form and Robin's abilities. Franky, will you be able to fight?" The look on his face was enough of an answer.

 

"Sorry sis" he began. "But unless it's starting to rain Cola, I won't even be able to hold up for even half a minute." That was a disheartening information. Even their Monster Trio remained silent. Zoro was probably still in good shape, but without having his swords at hand, who knew how much of a menace he could be to whatever they were about to face? Luffy, even though he worked as a bouncer, wasn't anywhere near the tip top physical condition he was when their adventures ended many years ago. And Sanji? After seeing how depressed he was when they they left the mansion and seeing him now, Nami feared that he might not be in a position to fight at all. That left only Luffy, Zoro and Robin in any condition to seriously fight and Chopper had a time limit that they couldn't afford to waste unless it was for a certain win. All things considered, they fought worse odds. On the downside, neither she nor her crewmates did not against what kind of monster they were going up against. It was an unfortunate occurance that this was not the only downside she saw. With every passing minute, a strange feeling in her stomach grew worse and worse, up to the point that she felt like vomiting. If the others felt the same, they did not show it. Zoro was as stoic as ever and even Luffy showed his usual seriousness before a fight. Sanji again .. he seemed to be getting worse. After they had pointed the survivors into a direction of relative safety, he sat down and supported his head on with his arms, blonde hair covering the rest of his face. Was there something more that was distracting him? It surprised her even more that he didn't have a cigarette between his lips.

 

_There is something more to him than what happened at my .. almost-wedding. I wonder if he feels it, too._

 

She didn't have to wait for an answer. While still staring at the ground, he raised his voice a little. It hurt Nami to hear just how .. off he sounded. Neither passion nor conviction were found within his words or voice, just plain resignation.

 

"Luffy .. marimo, Usopp .. can't you sense it? Have you already forgotten? It's only been a few years and this cursed aura isn't haunting your dreams every night?!" Towards the end of it , he grew louder. Not in a furious way, but in an increasingly desperate tone.

 

"Just stand back if you're not feeling man enough to take it on, weakling." Zoro always found the right words at the right time. To hurt someone and crush whatever confidence they had left. Under different circumstances, she would have stood up to him and protected Sanji against these unfair accusations, but right now, while he was watching? It could have done more harm than good.

 

"Incoming! Move!" She didn't even have time to be shocked to see this age old nightmare once again. It moved too quickly for its seize, was too strong for the lankiness of its limbs and .. too old to be alive. The deep sea was the host of numerous forms of monsters. Gigantic sea kings, the terrible kraken and an indefinite amount of other monstrosities. But even taking these into consideration, their enemy stood out. While the outward appearance mimicked that of a giant frog or toad, it mattered most what was lying underneath. Nami would never forget this face sculpted in the very forges of Hell itself. It nearly took her a second too long to realise that she shouldn't be thinking about all of this right now. The ruin the crew had covered behind was no more, crumbling to dust after only a single swing of these very same arms that once tore the legendary Straw Hat Pirates apart. She tried to shake off the ringing in her ears and the sand in her eyes, but to little avail. From what she was able to see, Luffy and Zoro were already engaged in a mortal mêlée with their towering Nemesis.

 

"Cook- _san_! Cinquante fleurs!" What happened? Her sight was still blurred and Nami had to struggle to get back to her feet. Deaf and half-blind, she tried her best to fall back while her captain and the swordsman took the heat. Precious moments passed by before she was able to see again and when she could, her heart skipped several beats. Franky, Usopp and Chopper – now in his Heavy Point form – were strenously pulling away from a pile of rubble and stones, aided by Nico Robin's devil fruit and countless arms sprouting from everywhere.

 

"I've got him, still breathing!" At least that was a reason for relief. Nami supported herself against a still standing wall and had trouble catching her breath. What a terrible way to start a fight. The monster had gotten the jump on them and the only two people fighting it weren't a match for it many years back, when they were still in their prime.

 

"Sanji! Listen: Luffy and Zoro **need** you now! You've got to keep that .. that thing busy until we've figured something out!"

 

_Usopp's voice. He's right. We can't rely on their brute strength alone anymore. Not that it didn't help us back then. Please, there has to be a way! If we can't defeat this beast, all the tears were in vain! The broken hearts, the dreams of things to come, all in vain! It won't happen! It mustn't happen!_

 

"Let go of me! I've still got an old score to settle with this beast!" The cook was barely on his feet and visibly had to force the fight on himself, but his words betrayed his feelings. No matter how much he tried to be his old self again, he was still without passion. It did not stop him from joining the fray, but his efforts were for naught. Even Nami was able to follow his movements as he engaged the beast, landing futile kicks all over the monster's armoured body. The same thing happened that happened back during their first fight with it: No matter if it was Luffy's devil fruit enhanced attacks, Zoro's raw strength or Sanji's kicks, it shrugged it all off without visible effort. She didn't know what made the devil's skin so resilient. Maybe it was age and the pressure of the deep sea, maybe it was spellforged, maybe a fallen god or all of the above. Nothing they did managed to slow down its rampage and more and more ruins turned to dust as the Monster Trio dodged the wild swings of its arms.

 

_Please, please, please! Don't let me be useless anymore! I can't stand it! My Clima-tact, just anything! Give me a weapon, don't let them die before my eyes! Please!_

 

The impact of something large right next to her made her cower and raise her hands to protect her face, only when that large something began to cough did she lower her defenses and rushed to its side, trying to shield the man with her own body. As the dust settled, Nami felt like she was going to suffocate. His voice was just so weak, nothing about it could have reminded her of the man she once knew.

 

".. forgive me, Nami- _san_. I .. am not .. strong enough to .. protect you. Never .. been .." She wanted to cry, wanted to tell him that he was an idiot and that he had saved her countless times before. But there were no words left in her mouth, no tears left to cry. Maybe this time, just this once, she had to be the one to save him.

 

_But how?! If even Luffy and Zoro can't hurt that beast, what am I supposed to do?! Tell me!_

 

Great deeds and greater people were forged in fire, on the anvil of that was strife. Desperation more often than not managed to break men and women alike, but what happened when the same desperation was forced to fight against an equally unstoppable conviction?

 

"Isn't it a thing of beauty?" A voice right beside them asked.

"Friendship, love. One unbreakable shield against the coming darkness." It continued, but Nami didn't care.

"Bonds once broken, now reforged in defiance of fate." By now, the voice seemed to be coming from inside her head, yet she did not care. Sanji was unconscious and whatever was about to come, she would protect him.

"You are not weak, sweet child. You are longing for a weapon to defend your loved ones, but don't you see that you have so much more at hand? Behold, the Origin of All that is Good and Mother to Us All is keenly watching your steps."

 

She did not understand. She did not care. None of them would be taken away this day, not if she could help it. Looking down on Sanji's bruised face, she lowered her head and breathed soft kisses on his forehead, his cheeks and finally, wihout hesitation, on his lips. Whatever would happen today, no matter how much they would have to suffer, she just felt that this was important and even if it was only for a moment, she forgot all the terror around them. Her fighting friends, their Nemesis, buildings that were crushed by forces not from this world.

 

_It's only Sanji-kun, myself and this beautiful sun above us. If these are our last moments, I can .. finally say that I am happy. I am truly happy, my love._

 

_"I'm afraid that I am in no condition to continue the fight, Nami-san." He is awake now. Of course he is, because everything that is happening here is purely my imagination._

_"Your mind is as sharp and wonderful as ever, Nami-san, but this time, you're only half-right. Indeed, this is happening in your imagination. But not only yours, it's happening in mine, too. I'm astounded that Observation Haki could work like that. My dear Nami-san .. look at the sun. It is almost as brilliant as you are."_

_I've never heard of Haki working like that either, Sanji-kun. Are you sure that I'm not dreaming?_

_"Very sure, but I could be wrong. Look at me, I'm unconscious. But I might yet be of a little use to you, if that is your wish."_

_You idiot! You know that I'd do anything to help!_

_"I know, Nami-san. That is one of the reasons that make me love you. Listen carefully because time is short. Do you remember the time my heart spent within your bosom, my love?"_

_I do, but how could that possibly help us? Though, thinking about it, maybe this past connection might be the reason we're able to talk right now .. if we're actually talking._

_"My beloved Nami-san is so smart! Yes, that might actually be the reason!"_

_Go on, time might be moving slower in this .. trance we're in, but I've no doubt that it's still moving. Our friends are fighting!_

_"I know, and you .. you might join them, if you like. With .. more or less me at your side."_

_Didn't you listen, Sanji-kun? I'm unarmed! No Clima-tact, no clever tactics or strategies. I'm not strong enough to even put a dent in this thing if even Luffy, Zoro and you couldn't make it!_

_"You are so much stronger than you think you are, my beloved Nami-san. When your beautiful body was given into my aegis, I had to take a very deep dive with it to recover Kin'emon's body. We never talked about that because I was scared that you would beat me, but your body is capable to do a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for."_

_What do you mean by that? What happened when you dived for his body?!_

_"At first, I only had to swim and even back then, your body managed the pressure of the deep water without aching. Then .. well, I kicked the shark that was chewing on his torso, but that's not even the most important thing."_

_What is it?! I don't know how much time we have left, Sanji-kun!_

_"Your body, Nami-san, withstood the strain that my Blue Walk put on it without failing. You were swimming as fast as a fishman and your muscles weren't even sore after it. Granted, it wasn't for a long time, but you've got what it takes to help them finish this beast."_

_How could swimming as quickly as that help us now?! Sanji-kun, if you have a plan, you might want to come out with it right now!_

 

A plan he had. A stupid one, but at that time, it was their best shot. For a moment after leaving the trance, she felt alone again. Cold. Like waking up from a wonderful dream, Sanji was still unconscious, his head resting on her legs. It shocked her that she was still able to hear his voice, but only for a moment.

 

_Don't you worry, my love. I'll be with you all the way to the very end._

 

Nami was incredibly relieved that the breathing of his physical body was going steady again. Nonetheless, she carefully put her hands beneath his head and softly let it down on the ground. For their plan to work, she needed to be standing.

 

_May I humbly request one last kiss from Nami-san?_

 

That comment made her smile against her will. Some things would never change, and that was a good thing. Yet her answer was:

"No. In the future, you might be able to request kisses from .. from **your** Nami- _san_. But for a very long time, it will better not be a last one. Alright now, what .. how do I have to do it?"

She worked herself into a standing position and looked down on her body. She was still wearing her dress and as beautiful as it might look, it was absolutely not made to withstand a fight. Determined as she was, Nami bowed down again and tore the lower end of the dress apart as to gain freedom of movement for her perfect long legs before standing up again. She wasn't even surprised that she could see the silhoutte of Sanji's body standing close to her when she concentrated on it. It was a weird day, weird things were to be expected.

 

 _The first step is the most important one._ The silhoutte knelt down next to her and put his hand on her now exposed leg, seemingly caressing it. If anyone but her could have seen this, there'd be a lot of things to explain when all of this was over. Luckily for the both of them, her friends were still fighting. Even Usopp and Robin had joined in, she remarked, as stones were thrown against their foe and from every possible and impossible angle arms were sprouting. On the beast itself, on the stones that Usopp threw at it. To no avail, but it bought them time and a little respite for Luffy and Zoro who undeniably had gotten the worst of the fighting. They were covered in countless bruises and scratches, both panting like wild animals. But still not broken. The whole damn island would break before these two would.

 

_As I said, the first step is the most important one for it to work. You need to find something inside yourself that you react very strongly to. Rage, hatred, passion, love. Everything would do, the feeling just needs to be strong enough._

 

Something that she felt strongly or passionate about? In theory, it should have been easy enough. If not for the fact that she had tried to bury all these wonderful memories for a long time now, so deeply that it felt like graverobbery to summon them before her inner eye. But as with a lot of other things in life, the solution was standing .. and fighting right before her very eyes.

Seeing the Straw Hats reunited again, fighting together. For their dreams, for their future. Luffy's shouting and unshakable conviction even in the face of an enemy that seemed invulnerable to everything they could throw at it. Zoro's silent stoicism while the took hit after hit from lanky arms that would have crushed a lesser man into dust. Robin's effort to back up the others, taking the force out of strikes and swings with sprouting arms and flowers, Usopp desperately trying to live up to his dream, his promise. As he always did. Chopper and Franky were in hiding again as the time to use the Rumbleball had not yet come and Franky's reserves ran out. They didn't want to be in the way. And finally .. her blonde cook. Even though his unconscious body was still lying on the ground, she could still feel the warmth of his lips on hers. And even though he wasn't really touching her right now, she could still feel him. These people were all that she needed.

 

She even felt his hands on her shoulders as if he was about to massage them, putting the silhoutte of his right leg next to hers.

_You're doing wonderful, my love. And now that you're having a grasp on these emotions, let me assist you in guiding them to where they are needed._

His right hand left her shoulder and she somehow felt the tip of his finger running down her neck, softly caressing the skin along her spine – because as a specter or whatever he was, he didn't seem to care about the silk that was still covering parts of her back – and came to a hold when his hand reached her hips. He just couldn't help himself and brushed over her butt.

 

"Hands off the goods, mister. For now." Even in a situation as tense as that, she couldn't suppress a smile, and though she wasn't looking at his face, not even the face of his spectre, she was able to vividly imagine his disappointment. Nevertheless, his hand finally continued its journey and gently brushed over her thigh until it reached her lower leg.

 

_This is were the magic happens, Nami-san. Under different circumstances, it would be a little more complicated to get it to work, but now that I'm with you, I think we might be able to skip that part. Please, Nami-san, my love: Allow me to be the spark that starts and feeds your fire._

 

Once again, she smiled.

 

"You always were."

 

It took only seconds until she felt a pleasant and comfortable heat radiating from the spectre's leg and while in the past she had shied away from this heat .. his heat, she finally embraced it. Putting her right hand on her left shoulder, on the hand that she still felt, she gave herself to the flame. And under this wonderfully blue and clear sky, her fire was the sun's equal. With every moment passing, she gave in a little more to the power that was flowing through her entire body, not just her leg. Every draw of air she inhaled made her feel like she was breathing a living flame. Nami felt unstoppable now that she had a glimpse of the Monster Trio's might at her own disposal.

 

_I will be with you until this is over, my love. Let's send this beast back to where it belongs. Together._

 

She nodded, filled to the brim with newfound confidence and threw her head around to where Franky and Chopper were taking cover.

 

"Chopper, keep your rumbleball close at hand, Franky, throw Chopper into the air for a monster plunging attack when I'm giving you the sign!"

 

"Your leg's burning!", was the first thing the little reindeer doctor shouted.

 

"Yeah, I think it's part of my new style, don't you like it?"

 

"Suits you, sis, but what sign?!"

 

"You won't miss it, just keep your eyes on me! We only have one shot, timing is of the essence!" With these words on her lips, she finally moved towards the fray. Finally being allowed to act, to take part. To do her part. The giant toad was still effortlessly keeping the combined powers of Luffy, Zoro, Robin and Usopp at bay and sooner or later, their strength and endurance would have failed them.

 

_That's not going to happen. That is never going to happen again._

 

"That new look suits you, navigator- _san_." Robin greeted her, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Even though she was breathing heavily, there was a wide smile on her face. Maybe she knew more about what was happening here?

 

"I need all of you to provide me with an opening, just long enough to cook this beast from the inside! Luffy, Zoro, Usupp! Remember that it was keeping another face under that skin?! Maybe it'll show that one again once I boiled it enough! Chopper drop down on it in his monster form, but once that's gone, it's all up to you and this thing better not still be standing then!"

 

"Understood, let's try it your way." Both Luffy and Zoro seemed to be mobilising their last reserves to get going, but they managed it and within the next second, countless arms began to sprout on the beast's arm, accompanied by a rain of aethereal flowers. Robin had already begun and Zoro answered her efforts at once. His muscles began to swell until they reached the size of a gorilla's and with this additional strength, the combined efforts of the archaeologist and the swordsman wrestled the creature's arm to the ground. The captain didn't keep them waiting and moved as fast as a human lightning bolt, entangling the monster's other arm with his rubber body and giving his everything to keep it nailed to the ground. By now, Usopp had left the position from which he was throwing rocks and went to support his captain. Even without the monstrous power of the other two or a devil fruit enhanced body, he was still an able warrior and every single bit helped.

 

It was her turn now and she began to move towards their Nemesis without a fear in the world. What was there to fear when all your friends were there to help you, to support you? What was there to fear when the person you loved shared every step with you? Nothing.

 

Nami set on to a sprint for the last few metres before she launched herself at the beast, somehow perfectly mimicking one of Sanji's jumping kicks. Both were shouting at the top of their lungs.

 

_BACK TO THE PIT WITH YOU!_

 

"BACK TO THE PIT WITH YOU!"

 

As her burning foot finally came into contact with the beast's sturdy armour, she didn't know if it was working. For an endlessly long second, she didn't know if all her efforts were, indeed, done in vain. The relief came in the form of sizzling. Roasting flesh underneath a hardened shell. It grew louder and louder the longer her leg was connected to the beast and even an unnameable evil that has aged for countless aeons couldn't withstand this pain forever.

 

Its cry of anguish was bloodcurdling, ear-splitting and the most wonderful sound in the world. Fume was coming out of the single slit in the armour and being invigorated by pain, it broke both of its arms free, tearing the second skin apart and revealing the ugly, vaguely human face underneath it. It did not expect the giant fist that came crashing down from the sky, muffling the anguished cry and throwing the large body into the direction of the open sea, back to the oceanic depths it supposedly came from.

 

After this first strike, their counter offensive began. Whatever strength the Straw Hats had left in their bruised and exhausted bodies, they used it. Whatever makeshift weapon they found, they used it. Every opening, every fault it made, they used it and punished it heavily for it until the beast was finally forced back into the ocean.

 

_Beautifully done, my love. I think that the time has come for me to join you in person._

 

"After all the work's done, right?", she asked seemingly no one in particular, but only Zoro looked at her with a raised brow.

And indeed, the cook joined them in no time after their special bond went to slumber. He was still shaky on his legs and blood ran down his confused face, but he was alive. It was to his utmost surprise that Nami rushed to his side and supported him. This wasn't a moment for pride or manliness, nor for fear of touch.

 

"It's not over. Thing's still here." She heard Zoro murmuring, already bracing himself for a last stand as the beast crawled back from the depths, now in turn using its last strength to find revenge. Yet none of them was swayed by that as they were all too busy .. blinking tears from their eyes.

 

A storm might shroud the world in darkness and blind the eyes of mortal men, fog might obscure it and in the fairy tales of old women, demons, devils, monsters and ghost ships inhabited these blind spots to the mortal eye. But not all of those with a monstrous appearance were evil. And not all ghost ships carried an evil intent with them.

 

"Nevermind. It's over."

 

As the beast was halfway out of the water, it couldn't have expected anything like that. A .. lion, or a sun or a flower or all of these things combined crashed into its back. The shock from this sudden impact made the beast scream out in anguish once again, but this time it threw up on them. Bones, hundreds, thousands of bones were its last gift before it returned to the sea. This time, though, for good.

 

"I'd like a glass of milk, please .."

 


End file.
